Rush: Part One & Two: Part 2 – Chapter 80
Luckily, Adrian and Gabriel are busy when I arrive in Monaco, which gives me time to find out what’s been going on with my best friend.
I knock on James’ door, who I haven’t heard from in days, and wait impatiently for him to open it. I’m concerned; he’s never ignored me like this. Adrian hasn’t seen or spoken to him either, which is odd. Something’s wrong, and I am going to find out what it is. James doesn’t have a choice, just like I wouldn’t if the roles were reversed.
When minutes pass, and there is no sign of life, I walk around his house down the path that leads to the pool area. The door which is usually unlocked is locked for the first time in years, and I groan as I climb over the gate. James is making this a lot more difficult than it needs to be.
I make my way toward the sliding doors that lead into his living room and can’t believe my eyes when I see James on his couch in front of his television. Why didn’t he open the door? Why is he ignoring me?
I knock on the glass, and his head lifts up. That’s when I get really worried. He hasn’t shaven in days, there are empty beer bottles all around him, dark circles under his eyes, and even from far away, I can see they are a flaming red. He’s either been crying or not sleeping, maybe even both.
When he sees me, he rolls his eyes and focuses on his television again. I know he wants me to leave, but I can’t, I’m too concerned. My fist keeps knocking on the glass, and I don’t stop until he opens the door.
“What the fuck do you want? Can’t you see I want to be left alone?” He’s yelling at me, and I know he’s angry, but I don’t think he’s mad at me. “Leave me alone, Valentina. Just leave me alone.”
He slams the door shut again, and I go back to knocking.
“Just go away,” he tells me when he rips it open. This time, however, tears fall down his cheeks, and he’s no longer furious.
“Let me in,” I beg, and he nods, his head falling in defeat.
I wrap my arms around his torso, ignoring how bad he smells: beer and sweat.Content from NôvelDr(a)ma.Org.
“What happened?” I ask in a gentle, low tone. When he doesn’t answer, I pull back and look at him. “Let me in,” I repeat, but this time I mean it in a different way.
“I’m going to be a dad,” he says and chokes on his own spit.
James covers his mouth with his hand before sinking to the ground, and I follow him. He’s silent for a long time, and I rub the back of his hand with my thumb in an attempt to comfort him. My heart is racing in my chest as I try to process this new information.
“How—” I can’t even finish phrasing the sentence before my voice cracks.
“About seven months ago, I was casually seeing this girl Annabel, and she came to my place on Thursday. She could not have been more pregnant, Val.”
He shakes his head, but I can’t comprehend anything he’s saying.
“I even took a paternity test. I really am the father, there is no denying that.” More tears roll down his cheek. “I’m twenty-three years old, I can’t be a father! This isn’t how it was supposed to happen. I’m supposed to fall in love with a girl, marry her, then think about expanding our family. This is not how it’s supposed to go.” James is yelling at me again, and I can’t hold back the tears leaving my eyes.
I’m quiet for a while until I find words.
“I know it’s not, but, James, you’re going to be a dad. You’re going to have a child that needs you, that relies on you. Even if you didn’t want this, it’s happening. This baby is going to love you, and you don’t have to do any of it alone. I’m right here by your side, Annabel is going to be there, and she is probably just as terrified as you are. And you have Adrian, your sister, and your parents. We are all here for you. But what you have to do is, well, first of all, you need to take a shower. You smell absolutely disgusting,” I inform him, and he lets out a laugh he doesn’t mean, I can tell. “Then you gotta stop drinking because it’s not going to make this go away. Afterward, you have to go talk to Annabel.”
He nods, and I take his other hand in mine.
“I got you, James. You know that, but now, you have to meet me halfway.” I get up from the ground and hold out my hand for him. He takes it, and I help him up too.
James tells me more about Annabel after he has finished showering and shaving. I find out she is from Monaco, has a sister, and didn’t tell him she was pregnant for six months because she didn’t want to ruin his life.
I can’t imagine what she must have gone through. Finding out she’s having a baby at twenty-two, unsure whether or not to tell the father because he just started his career, and then doing it all by herself must be terrifying. Her parents live in England, and she only has her sister here.
I want to say I don’t understand why she didn’t tell James earlier, but I can’t. Annabel must be scared, like James is. I am too, in a way, terrified for him. Other than being here, there is nothing I can do.
I wipe my face with my hands, thankful I didn’t put on any makeup today. James is in the kitchen getting some water, and I check my phone for any messages. I have three new ones, all from Gabriel.
Gabriel: I miss you.
Gabriel: I’m home now. If you want, you can come to my place or I’ll go to yours.
Gabriel: I love you.
I shake my head and smile at my phone. It soon fades when I realize I can’t go to his house. My first priority is to make sure James meets with Annabel and sorts this mess out. She’s due in two months, and they need to figure this out before then.
Valentina: I miss you the same, but I have to take care of something, mon amour. I love you, and I’ll let you know when I’ll be home.
Within seconds, Gabriel texts back.
Gabriel: If you need me, I’m here.
James walks back into the room with a glass of water for me.
“Will you come with me? I don’t think I can do this by myself.” I bite my bottom lip and think about his request for a brief moment. Annabel might not want me there, but I can tell he needs me.
“Sure,” I say, and he gives me a small smile.
Before I can overthink things any further, I get up from the couch and walk over to where his keys are.
Annabel knows we’re coming, and it takes us ten long minutes, which are filled with silence, to get there.
“Come on,” I tell James, who has been staring at the small home for a while.
I’m surprised by how well I’m handling this situation when all I want to do is scream. I’m scared of what is going to happen, how our lives are going to change, and about what James will have to do.
“I’m terrified,” he whispers, and I put my hand on his. I lift it to my mouth and kiss the back of it.
“I know. You don’t have to do this alone, I’m right here,” I reassure him, and he places his head against his headrest while he studies my expression.
“I love you so much. You know that, right?” He’s squeezing my hand, and I smile comfortingly at him.
“I know, and I love you. Now, let’s face our fear, yeah?” Once again, he only nods.
We walk down the short path that leads to Annabel’s house, and I knock on the door before James can change his mind.
I feel like throwing up. This is too much for one person to process as quickly as I’m trying to. I keep reminding myself of James’ feelings, and I have to continue to prioritize them. If I focus on mine, I might actually throw up.
A beautiful, very pregnant woman opens the door for us. Annabel has long, brown hair, and round lips. She takes my breath away, but I don’t know why. I might be scared of what she represents.
“James,” she says when her brown eyes find him standing awkwardly next to me.
I wonder why my best friend was only casually seeing her, but that’s a question for later when things have settled.
“Who are you?” she asks me, and I hold out my hand for her.
“I’m Valentina,” I say because I’m not quite sure what else to tell her.
“It’s nice to meet you. I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting someone else to join us, but please, come in. Make yourselves at home. I’ll be right there, I just have to run to the bathroom. This baby seems to think my bladder is a trampoline,” she jokes, and I smile at her.
She shoots James a quick grin before leaving the room.
“Maybe it’s that pregnant glow, but she is gorgeous. And she seems very nice,” I say to James, and he gives me a brief smile.
“Yeah, she is, I guess. I don’t know. She isn’t the one I thought I would end up having a baby with.”
He gives me a weird look, and I feel my heart skip a beat.
Oh.
“I had this whole dream in my head of how life was going to be, but now, everything is so messy,” he replies, and I frown. James looks beat, and I lean forward to rest my hand on his.
“I understand, I really do, James, but you gotta take a deep breath. This is reality, it’s not a fantasy, and saying it’s unfair won’t change what’s going on. Now, Annabel doesn’t need any more stress. I’m sure she has enough as it is.”
“Yeah, well, so have I. My life is fucking upside down, and I don’t want it. I don’t want any of it,” he yells at me just as Annabel walks back into the room.
I drop my face into my hands, and when I look up again, James has left the house while Annabel is standing in the same spot, tears filling her eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Annabel, ” I say and step toward her.
She waves away my apology and dabs her eyes with a tissue.
“Don’t be silly. It’s not your fault. I’m sorry for creating this mess. I never wanted to do this to him, which is why I didn’t tell him to begin with. Deep down, I knew this would happen,” she explains, and I help the pregnant woman sit down on the couch. “Thank you.” I smile at her.
“It takes two people to have sex, Annabel. This isn’t your fault. Accidents happen. I’m just sorry James is reacting like this.” I take a deep breath and look into her warm eyes. “I do understand why he is feeling this way.” She nods and takes a sip of her water.
“So do I, but how can I make this easier for him? I’m not forcing him to be involved in this baby’s life,” she says, and I take her hand. It’s not her responsibility to make it easier for him.
“It’s up to James now. There’s nothing you can do.”
After a while of Annabel and I talking about where she grew up and what she studied in university, James walks back into the room.
“Val, can you give us some time? You can take my car home,” he tells me, but I pull his keys out of my pocket.
“I’ll walk home. It’s not far,” I assure him, and he nods absentmindedly.
He’s not listening to me anymore, he’s focused on the woman carrying his baby.
“It was nice to meet you. If you need anything, feel free to call me, you have my number.” Annabel squeezes my arm, and I hand James his keys.
He gives me a brief kiss on the top of my head before I leave.