The Boyfriend

Kelsey came back later that day looking exhausted. She threw her arms up and fell on her bed like a log. She let out a long sigh of relief.

Julie was on her laptop editing Preston’s videos, she glanced at her suspiciously, “Long day?” She probably had spent the whole afternoon sexing up with Nathan, the sigh didn’t sound like a good one.

Kelsey turned her head lazily, “Hhmm … he didn’t bring his A game today, and I was wearing my go to jeans and lucky thong … I guess it’s not so lucky anymore.”

Julie chuckled, “Why? What happened?”

Kelsey rolled on her stomach, “I don’t know, something was weighing on his mind, I think it’s probably work, he’s nervous for next week … the recruitment and everything … it’s starting to feel like we’re married.”

Julie nodded, “Yeah he does have a lot on his plate, he’ll be meeting up with all the vendors and the marketing team next week, it’s gonna be a lot of work.”

Kelsey rolled her eyes, “It seems like all he cared about is the restaurant now, I’m missing all that spark, you know, it was exciting back in Bhorma.”

“That was summer, it’s always exciting in summer,” Julie tried to make some sense.

“Exactly … I knew it wasn’t a good idea to prolong summer hook ups,” she complained.

“What? I thought you hit it off just fine? Please don’t tell me you’re going to dump him? ’cause I just submitted my application this morning, it would be so awkward to stay at his place for three months if you guys broke up,” Julie was panicking.

Kelsey paused for a moment, “No, it’s not like that … he’s a keeper, right?”

Julie raised her eyebrows, “Of course he’s a keeper, he’s the most responsible boyfriend you’ve ever had, he’s a future businessman, smart and mature, he’s a total keeper,” she complimented him.

“I’m glad you approve,” Kelsey was amused.

She stared at her best friend who was so caught up in whatever she was working on in her laptop. “How are things with you and Preston?” she asked.

Julie shrugged a shoulder, “It’s fine.” Trying to get her to talk specifics is like trying to pry open a can without a can opener.

“You never talked about it, ever since that night …” Kelsey studied Julie’s face, it was flat as an iron board. “So you’re back together now?”

That question finally made her wince, “Back together? We’re friends, Kells, we’ll always be friends.”

“Really? Even after what happened? You’ve finally forgave him and everything’s fine now? Like it was before? I mean … Did you talk about it? What did he say?” Kelsey was curious.

Julie furrowed her eyebrows, tilted her head slightly to see how interested Kelsey was on the topic. She closed her laptop and that made Kelsey’s face beamed. “He apologized on his birthday, you saw it and now we’re back being friends, and no … we didn’t talk about it, what for?”

“How do you feel about it? It was your first time and for the longest time you had a crush on him and he … obviously he had something for you too,” Kelsey wanted to have the conversation that they had postponed for a long time.

“I used to have a crush on him … I don’t anymore,” her voice went soft. “It was a bad decision, I should’ve known better … I guess I’ve come to terms that it was partly my fault, he is who he is and I made a poor judgement, anyways, I don’t even remember half of what happened that night,” she said, partly true.

“How drunk were you? You don’t remember any of it?” Kelsey didn’t buy it.

“Too drunk to realize that it was a bad decision, I remember it was him though … he was … I don’t wanna talk about it, Kells, I just want to forget about it,” she covered her face with both hands as the memories of that night started to form in her head.

“Ow! Come on! He was what? Was he good? I always wanted to know how he is in bed, well for obvious reasons … he’s a walking dick, and clearly he’s off limits for me,” Kelsey was not accepting Julie’s refusal to tell her story.

Julie threw herself back on the bed, she wanted to erase the memory of how Preston’s skin felt against hers, how their chest was pressed together, how he stripped her off her clothes without her realizing when it had happened.

She wanted to lie that it didn’t felt good when he touched her, that his lips didn’t fit with hers when they were locked, their tongues tangled with each other, and that his eyes were not looking into hers and there was no way they were too drunk to realize what they were doing.

“I’m not one to judge whether he was good or not, I have no one to compare him to, I guess the booze helped with the sting because it didn’t hurt as bad as I thought … it was just sex, Kells, one stupid drunken sex,” she said truthfully this time.

But she remembered how her heart was pounding against the walls of her chest. She struggled to decide whether to push him away, but every stroke of his fingers pulled her back in. When he whispered in her ear “God I wanted to do this for so long,” his face grazed against hers and he found his way in and then she was his.

She remembered how surprised she was of the way he felt inside her, the sting, the pleasure, the warmth of his breath when he was kissing her neck. They have never been that close to each other, and it felt a little bit like love. And that was why she had to forget, because a part of her wanted it to be real, and the other knew it was impossible for a guy like Preston to be able to commit to one person sexually and she could never accept that. It would take the rest of her life to wait for him to grow up, even then he might not be able to do it, and she doesn’t have the courage to wait.

“You have a strange bond with each other, I don’t get it, but I’m trying to understand … and then the sex, how are you not together?” Kelsey’s question interrupted her thoughts.

“It’s better this way, sex between us would complicate things … I’m not gonna be his fuck buddy, I can’t do that, I need a boyfriend … that’s what I need, and Preston is not that person, you know what I mean?”

Kelsey nodded, “Yeah, I guess I can see it from your point of view … to me sex is just fun, if you can have fun with your best friend … why not, you’re young and inexperienced, the more experience you can get the better.”

Julie shook her head, “I can’t … ”Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

Kelsey held her hand, “I know, I guess we’ll just have to find you a boyfriend … do you think he’ll ever let you have one?”

Julie laughed at the irony, “He will have to, that’s why I think I need to be away from him for a while, the internship thing might be helpful.”

Kelsey nodded again, she admired her for staying away from promiscuity, the kind of self-control that she didn’t have. Sex had never made it complicated for her, it was just sex. But for Julie it was sacred and Kelsey knew how big of a deal it was for Julie when she had done it for the first time. “I guess Nathan will have one more thing to do, he has to help me find you a boyfriend in Bhorma,” Kelsey suggested, they laughed.