Once, my paranoid love

“Why can’t you love me?” Paul asked me abruptly. I moved my gaze toward him.

‘Why do I care for you? You’ve got Nikita and a lot of other females in your life. And in your life, I’m merely a bed warmer.’ I thought as I moved my gaze from him.

“Please, Paul, I’m not in the mood to talk,” I responded furiously. But Paul was not an easy boy; he would do whatever he wanted to. He rubbed my cheek and asked quietly, “Elena, do you want me to hit you again?”

“Then don’t be rude to me,” he continued.

I fixed my gaze on him. I didn’t want to be assaulted again by him because I was so tired. I drew my brows together and lowered my gaze. Paul asked, “Now tell me, do you know Ron?”

‘This lunatic will not forget about it.’ I thought as I inhaled deeply and then added, “I’m not familiar with him. He was the one who approached us.”

“Could you please return to your room now? I need to sleep,” I added.

He unbuttoned his shirt while saying, “Elena.”

“W-what are you doing, Paul?” I said, and my voice trembled when I saw him unbuttoning his shirt.

“Nothing; I’m only doing what I have to do,” Paul said.

“Paul,” I murmured, my voice shaking.

‘Should I run?’ I thought as I took a quick look at the door. But Paul snatched my hand and yanked me into bed.

I glared at him sternly because I made a promise to myself that I would not be afraid of him anymore, but still, my heart started beating fast when I said, “Paul, please.”

“Listen to what I’m saying, Paul. Just a moment, please.”

I attempted to stop him. He gave me a stare but didn’t say anything. I had to put a stop to him. So, I extended my hand and lightly caressed his cheek.

I said, “Paul, could you just be normal like you used to be?” He widened his eyes in astonishment but still had a stern glare when he heard me.

He asked, “What do you mean?”

“I’m talking about your paranoia disorder,” I said.

He said, “What are you trying to say, I’m a crazy person? I have a mental problem?”

“No, no, you misunderstood me,” I hastily said. “I’m talking about your anger problem and doubting the loyalty of others,” I said.

“Anger? So you’re saying my reaction to you is unjustified?” He asked, his voice rising.

“No, please listen,” I said.

‘Oh my God, this is getting out of hand. Convincing him is another level of challenge,’ I thought as I took a deep breath.

“Paul, I want you to be normal again, like you were before, like my little Paul,” I pleaded.

‘If you can change yourself, Paul, I will forgive you and forget all you did to me because I desperately want to see my old Paul again.’ I pressed my lips together while looking at him. His ocean blue eyes locked on me.

His voice became soft and low. “Elena.”

“Please go to the doctor. I’m not saying that you’re crazy or something. I’m saying that you have certain issues about which you don’t believe others,” I stated. “If you do that, I promise we’ll run away from here.”

“Really?” Paul said, his eyes twinkling. Paul added again, “Will you really leave with me?”

I nodded in the affirmative. “Then, Elena, I’ll go to the doctor tomorrow,” Paul remarked cheerfully. When I noticed Paul becoming convinced by my words, I smiled at him. From childhood, Paul was so intelligent and smart. His IQ level was so high that if he invested his capacity in his life, no one would beat him to success. I would talk to my dad about taking him into our business.

“I’m very delighted, Elena,” he said, hugging me like a baby and placing his head on my chest. I was afraid he was going to force me again, but thank goodness he didn’t.

I started stroking his hair, and after a while, I noticed he had fallen asleep.

While stroking his hair, I started thinking about my mother. ‘Please, Paul, get well soon. I lost my mother, then my father gradually let go of my hand, and then you changed yourself. I’m fed up with everything. I just want things to go back to normal, especially our relationship.’

While thinking, I didn’t know when I would fall asleep, but then I woke up hearing the chirping of birds. I peeked out the window, wondering why the morning was so much fresher than other days. I looked at Paul and saw that he was still sleeping. It was understandable why girls try so hard to impress you. They would fall in love with you just by gazing at you. I let go of his grip and went into the bathroom to take a shower.

After taking a shower, I went out and looked at Paul. I didn’t wake Paul because it seemed he was soundly sleeping, so I went downstairs. As I went to the dining hall, I found Dad and Anne having their breakfast. My eyes filled with tears, seeing my dad there.

“Good morning, baby,” my dad greeted me.

“I heard you were staying with your friends last night? But you are at home, honey,” he added.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

I ran towards him and embraced his warmth.

“Dad.”

I called him out in a tearful voice. An unknown torment surrounded me in a second. Dad patted my head and asked, “Honey, what’s the matter?”

“I’m here, right?”

Anne glared fiercely at them. ‘Why did Pom say she was with her friends?’ Anne thought as she looked at Pom.

“Elena, please don’t cry. Did you fight with your friends?” Dad asked me.

“Dad, I’ve missed you so much,” I sobbed.

“I missed you too, honey,” Dad replied with a smile.

“Dad, promise me you’ll never leave me alone again,” I said. Dad caressed my head.

“All right, honey, when I go out next month, I’ll take you with me,” he said.

“But, what’s up with your forehead?” dad asked.

“It’s not a big deal, dad. I just bumped into something,” I replied with a slight smile.

“Next time, please be careful, baby,” dad said. I nodded cheerfully.

Dad urged me to breakfast with him, saying, “Now come and join me.” I wiped my tears away and locked my gaze on Anne.

Anne welcomed me with a phony smile that I understood in a second and said, “Good morning, baby girl.” I rolled my eyes and turned away from her.

‘Bitch, I’m going to kill you one day. You have the audacity to ignore me.’ Anne tightened the fork when Elena ignored her completely.

Anne abruptly stood up. “Where are you going?” Dad asked.

“I’m simply going to look around Paul’s room. I need to get him up for college.” Hearing her made me choke.

“Elena,” Dad said as he passed me the glass of water. Dad rubbed me on the back and said, “Are you all right? Honey, take it carefully.”

“Are you okay, Elena?” Anne said. Her eyes were wide with confusion.

“Y-Yes, I am,” I stammered out.

“I’m going to college, Dad. I’ll be back in a few hours to have lunch with you,” I said. All I wanted to do was get out of there as quickly as possible. I didn’t want to be in this awkward situation any longer.

***

Anne looked at Elena’s path with a stern face; it seemed she guessed what Elena was trying to hide. After Elena left, Anne made her way to Paul’s room.

“What the heck did he do with the room?” Anne was irritated by the state of his room.

“Pom, what is this?” Anne became enraged.

“Ma’am, Paul Sir, doesn’t like it when we touch his belongings,” Pom said fearfully.

“What? Are you making a joke? Pom, what do you do? What happened to the other maid?” Anne asked.

“Ma’am, she tried to clean the master’s room, but he kicked her out. And he-.” Pom stopped and glanced down while speaking.

“And what did he say?” Anne asked.

“And he said that only Elena Ma’am was allowed to touch his personal belongings,” Pom stammered.