Once, my paranoid love

Paul lay on his hospital bed, his eyes fixed on the bland ceiling as the sterile environment of the hospital room enveloped him. His mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, and the events of the past few days had left him exhausted and emotionally drained.

Suddenly, the rhythmic beeping of machines was interrupted as a ward boy approached his bedside. He whispered softly, his voice filled with a sense of urgency, “Sir.”

Paul’s attention was instantly drawn to the door. A sense of anticipation gripped him as he waited for the ward boy to speak further.

“Sir, your mother wants to talk with you,” the ward boy said, his voice carrying the weight of the message he bore.

Without a moment’s hesitation, Paul sprang from his bed, his heart racing with a mixture of emotions. He dashed to the front door of his hospital room, eager to hear his mother’s voice.

“Give me the phone,” he requested, his voice filled with a sense of urgency as he extended his hand.

The ward boy handed him the phone, his eyes reflecting a hint of hesitance. “Here, please do so as soon as possible,” he urged, the urgency still evident in his tone.

Paul took the phone, his hand trembling slightly as he brought it to his ear. “Mom,” he said, his voice filled with a mixture of emotions.

On the other end of the line, his mother’s voice trembled with emotion. “How are you doing, my baby? It’s been a long time since I’ve heard your voice,” she said, her words punctuated by the tears that had started to flow.

His mother continued her voice breaking as she recounted the events of her day. “You know, today I went there. And that jerk and that witch kicked me out of their house. I spent the entire day at the police station,” she added, her bitterness evident.

Paul was listening carefully to her but actually he had no wish to hear her blabbering. And also she again called Elena as a “bitch”.

“Honey, I’ll talk to the doctor,” she offered, her eyes reflecting the worry etched across her face.

“You can’t do it. He’s Derek’s guy,” Paul responded, his voice trembling slightly with the weight of the decision he had made. He couldn’t let his mother wade into the treacherous waters that were threatening to consume him.

A brief pause hung in the air before his mother inquired further, her voice laced with curiosity, “Then?”

Paul’s gaze shifted to the ward boy who had delivered the phone.

“I know someone who can help,” Paul declared, his voice tinged with a mix of apprehension and determination. He had a plan in mind, and the ward boy, though seemingly insignificant, was now the lynchpin in this desperate gamble.

“Later, call this number. I have some work,” he instructed his mother, his tone laden with a sense of urgency and purpose. After delivering this cryptic message, he hung up the phone, leaving his mother with more questions than answers.

With a heavy sigh, he handed the phone back to the ward boy, who had observed this exchange with a mix of curiosity and trepidation.

Paul’s eyes bore into the ward boy as he inquired emphatically, “How much do you want?” The situation was dire, and there was no room for ambiguity or hesitation. His heart raced as he awaited the ward boy’s response.

The ward boy, who initially appeared bewildered, finally asked, “What are you talking about, Sir?” He attempted to maintain an air of innocence, perhaps unsure of the dangerous path he was about to tread.

Paul’s response was a smile, though it carried an undercurrent of urgency and insistence. “Don’t put on a show,” he urged, “Simply state your amount.” It was clear that Paul was willing to pay a price for the help he sought, and he needed the ward boy to understand the gravity of the situation.

In response, the ward boy offered an innocent smile, hiding the depth of his involvement in the unfolding drama. A nod, a shared understanding, and the die was cast.

**

Lucy had been checking on me, concerned for my well-being, but my mind was preoccupied with a secret I had been harboring. It was that night, the night I had forgotten to take my birth control pills. Thoughts of the potential consequences loomed over me, casting a shadow on every interaction.

I couldn’t help but fix my gaze on Derek who was oblivious to the turmoil brewing inside me. The guilt of keeping this from him gnawed at my conscience, but I wasn’t ready to confront the truth just yet.

In the midst of my silent contemplation, Lucy abruptly called my name, snapping me back to the present. “Elena,” she said, her voice filled with concern and curiosity.

“Yes,” I replied quickly, trying to mask the unease that had settled in my heart. My gaze shifted to Lucy, who, in turn, fixed her eyes on Derek. It was clear that she had something important to discuss.

“I’d like to speak with her alone. I’ll have to check on her more,” Lucy insisted, her voice unwavering. Her concern for my well-being was evident, and she believed there was something amiss.

Derek wasn’t about to let me out of his sight during this vulnerable moment. “I’m her husband,” he asserted, a hint of defensiveness in his tone. “You are free to ask whatever you want in front of me.”Copyright Nôv/el/Dra/ma.Org.

Lucy, however, remained steadfast in her request, her eyes locked onto Derek’s. There was a determination in her gaze, a sense that she needed to uncover the truth, regardless of the circumstances. “Derek,” she said, her tone pleading for understanding.

“Derek, please,” I interjected, flashing a reassuring smile and blinking to convey that I was alright and that he could leave us for a moment. It was a silent plea for his trust, a moment for me to share my secret with Lucy, one that I couldn’t bear to keep hidden any longer.

With a reluctant nod, Derek acquiesced. “Okay, I’ll wait outside,” he said, his voice carrying a hint of concern as he walked out of the room. He left me alone with Lucy.

“Elena,” before Lucy could utter a word, my anxiety and fear got the best of me, and I blurted out, “Am I?”

Her response came with a simple nod, but the impact was profound. My heart seemed to stop, the world around me fading into insignificance. It was a moment that would change everything, a revelation that left me reeling.

As I sat there, contemplating the enormity of what I had just learned, a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions swirled within me. What now? What was I going to do? How on earth would I broach this subject with Derek?

Lucy’s voice broke through the deafening silence, her concern evident as she asked, “What are you thinking? Should I tell him-?”

But I couldn’t let her finish that thought. Hesitantly, I interrupted, “No, I’ll tell him.” It was a decision I had to make for myself. I couldn’t escape the responsibility of revealing this truth to my husband, no matter how daunting it seemed.

Lucy, understanding the gravity of the situation and respecting my choice, nodded in agreement. “Okay, then you two can talk about it. I’ll be waiting for your phone call,” she said.

With that, it seemed as though Lucy had left, leaving me alone with my thoughts and the weight of my revelation.

I placed my hand on my belly, a subconscious gesture, as if seeking comfort from the life growing within me. The realization that I was carrying a child, his child… it was our child.

**

Lucy emerged from the room after what had felt like an eternity, leaving Derek fraught with worry. His voice trembled with concern as he questioned her, “What’s the matter?”

Lucy, her face etched with both empathy and anticipation, could only offer a brief response. “Talk to her. She’ll tell you everything,” she urged, not waiting a second longer. It was a moment of truth that couldn’t be delayed any further.

Derek’s mind raced with concern as he tried to fathom what had transpired in that room. “Is there something wrong with her?” he wondered, anxiety gnawing at his thoughts.

Without hesitation, he pushed open the door, determined to confront the unknown. Inside the room, he found me, Elena, sitting there, a mixture of emotions playing on my face.

Derek rushed over to me, his concern etched into every line of his face. His voice trembled as he inquired, “What did she say, Elena?”

I found myself unable to respond immediately. My gaze fixated on Derek, and my thoughts whirled within me like a turbulent storm. What should I say? Would he still accept me once he heard the truth? I couldn’t bear to be a burden to anyone else, and the fear of rejection loomed large.

What if he couldn’t handle it and requested an abortion?

“Elena,” he urged, his concern growing by the second.

My response was absent-minded, a distracted.

“Hmm.”