The House Mate (Roommates, #3)

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I stood in front of the bathroom mirror staring at my reflection, wondering how things had turned to shit so fast.

“It’s your own fault,” I muttered accusingly to the devastated person looking back at me through tear-blurred eyes.

As much as the whole coordinated attack in Max’s office hurt, he was right. I had lied to him the day we met, and by not coming clean over the past month, I’d in effect lied to him every day since. But, damn him, he’d broken my heart today.

I could still picture the cold anger on his face as he told me to leave. Could still see the faint grin stretching Tiffany’s lips.

“What a bitch.”

There was no question I’d brought this on myself, but she’d made it a million times worse. And what made it even worse than that? The fact that I’d actually gone to Max’s office today to tell him the truth and admit that I was madly in love with him.

Fresh tears slipped down my face as I turned away from the mirror and continued stuffing my toiletries into my suitcase.

I thought it had hurt when Greg and I had broken up, but compared to how I was feeling right now, facing the rest of my life without Max? That was like a paper cut. Now my heart felt like it had been stomped on by a herd of buffalo, and there wasn’t shit I could do about it.

“Hey.”

Max’s voice jarred me from my thoughts, and I let out a gasp.

“I didn’t hear you come in. Sorry, I’ll be out of your way in a few minutes.”

He glanced at the suitcase that was already stuffed with clothes, and his mouth settled into a grim line. “So you’re leaving?”

I froze, staring at him like he’d lost his mind. “Of course. You and Devil Wears Prada basically fired me back there. What else would I be doing?”

I wanted to throw myself at his feet and beg him to forgive me. To tell him that I never meant to deceive him. I’d been in a desperate place and knew I was capable of taking care of Dylan, but what was the point? He’d already proven back at the office that he didn’t want to hear my excuses.

“I can’t imagine this house without you anymore,” he said simply. “And Dylan would be lost without you.”

I refused to let those words give me even a glimmer of hope. The fact that his daughter loved me didn’t change anything. “I wanted to talk to you about that. I know this is weird, but I’d like to be able to still spend time with Dylan once I leave. Maybe not right away, but in a few weeks, once a little time has passed.” And I can stop crying for more than three consecutive minutes. “I’d like to be able to come take her to the park or something. I realize you probably don’t trust me anymore, but at least think about it. She’s lost enough, Max.”

His eyes looked wild as he stepped closer and took my hands, using them to lead me out of the bathroom and into my bedroom.

“I can’t concentrate on anything watching you pack that suitcase,” he admitted with a low growl. “It’s making me want to puke. And I also don’t want you to come and take Dylan to the park once in a while.”

I should have expected that, but it still felt like another blow to the solar plexus. “Please, Max . . .”

“No, Addison. It’s me who should be pleading with you. I don’t want you to leave at all. Stay. I was so wrong to handle things the way I did back there. All I can say in my defense is that I was shocked. Tiffany had literally just given me the news, and you walked in a few seconds later. If I’d had even ten minutes to let it settle in, I’d like to believe I would’ve handled it all very differently.”

“So you’re saying you want me to stay and continue being Dylan’s nanny?” Joy and sadness melded together in a nauseating brew, and I swallowed hard. Could I do that? Could I stay here in this house and not be with Max?

“No,” he said, running the tip of his thumb over the pulse in my wrist. “I want you to stay, but not as Dylan’s nanny.”

I was still trying to catch his meaning when he dropped to one knee and gazed up at me, his beautiful eyes blazing. “I want you to stay as my fiancée.”

The world spun, my heart stuttering as I looked down at him in disbelief. “Are you for real right now?”

He gave me a sad smile and nodded. “I am. You gave Dylan your love, you gave us your time, you shared yourself with me, and after your past, I know that took courage. If you can’t forgive me for the way I treated you back there, I understand, but I realized something today. I fucking love you. If I didn’t, knowing that you lied to me wouldn’t have felt the way it did.”

Shame hit me almost as hard as his declaration of love. Was this really happening? “Max, I-”

“Let me finish. I should’ve thought about how much you’ve proven yourself to us, and how much I do truly trust you. So, here’s my take on what happened. You were fully able to care for Dylan and knew graduating was just a formality. Then, the further things went, the more afraid you were to tell me.” He frowned, his dark brows knitting together. “I don’t like that you felt like you couldn’t be honest with me, but then I realized that’s partially on me. I should’ve made you feel secure. Told you how much Dylan and I both care for you and need you. Then you would’ve felt safe telling me, and you’d have known that something like that could never tear us apart.”

He lifted his hands to rest on my hips and squeezed. “So put me out of my misery and tell me that you love me too. Tell me that we can put this in the past and move forward as a couple. Marry me, Addison. Please. We can raise Dylan together; you can go back to school if you want to. Whatever makes you happy. Just don’t go.”

My mouth was bone dry as I tried to get the words out. I went to speak, but a wail broke out in the next room.

Dylan.

“Shit,” Max muttered with a wry laugh as he stood. “I put her in the crib with some toys so we could talk, but she’s clearly done with them now. I know today has been crazy, so I want you to think about it. Just promise me you won’t go.”

I nodded. “Okay. Yeah, I’ll unpack.” I watched him leave, adrenaline from the roller coaster of the past few hours coursing through my veins.

As thrilled as I was that he’d said the L-word, I couldn’t help but wonder if it had been a knee-jerk reaction to almost losing me. What happened if I went all in with him again emotionally and said yes, only to have him change his mind tomorrow? I’d done that. Gave Greg everything and more, and when he decided to pull the rug out from under me, I was left with nothing. I needed to be sure. Needed to be sure Max was sure.

He had offered me some time, so I would take it. I knew what I wanted. Max and Dylan, forever and ever. It was Max I wasn’t so sure of, and the risk I was subjecting myself to scared the hell out of me.

I said a little prayer under my breath and set my suitcase back on the bed.

Please, God, let this be real. I don’t think my heart could take it if it’s not.