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“Amanda! Jesus Christ what do you think you’re doing! Come down from there” turning back slightly I saw that it was my mother that just entered my room.
“I’m tired of this house, I’m tired of you people” I muttered with a shaky voice, putting one leg out the window while the other one was still standing on the edge.
“I said come down from there right this instance young lady!”
I was standing on the edge of the window in my room already prepared to jump, I was mildly confident I wasn’t going to be able to survive the fall, afterall my room was at the very top floor. Already a suicide note was placed neatly on my bedside cupboard but I’m sure my mom hasn’t seen it yet.
“See this stupid girl o, so you want to jump and kill yourself so people will start pointing their fingers at me saying it’s my fault bah?. Ungrateful child!” A tear slipped out of my eye at my mother’s words. Of course Mrs George would always be self centered even till the very end, only caring about what others would think of her as a mother, and not how her own child thought of her.
Releasing a small sad smile I removed my other leg from the edge of the window and then I fell.
…
(END OF FLASHBACK)
“Amanda!”
I was jolted up from my sleep by a voice.
I rubbed my face with the back of my hand to remove the sleep from my eyes.
“Yes?” I responded although I haven’t gotten a good look of the person’s face.
“Are you okay?” It sounded like a male voice.
At the question I removed my hand from my eyes to see the person that was talking to me.
Who on Earth would be bothered about my well being?
“Amanda? Amanda are you hearing me” Frederick snapped his fingers in front of my face, a look of concerned graced his face. And yes you heard that right, it was Frederick the Golden boy of the school. Why on Earth was he here? In the library of all places? This was my safehaven so to say, and no one really comes here during lunch break.
“How do you know my name” yes great going Amanda, the first thing that comes out of your mouth had to be that.
A beaming smile slowly took over his face, he’s dimple’s shining ever soo brightly. Swoon. He was quite the looker if I do say so myself.
“We are in the same class Amanda, of course I know your name” he chuckled as if he found the question funny. I honestly almost forgot that we were actually really in the same class.
“Oh” was my bright response.
Abruptly a look of surprise took over his face. Confused I scrunched my face a little.
“Why are you crying?” He suddenly asked.
“I’m not cr…” I didn’t get to finish my statement because as I touched my cheeks just to confirm, it turns out that tears were actually on my cheeks.
Oh right almost forgot about ‘that’ dream.
“It’s nothing” I muttered.
He gave me an unapproving look like he didn’t believe a word I said. Once again he had that look that seemed like he knew something about me that others didn’t, like he knew more than he was letting on.
“What are you doing here?” Realizing how rude my question sounded I immediately used my hand to place it over my mouth. I mean he did have every right to the library as much as I did, it was a general library afterall. I’m just surprised he came here that’s all.
He didn’t look offended though as he spoke.
“Well I’ve been looking for you everywhere”
My eyes widened on their own accord at his words.
“Looking for me?” I asked just to confirm that I heard him right.
“Yes” he responded with a smile, he really was a cheerful person. Unlike me.
“Why?” Still not understanding the boy I asked.
“Because I wanted to ask you to be my friend”
Different emotions engulfed me all at the same time, confusion, disbelief and more confusion. Ok so it was more like only two emotions that I was feeling.
From Frederick’s question I wouldn’t be surprised if he was actually on some kind of high end medication.
(FLASHBACK)
“YOU’RE LUCKY to have been able to survive that fall young lady” the first time I heard those words from the doctor was the first time that I actually started believing that life was in no way fair.
Nobody wanted me, my parents sure as hell didn’t and now even death didn’t. I was truly unwanted.
Infact I was still wondering how I managed to survive the fall from my room window. Though I had a lot of broken bones and almost all my ribs were broken, I was still sadly very much alive. Was this some kind of sick joke or what?!
“Are you not going to say anything?!” My mother viciously growled out.
My silence continued, aggrievating her the more.
“See doctor I have a very important meeting to get to, so I will be leaving now” my mother getting feed up with me turned to the doctor and said.
“Is anyone coming in your place to stay with her in the hospital?” the doctor professionally asked adjusting her glasses a little.
“No. My husband is on a business trip out of the country, so he isn’t around. And even if he was I’m sure he wouldn’t bother to waste his time staying in the hospital with this insolent child, better yet he would have flogged the devil out of her” my mother huffed out with irritation in her tone.
Shock immediately masked the doctors face at her words. I couldn’t blame her my mother wasn’t really acting like someone whose daughter almost committed suicide. Once again that was Mrs George for you forever the uncaring mother. I know I should have gotten used to it by now but I just can’t stop myself from expecting something/anything from her. I thought this time around she might actually care enough that I almost killed myself. What a joke.
(END OF FLASHBACK)