Stand and Defend: Chapter 12
There’s no way in hell I’m sleeping tonight. Not after that. I’m pacing back and forth in the kitchenette of his bonus apartment. I feel more alive than I have in a long time. I’m energized and light and . . . fuck, I’m so horny. Some kisses you always remember: your first kiss, your first hot-and-heavy kiss, the kiss from your first love, and the one from Camden Teller. Dear god, no wonder women flock to him.
Cam: Sorry.
Me: I haven’t kissed anyone since Bryan. Just caught me off guard, that’s all.
Had I known a kiss from him would be like that, I never would have allowed it. Now that I’ve had a taste of him, I want to feel like this all the time. I want to feel invigorated, feel the blood pumping through my veins. It was cruel of him to make me feel so good, especially when it can’t happen again.
Cam: I’ll ask before I kiss you next time.
Why is he making this so difficult? I bring my fingers to my lips again and close my eyes, allowing myself to relive it. Sparks are firing throughout my body, and I forget to breathe as I recall the way his lips moved against mine. I saw stars. The brief kiss with Cam turned me on more than any sex I ever had with Bryan.Content protected by Nôv/el(D)rama.Org.
He has to know this was a mistake, one we can’t repeat. I wish things were less complicated . . . Damn him, I was fine before! I had no problem being in his vicinity, then he had to say all those nice things during our heart-to-heart earlier today. Honesty is so hard to come by these days. And all the stolen glances. And the kiss. Now what?
Me: There’s no next time. I can’t get involved with anybody right now.
That fucking kiss. It made me forget every ugly disaster in my life—it was pure bliss. I surrendered to the moment and actually let go for once. He tasted so good. I rummage through the cupboard until I find my precious bag of Sour Patch Kid gummies, then stuff a handful in my mouth. I need to get him off my tongue.
Cam: Who said anything about being involved? I’m just talking about a kiss.
Me: We need to keep things platonic. Just friends.
Cam: Friends can make out platonically.
Me: I can’t.
Cam: K.
My heart sinks a little. I don’t want to say no, but my brain says having a repeat of tonight would be a bad idea. My vagina vehemently disagrees. Our kiss was hungry and desperate and overwhelming.
Thankfully, I’ve already started looking for a new place to live. I need to put some distance between us. This was not supposed to happen. Until I move, I’ll lock myself in my room and never come out.
Cam: What time do you want to get your stuff tomorrow?
Ah, fuck. I have to see him tomorrow. Embarrassing as it is, I’m not chancing going alone. I’ll risk my pride before my safety.
Me: Can you meet me there at 3? I’ve got a couple apartment viewings, but I should be done by then. I’d like to get my things and be out as fast as possible.
Cam: I’ll be there.
I grab another handful of sour gummies and shove them in my mouth like popcorn as I walk to the bathroom. I need a cold shower.
Even as the cool water sluices over me, my body is red hot. I can’t get the butterflies to fly away. Twenty minutes later, my phone dings while I’m pulling on some clean clothes. Ones without his scent on them.
Cam: You’re a good kisser.
Is he still thinking about it too?
Me: Not my type.
Cam: You are so full of shit.
Me: Goodnight Teller.
Both hands come up and slap my cheeks. “It’s a stupid fucking kiss, Jordan! Get over it!”
I flop onto the bed with my arms open wide.
“I’m so full of shit,” I mumble. Fuck.