Zero and Beauty's Breath (A Satan Sniper's Motorcycle Club Series Book 3 - 4)

Chapter 32 (Zero)

Since Beggar has returned, I haven't witnessed an episode.

I thought maybe she was better, now I know I just didn't want to notice.

Since our time in the barn, I have avoided her.

I knew I was going to do it, I knew that moment was a selfish part of my doing.

For that one moment I wanted to have her and I did. I walked away from her that day, moving on with

Quinn.

I was straight up with Quinn that night, I told her what I did, I gave her the chance to leave me, and she

almost did. But the woman had a thick fucking skin and took it in stride.

Not saying the shit between us has been a bed and fuck load of roses, she gives me shit about Beggar

every time.

But I let her, Quinn is a good woman, I know this now because if she wasn't she would've confronted

Beggar about it, made a scene, did something nasty, but she hasn't.

And to show my gratitude I stay away from Beggar. She is my past, and I have managed to keep it that

way these last four and a half weeks.

It slipped my mind that Beggar wasn't just any woman, she was a woman with deep bone issues and I

used to be one of those people who could make it stop.

This entire month I spent some much energy hating her as she glared at me whenever I stepped in the ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

room, her eyes accusing me that I forgot that she had real-life demons.

One minute I was cursing her for wearing that tight vest that hugged her perky tits.

She only ever wore stuff that covered her neck and back, but it was always tight.

Next, I was bearing witness to the scars of a woman who made me a man and brought me to my

knees.

I screamed, “Enough” and went for her, only she didn't obey like she once did.

Hannah, After and Venus all rushed to her aid in hysterics, but what stopped my feet from moving was

Killer's chair hitting the ground as he pushed all the women aside and lifted her into his arms like he

had all rights to her.

Soft words from his mouth to her ear as he rushed off with her, was what she listened to, what calmed

her.

Yet, It didn't stop me from following him with the girls right on my tail.

Now it is an hour later and we're sitting in Killer's room.

The black blinds are drawn, as After sits huddled in the corner on the carpet, talking in low voices with

Mercy and Spade.

Venus and Hannah are on the king-sized bed. Venus lying across the end of the charcoal comforter

and Hannah perked up against the headboard and two pillows reading her textbook.

I am sitting back-to-front on the study chair by the door, looking at Beggar's peaceful form as she

sleeps in another brother's room.

Sitting here has me questioning everything, all over again, it is safe in my mind but it is there-Her and I.

This woman makes me ache in ways I don't want to ache from.

I will rather be tortured a million times over than endure this.

How do I not choose her? How do I ever walk away from Beggar, the one woman who made me feel- I

can't. It is impossible.

Killer left after he put her down, I didn't get it, if he wants her why leave.

Then again it was Killer, one never understands why he does what he does, so I would be wrong to

assume.

Beggar stirs and it feels like she locks this rope around my chest and pulls me in.

I feel almost trapped, and I hate this fucking feeling.

I get up and pull the door open, high-tail it out of the room as her soul hums to mine.

Disinfectant clogs my sense as I rush down the stairs, straight to the bar.

Killer, Texas, and Whisp take up three chairs on the left, as I go around the bar, grab a bottle of Jack off

the shelves on the wall and a glass from the counter.

The cap is off in seconds and I pour the liquid in to the glass until it is full, then chuck it back and fill it

up again as the burn from the alcohol begins to numb me.

“Don't get drunk, we need you to track Stacy. Mercy and After will be joining you. I need to be here.”

Because Beggar needs him, not me.

Killer doesn't say the words but they are loud and clear. I keep my mouth shut, because what the fuck

am I going to say, Beggar and I are done.

Killer is moving in or has already. Any day now he'd be claiming her.

I down my next glass as Whisp starts talking about her assignment she is going on with Jade on

collecting in-tel on Lucca's whereabouts.

It seems like everywhere I go these days is surrounded by Beggar, she doesn't even have to be in the

room. And it honestly frustrates the fuck out of me.

The fact is I can't be with her, she tried to kill my brother, she almost succeeded. His enemy is my

enemy and soon I would need to face them both when he returns from his stay with my dad. It won't be

long.

My iphone rings as I finish off the amber liquid.

Slipping it out of my denim pocket, I SEE Quinn's smiling face on the screen and swipe the green icon.

“Watsup?” I turn my back to Texas's eyes who hasn't left me since I stepped in the room.

“Well, here's the thing, I know we haven't gotten out and with all the deaths lately it isn't advisable but I

got this work function here at the hospital I completely forgot about and I need to go, like desperately

go, so please say you'll come.”

Her vibrant voice goes through the phone, into my ears and I close my eyes listening to it, knowing that

deep inside I know it isn't the voice I want to be asking me this.

Nor is Quinn a fill in for Beggar, truth is, no woman can take her place, just like no woman can hurt me

like she can. And I won't let it happen. It is time I man up and I know what I have to do.

“Let's talk about it later when you get back yeah, I'm gonna send one of the girls to pick you up, not

gonna make it in time.”

She's quiet and I have no idea what she's thinking, but I know come tonight I am sure to find out. It is

one thing about Quinn I know, is shit with her never stays quiet.

“Sure, be careful.”

“Later.”

I end the call and face the trio who were no doubt listening.

“Is River back, need to talk to him 'bout somethin',” I ask and keep my eyes pinned on Whisp who is the

only one of the three not looking at me like I just committed murder.

“Are you sure 'bout that something brother,” Killer questions me in that tone he uses when he is pissing

me off as he sips his Heineken.

“Sure 'bout what? You fuckin' asses didn't even invite me, where's the love,” Spade announces

breaking my stare off with Killer.

I take it as my queue to make tracks.

“Hey, come sit your ass down and have a beer with me, had one fuck up of a day, but got news about a

couple who's been staying 'round town,” Spade says, and I grab five cold ones for all of us before

rounding the bar and planting myself next to him.

If the brother got news I need to know.

“Well?” Texas says as I twist the cap off my beer.

“Went to check them out, guy checked out, but the female Cary Johnson, from Detroit, has three 545's,

and rap sheet that screams killer. Did extra digging, found out she was institutionalized for a couple

years, got out last fall for good behavior.”

“Sounds like Ms Johnson is due for some visitors,” Texas muses.

“Question is who wants to scare the crazy lady.” Spade asks, as he sips from his bottle.

“After and Beggar, they both scare the crap out of me,” Whisp suggests and I am ready to refuse.

“After is going with Mercy to Stacy's place, then meeting Zero to track her, Beggar can handle it but I'd

have to go with, she'll need a ride, and I can't leave Hannah 'till Rivers back.”

“I can take her,” Den says and I look over my shoulder at his posing form by the door, he looks like a

goth nightmare.

Those fucking contacts of his grate on my nerves.

“Hell to the fuck No, she isn't riding on your bike, she'd be fucking dead before she made it to the top of

the street,” Killer's blunt refusal has Texas chuckling, Whisp coughing and even I find myself smiling.

Den is a good brother but the man is young, got a long way to go before he can earn rights to have one

of our women on his bike.

“I'll go have a little chat with the crazy person, maybe I'd get lucky and she runs.” Texas says as he

scrapes his chair and picks up his cowboy hat that was next to his beer bottle.

He puts it on, covering the top part of his face. He grabs his biker jacket from behind his chair and slips

it on over his cut.

“That's sorted, think I'd also better get moving, needa make tracks to the grocery store, heard Hannah's

making lasagna, gotta fetch the brat from school today too, fuck my luck,” Spade says as he finishes off

his beer and also gets up to leave.

The brother and Jo are constantly fighting. For a man who insists he is at peace with himself his temper

boils when Jo is with him, yet the brother will wait in the fucking sun for hours just so she can swim in

the river.

He ain't fooling anybody, not even himself.

Kid got him glued around her little pinky same way she does River and most of the guys.

Even Texas makes sure he stacks up on bubblegum marshmallows for the kid and stashes it in his

room away from Hannah.

“Get her 7up before you go, she had soccer today,” Killer tells Spade as the brother checks his phone.

“Are you sure about this?” Killer asks me as Spade leaves the room, I know what he is asking and I

reply with a sharp nod.

I down the rest of my beer and slam the empty on the counter.

“It's the only way I know how.” I leave him with my parting words and hear Whisp resume their

conversation as I turn and almost run into After who pushes me back.

“Sorry, my fault,” I say feeling like shit.

She glares at me for a passing second and doesn't reply as she moves away. I head straight for the tv

room, grab my helmet, jacket and keys off the table next to the double sofa and I'm out the door in

seconds.

The sky is clear as the heat from the tar fills me with anticipation of the ride ahead.