Unforgiven Sins

Cinyla’s POV

BenChua was very worried about me when I woke up. I also lost my negative thoughts on things that hurt me emotionally, who would be more dramatic if you see someone who is very worried about you and now everyone is watching over and taking care of you. I just don’t want to think about my past, Mark’s, and mine. I will forget him.

I know it’s not easy and I don’t want to re-bound BenChua just because I want to forget. When I finally get out of here I will talk to him. I will be open to him so that he knows and even if this is what happened to me, life should still go on. Everyone deserves to be happy as long as you do the right thing.

“Are you okay, Cinyla? I’m sorry I fell asleep. I’m tired physically from the amount of work I’ve been doing. But don’t worry, I can still do it. Are you okay or are you in pain?” he asked. What he showed almost touched my heart. I smiled and said, “Of course it’s okay, it’s okay. I want to get out. What did the doctor say? Can I get out now?” I ask here. My eyes also searched for mama because when I woke up the only one who appeared to me now was BenChua.

“I don’t have any news yet, my aunt came out for a while to buy our food. I also asked their cashier, if your bill has already been paid. Wait, what happened?”

I bit my lower lip because I didn’t know how to explain it. So I just made a scene that would deviate my explanation of his question.

“Ouch! My foot hurts.” I said tearfully while holding my right foot. I came from acting like the type he would worry about.

“Hey? Are you okay? Wait, I will call a doctor!”

Because BenChua is a decision-maker and I’m just pretending that I’m feeling sick. I immediately pulled his hand away. “No! Just stay here, I need you.” I slipped so he was calm and I could see his strange smile.

“Cinyla, I know you’re a good actress huh? So who did it? Tell me ?!” it’s a serious reason for me to be swallowed up in no time and to just bow down because there is nothing left, he already knows. I’ll say it because I just don’t want it now.

Because his gaze was so sharp and he was waiting for my answer, I just said the part where I was hit by an old woman when I was crossing.

“What ?! An old woman ran her car against you? Cinyla, be careful when crossing. Where is she?”

“I kicked him out! He paid my bill, I know I was a fool crossing but I didn’t see a car, I was tired then. If you’re going to preach to me, just leave!”

It came over and took my hand. “No! I’m sorry, babe. You’re the one I’m worried about. I’ll take you to the next one but it’s up to you or else I’ll give you a bodyguard!” is a serious suggestion.

“What babe are you there ?! Don’t. It won’t happen again. Don’t bother anymore, I don’t want to have a bodyguard.” I frowned.

“All right, I’m just your bodyguard.” I kissed my right hand and the door opened.

It coughed slightly and said, “Does it bother me to enter?” mama teased the food she was carrying. BenChua and I settled down because of the embarrassing scene. Mom, why did you come in right away, we even had a moment!

“It’s not aunty, I just really reprimanded your son. I’m reprimanding him,” BenChua excused himself with a silly smile.

Mama laughed because of what she said and she received a weak blow from me. “I’m not scolding, that old man is in a hurry!” I irritate my tongue.

“Oh hey, don’t argue anymore. Eat first. Besides, I’ve already talked to your doctor, you’ll be able to go out tomorrow morning. So after you eat, rest first.” Mama ordered and she put the food she was carrying on the table. BenChua also helped him with the care.

“Ben? You’re here first, aren’t you? Feed my son and you’ll take care of him first. I’ll just take care of something,” said my mother as BenChua and I left.

I noticed that towing he called BenChua’s name is not complete, it’s confusing sometimes but that’s his name. Mama had already left while BenChua and I were the only ones left. I looked at it and there was still a streak of concern on his face. Is this really how he should be concerned? Still handsome!

“Come on babe, eat now. Do you want me to come with you to make you like me?” He holds the food but the tone of his voice is seductive.

He came over and handed me the food he was holding. It was just porridge because mama knew when I was sick I didn’t eat a heavy meal.

“What are you going to eat? Stop calling me babe!” I said irritably. The name ‘babe’ is in my favor but of course, I don’t want to get used to it and I have to fix the status of the two of us.

“I’ll eat after you. I’m okay, I’m worried about you because you need to have a lot of strength,” he said seriously and suddenly his aura changed because of my being rude to him.

I smiled slightly at what I thought. They say, when someone is so worried about you that they love you so much, it means they just don’t like me.

“All right, I’m going to eat, don’t frown. You’re losing weight.” I bowed because I slipped at what I told him. He is! I was still trying to eat until my stomach rang because I was really hungry.

“Are you? I’m handsome?” asking this reason for him to smile now foolishly.

“H-ha? W-what A-are you saying?” I stammered.

“No! It’s okay to eat oh, you’re gnawing.” I Command it.

I just obeyed his command, before he swallowed he blew the hot porridge first. I couldn’t help but look into his eyes, it’s serious but you can see how thoughtful he is to you.

“I know I’m handsome but maybe my handsome man will melt under your stare,” he said suddenly.

I stopped in mockery and raised an eyebrow. You thought you were so handsome, but yes you are handsome BenChua.

I just tried to chew it before finally responding to what he said. “Where are you! I’ll just eat, my hand can handle it.”

“No, it’s me. I know you want me to come with you.”

“Will you give it or I won’t spend it? All right, go shopping.” I seriously promise because his head is growing.

“It’s your throat when you’re sick, or that’s it. Eat well, huh? I’ll just go out and buy you some water, maybe my aunt forgot earlier. You’re just here.” He ordered and I nodded while sipping the porridge.

BenChua left and I was left alone in the room, I noticed that I was about to run out of porridge when something came to my mind. How can I tell him the truth? What if he gets angry and leaves don him? The difficulty!

With so many things bothering me now, I first chose to put the porridge on the table next to me and I felt thirsty as well. However, there were more questions in my mind. It’s really hard to love, but it’s harder when you’re left in the air.

As I waited, I couldn’t help but think of what-what, honestly it’s not easy like this. I thought that when we weren’t talking, it was gone. I was so complacent, he disappeared and something came into my life but I wasn’t sure either.

I just gasped at my thoughts. In the middle of my deep thought, there was a knock on the door.

“Cinyla?” Someone called my name from outside the room.

I don’t know who that is, but it’s familiar to me. The door opened and I saw who had called me, none other than ex. My ex-boyfriend Mark.

“What are you doing here?! I don’t need you!” I shout.

“I won’t bother you anymore, I just want to say goodbye and apologize to you again. I know someone is beating your heart right now and it’s okay for me to know that.” He explains once reaching for a small paper bag.

“With or without, you’re gone. I don’t need that. Just thank you all!”ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

“I’m happy for you, always be careful, Cinyla.”

I just turned around and ignored what he said.

“Get out of here!” I said out loud until another voice spoke.

“H-ha? I’ll just get here, Cinyla. What are you saying?” the language is BenChua. I was confronted because Mark was gone. I bit my lower lip because well they didn’t stretch and importantly I didn’t mention any names.

“Ah no, that’s just practice from what I saw last time. I just imitated, Go away!” I dramatize to distract him from things he shouldn’t ask me.

“I thought what, here’s the water you drink first. Auntie texted me, later she’ll be here so after you drink that, rest first.”

I took the water he gave me and drank it as well. I just smiled and went to bed, I only ate a little so it was okay to go to bed again. Before I could close my eyes and finally rest I called him.

“BenChua, thank you!” I said happily and adjusted myself.

It came over and pinched me, parting my hair. “Just be strong babe, you need that. I’m just here for you all the time,” she said softly so a sweet smile flashed on my lips because of what she said.

“All right, take a break, just kiss me next time.” It’s a joke. I hit him and turned around. “As much as you know! I’ll take a break.”

Although I had a lot to say and ask him, I just chose to keep quiet I also heard his weak laugh and sat on the small sofa that is here in the room. I just noticed that the old woman took the VIP room. I was sad when I remembered that, this is probably the reason for my ex. He just changed me financially and physically. It still has charm because I can barely remember its overall look and body. Compared to me, it’s simple and there’s nothing to be proud of.

I just hugged myself and hopefully, when I wake up later I will forget the bitterness of the past, the pain of yesterday, and most of all the person who caused me to weaken like this.

I just closed my eyes even though honestly, I can’t sleep because I remember what my ex said when he confessed earlier. He is my first boyfriend and we have been together for almost two years, but everything is just imagination for me because of his infidelity.

I tried to remove the weight from my heart but I could do nothing but accept it all. I didn’t realize that wet liquid was falling on both of my eyes.

Why is it so painful? I hope I never met you, Mark, and I hope BenChua just came already. This will be my last cry for the reason of love.