Unwanted Heat

Kenzie

I’m hot… like I’m lying next to a scorching fire. I force my eyes open needing to figure out why it’s suddenly so hot in here. I can’t sleep when it’s this hot. When my eyes finally focus, I immediately realize why I’m sweltering and it absolutely floors me. Nicholas, a shirtless Nicholas no less, is lying next to me, sound asleep. His leg is wrapped over mine and his arm rests across my stomach. It takes me a minute to remember how he ended up in here with me.

I can’t help but panic, remembering the nightmare I had last night that brought him into my room. I never wanted to him to know about my past, never expecting there to be a reason for him to know about my nightmares. I never thought we would ever be sleeping under the same roof so in my mind there would never be a chance for him to find out about my ex. Over dinner you just don’t randomly bring up that you dated an asshole who liked to hit you. You especially don’t discuss things like that with a guy who is paying you to go on dates with him. That is not part of the contract. He wants and needs someone who is complication-free; he doesn’t want to sit and talk about someone’s horrible childhood or the stupid mistakes they made as an adult.

I take one last glance at him, one last deep breath inhaling his scent, before I slide myself from his grip. I immediately feel… alone. I can’t remember the last time I had someone’s arms around me like that. I can’t remember the last time someone cuddled me after a nightmare; hell I can’t remember the last time someone held me, period. I would love nothing more than to stay in bed, to stay wrapped in his arms all day, but unfortunately I know things are going to be awkward enough when he wakes up. I don’t want to make things more so; I don’t want to give Nicholas any more of a reason to cancel our arrangement.

I look back at him sound asleep in the bed that I was in only moments ago before I resolutely step into the hallway and close the door behind me. I head down to the kitchen, determined to make breakfast and a pot of coffee before Nicholas wakes up. I need to wrap my head around everything that happened last night. I need to wrap my head around how I feel about it all.

God, it felt so good to sleep in Nicholas’s arms. I don’t know why he came into my room when he could have just ignored my screams. I don’t know why he laid in bed next to me when he could have just called my name or shook me awake like they used to do at the shelter. I don’t know why he held me even when I’m sure I fought him… I don’t know why he kissed me. His soft lips felt amazing against mine-the kiss was so different than the one at the awards dinner. It was full of emotion, which doesn’t make sense because this is just a business transaction. Nicholas doesn’t have feelings for me. He probably just felt sorry for me. Perhaps that’s what

I felt in the kiss… sympathy.

And then he stayed in my bed… all night. He slept next to me the entire night when he could have easily gone back to the guest room he was supposed to stay in. Why didn’t he go back to his room? Maybe he was going to return to his room but accidently fell asleep? Maybe he thought I would be mad if he left?

Did Nicholas have any problems during the night? Vivienne

No, his fever remained down and he ate a bowl of chicken noodle soup with veggies before bed without a problem. Kenzie

Good to hear! He might not have a bad case since he didn’t eat all of the chicken Vivienne

What can he have for breakfast? Should we stick with soup or can he have something else? Kenzie

Something light should be okay. Nothing greasy or too heavy though. Vivienne

Great, thanks! Kenzie

I’ll stop by later this evening to check on him. If he holds down breakfast without a problem and his fever doesn’t return, I don’t see the need for you to stay another night. Vivienne

Thanks Kenzie

I should be happy at Vivienne’s text, of course I’m happy that Nicholas is feeling better and doesn’t need me to stay. When I first read her text though, I couldn’t help but feel disappointed that I would be leaving soon. I don’t know why, but I was kind of looking forward to spending more time with him especially now that he is on the mend. I learned a lot more about Nicholas yesterday than I did over the few dinners and events we’ve been to together. I knew after the night my apartment was broken into that he was caring, but last night just went beyond anything I could have imagined. Nicholas comforted me in a way that no one has ever been able to. In all the years I’ve had nightmares, no one made me feel as safe as

Nicholas did last night. No one made me feel protected the way he did.

I suppose it’s a good thing that my stay here is coming to an end earlier than originally planned; we’ve crossed quite a few lines this weekend, that are going to be hard to uncross. After the way he held me and talked to me last night, I don’t know how we go back to our business arrangement. Do we just pretend like this weekend never happened? I can feel the heat rushing to my face remembering how good it felt to be held by Nicholas last night and how good it felt to have him kiss me the way he did last night. That is a side of him that I had no idea existed under the CEO facade he puts on every day. I’ve caught a few glimpses it but last night I realized Nicholas really is nothing I ever expected.

I wish I had someone to talk to about all of this. Not only am I bound by the NDA I signed with Bridget and Nicholas, I really don’t have anyone. I don’t have any friends and haven’t in a long time. I was friendly with a few girls in college but once I had to drop out we lost touch. There were a few people from the restaurant I thought I could have become friends with over time but that was all forgotten when I had to quit that job. I’m not very friendly with anyone at the bakery other than Ginny.

I briefly consider talking with Bridget but quickly decide against it.

What if she determines that I violated the contract with Nicholas and fires me? What if she ends the contract between me and Nicholas? I don’t even know what I would say to her. I don’t know how to explain what I’m feeling or even what I’m thinking. Nicholas and I have kissed a few times but I don’t think that violates the contract. I vaguely remember her saying that we could amend the physical contact portion of our contract as I became more comfortable with the person I was contracted with.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

I suppose we technically violated the contract since it hasn’t been amended yet but I don’t think it’s that big of deal. I’m more concerned that Bridget will think I violated the contract by being here this weekend. All contact is supposed to go through Bridget; we’re not supposed to make arrangements to see each other without involving her. This weekend was extenuating circumstances though…

“Something smells good,” Nicholas’s voice pulls me from my worries.

“Your mom said you could try a real meal this morning as long as it was light and non-greasy. I was just finishing an egg white omelet with veggies and a little cheese.”

“It smells really good but you didn’t need to cook for me, Kenzie.”

“I was up so it wasn’t a big deal. Do you want to try coffee? Or maybe tea?”

“Coffee would be wonderful. I’ll get it.”