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He reached across the small space between us, his fingers landing on my bare stomach. “I don’t know how you’re not taken right now.”
I didn’t know how to take that comment.
I definitely didn’t know how to respond.
And I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear his reply if I asked him to elaborate.
What I did know was that setting expectations for Jenner and me would make me vulnerable for disappointment.
In what could be.
In myself.
I just had to accept whatever this was.
Even if I had fueled it.
I took in his eyes as his fingers lowered to my hip, circling the small area.
“Do you wish you had siblings?”
I appreciated the change of subject, my brain needing a rest.
“When I was younger, no. But now, I do. And I have one-her name is Monica.” I grinned. “When you’re an only child, it’s fully acceptable to adopt a sister or brother, and she couldn’t be more perfect. She picks up after herself. She shares. She even cooks.”
He laughed.
I loved that sound.
It only encouraged me to keep going.
“No, really.” I clarified, “We live together so well, and she’s the most amazing best friend. I’m positive that no matter where we end up, it’ll be together.”
“Is leaving Miami on the table?”
I glanced toward the water again, a view I’d been admiring for the last four years. “I graduate in two months, and I have no job. The world is on the table, Jenner.”
“I assumed you’d stay here.”
I took the last sip and set the empty cup on the table. “If I take the job with the art dealer or the private gym, I’ll be staying, but I’m keeping all my options open. Our lease doesn’t end for another four months, so that gives me time to figure things out past graduation.” I paused as the waitress approached and ordered another round for us. “Be honest,” I said as she left, “is it strange to be hearing about this post-college-life stage? You’ve been established for so long. I imagine it’s been a while since you’ve thought about any of this.”
There were times when Jenner looked at me, and I could tell what he was thinking. I could read the thoughts in his eyes; I felt his energy. And then there were times when I was lost, unable to decipher a single thought.
That was where I was now-lost.
“Admittedly, it’s been a while since I’ve been in your shoes, but it’s interesting to listen about your journey and compare it to mine.”
My voice softened when I said, “Does it bother you?” I took a breath. “My age, I mean.”
He stared at me silently. “I never really gave age that much thought before you.”
“Because?”
I wasn’t sure if I’d regret that question, but I still asked it.
First, there was a laugh, followed by, “I think you know why, Jo.”
Because it was just sex before me.
Even if our future wasn’t defined or our destination wasn’t set, things with us had moved beyond sex.
That was where my brain went.
But my heart needed to confirm.
“Because I matter …”
“I think I’ve proven that to you.” He glanced toward the sand and back. “I’m here.”
I exhaled, the tingles now in my lungs and throbbing in my chest. “I didn’t expect to hear from you once I got home from Vegas.” His fingers hadn’t left my hip, and I intertwined ours together. “But having you here has been so fun.”
He stared at me but said nothing.
The tingles turned to a heavy ache.
“I’m going to say something that isn’t going to be easy.”
I hadn’t been able to read his eyes a few minutes ago, but I could now.
I could see his words as clear as the sky.
“If the circumstances were different …” I voiced.
He nodded, the movement appearing to almost cause him pain.
And now, that pain lived in me.
My throat was so tight that air hardly moved through. “I get it.”
That didn’t mean I accepted it, that I didn’t hate it, that I didn’t want to scream at what could be.
But Jenner hadn’t lied to me. He didn’t try to play me. He didn’t bullshit me.
He gave me truth.
And it hurt more than anything, but I understood.
How could we maintain something as magical as I wanted like this?
Different time zones, thousands of miles between us, my future so uncertain.
And those were just the things on the surface.
I had to be realistic about our situation.
But that certainly wasn’t going to stop me from enjoying the rest of our time at the beach and the following two evenings he had planned. It didn’t matter where we were or what we were doing. Jenner’s hands were never far from my body, his attention never straying from me.
I felt like the center of his world.
I relished in it.
On the morning when he was scheduled to leave, I woke up, naked on his chest, my fingers running through his patch of dark hair. Instead of heading for breakfast, we decided to order room service, and once it was delivered, he brought it out onto the patio, overlooking South Beach and the beautiful, vast skyline that edged the water.
As we sat next to each other, nursing large cups of coffee, I finally dipped my fork into the cream cheese and raspberry jam that had squirted out the side of the stuffed French toast, and I brought it up to my mouth.
“Mmm,” I groaned. “You have to try this.”Content held by NôvelDrama.Org.
I cut off a piece, the bite generous and dripping in maple syrup, and I held it out to him. As he surrounded the fork, I watched those beautiful, kissable lips and the bob of his Adam’s apple as he chewed. His beard had thickened in the last few days, the hairs becoming even softer as they lengthened. I touched them as he swallowed, his face almost nuzzling against my hand.