The Mafia’s Wanted Desires

ASHLEY

A dull ache settled into the corner of my head, and then, it began pounding heavily, causing me to groan. I turned, snuggling further into my pillow and soft snores emitted from my lips. I tried to open my eyes, but I was failing miserably at it. My eyes wouldn’t stop snapping shut. The moment they fluttered open, I struggled to keep it that way.

The first thing I could make out through my hazy sight was the white walls of the room, the rays of sunlight shooting directly into my eyes, eliciting an internal wince from me. I didn’t know how long I laid down, trying to recall where I was and how I got here. My brain was blank. I couldn’t come up with anything.

I exhaled, and my eyes glazed over to the masculine frame beside me. The seductive smell of a cologne along the line of citrus and berries assaulted my nostrils, rendering me dizzy with the feeling of satisfaction that washed over me.

It was soft, but I could smell it everywhere. That was what the room smelled like. Every single thing. But, I knew it came directly from him. He was the source of the alluring scent. My eyes swatted to his face, and I froze, my body twice as tense.

My breath hitched at the sight of his perfectly sculpted face. He had such prominent cheekbones and jawlines that could slice a rock in halves. They appeared delicately beautiful. His eyelashes were dark, long, and super thick, aligning with his dark brows and his pointed nose.

He had the warmest ivory skin for a man.

His salmon-colored lips were slightly ajar. They were thin and small. I fought the urge to run my fingers over it, leaving heat to pool between my legs. They turned me on. So badly. A lot more than I cared to admit.

His soft breaths were barely audible. I knew he was deeply asleep. His black hair was so messy, glowing under the morning sun like it was adorned with diamonds. It was full, lush, and overly soft by the looks of it.

It was as though I was staring at perfection but in human form.

The thought of lying here in bed and watching him sleep was beguiling and super tempting. It was a beautiful sight that soothed all my heightened nerves.

I wanted to stay this way.

So bad.

I fell back onto the bed, and the covers shifted off my legs, exposing a great number of my unclad thighs, dangerously close to my hips. I froze, colour draining out of my face, making me as pale as a ghost!

What was going on?

I lifted my shaky hands and squeezed my eyes shut, muttering a word of prayer and desperately hoping it wasn’t what I thought it was. I yanked the covers off my body, and my eyes snapped open, meeting my unclad body that plunged my brain into a momentary blackout.

I could feel my soul leave my body, leaving a lifeless shell of myself, right where I lay on the bed. My whole life flashed right before my eyes, shattering into a gazillion pieces. My heart thudded heavily, pounding with its full might against my chest, causing fear to crawl up to my spine and leaving me a stupefied mess.

No, no, no, no!

No!

No!

No! I didn’t sleep with him!

I couldn’t have been that stupid! I couldn’t have been that gullible and thoughtless! I couldn’t have slept with another man. That was impossible. It’s all just a nightmare. I’m going to close my eyes now, and I’ll wake up in Adam’s arms.

And slowly, I closed my eyes and took a long drag of my breath, puffing it out with ease. They fluttered open, locking in a stare with my peach dress that was lying a few steps away from which the bed stood, breaking me all over again.

A strangled sob left my mouth, and I shook my head vehemently, not wanting to believe what was going on. The corner of my eyes stung so badly as I held back my tears, not wanting them to spill, but they did anyway. I slapped my palms over my mouth to silence my loud sobs.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

I had sex with another man.

I let him take my virginity, and I barely even knew him!

I squeezed my eyes shut and groaned, my brain sending reports of yesternight back to me, hitting me in flashes. It was slow and agonizing. The girls coming over to my place, the party, Grey’s lounge, Vodka___

I groaned again.

We danced, and I left to get some air__

My breath was starting to come out of my short pants. I gripped my hair tightly, wanting to pull them out of my scalps because I deserved it!

The dark hallway, the bouncers, then I…I went in.

The deep, dark realization hitting me in the face had me sobbing all over again.

Green eyes…

“Hello, Peach,”

“Whoa, you are so tall__”

“Your heartbeat…”

No! No! I don’t want to remember!

I don’t want to!

“Can I kiss you?”

“You are so beautiful, Peach__”

God, no. What the hell did I do?

I was broken. I was irritated with myself. I was disgusted. I was mad at myself.

“I want you. Right now. All of you.”

I shook my head in denial and sprang up from the bed like I was on fire. I found the bathroom in no time and turned on the shower, screaming aloud underneath the running tap. I grabbed the sponge, scrubbing myself angrily, washing away my dirt, my mess, my infidelity. Washing every lingering touch of his off my body.

I cried so hard under the shower.

I was repulsed.

I slid down the wall and buried my face in my palms, hugging my knees to my chest.

How was I ever going to face Adam again?

I sniffed and hiccuped, turning off the shower by its switch. I dried my hair with my towel and patted my body dry. I paddled into the room and didn’t try to find my pantie. I picked up my dress from the floor and slipped it on, grabbing my bag from the couch in the room.

I was unclean, incapable of Adan’s love anymore. How do I get to explain myself to him? Each moment I spent in this room, memories of last night kept flooding my head. I couldn’t believe I begged him to make love to me, I was no different from a whore last night and I felt disgusted with myself.

I choked out a sob and ran out of the room. I didn’t stop to look for my shoes. I took the things that I could find and bolted out of the room.

Out of his life.

Never to prevail seen again.