Once, my paranoid love

“Elena,” Derek’s voice reached me, but it felt distant, a mere echo against the backdrop of my racing thoughts. His hand offered stability, but my gaze was fixed on the unfolding tragedy before me.

Paul’s sudden shove was like a cruel jolt, tearing him away from my grasp. I watched in agonized slow-motion as he tumbled down the cliff, disappearing into the cold embrace of the river below. “Paul,” I gasped, my voice barely audible, a plea lost in the vast emptiness of the precipice.

The world blurred around me, and a sickening sensation settled in my stomach. The edges of my vision wavered, and I clung to Derek’s hand as if it were the only anchor in the storm.

“I know you love me and will always love me,” Paul’s words echoed in my mind, a haunting refrain that reverberated in the hollows of my heart. The memory of our recent embrace, the warmth of his kiss on my cheek, clashed violently with the image of his abrupt departure.

I was caught in a whirlwind of conflicting emotions, a tempest of grief, regret, and disbelief.

“I want a girl like you,” his voice lingered in the air.

The admission, coupled with the pain in his eyes, carved a searing ache in my chest. “I know I hurt you, but believe me, I hurt myself when I felt how much I hurt you. It’s just… I couldn’t control myself.”

The weight of his confession pressed on me, the burden of shared pain and fractured love. His push, both physical and metaphorical, left me standing on the precipice of a reality I couldn’t comprehend.

As I staggered with the mental discomfort of witnessing my love’s fall, the air felt heavy with the unspoken words.

Paul’s descent into the abyss left me grappling with a profound sense of loss, and the tears that welled in my eyes blurred the boundary between the river below and the cascade of emotions within me.

“Nooo,” I wailed, the sound torn from the depths of my soul.

“I won’t let you go,” I whispered to the emptiness, a futile plea that lingered in the air.

**

The car idled in the present, but my thoughts raced back to a moment that shattered my world.

He abandoned me, and the weight of that truth pressed against my chest, stealing the air from my lungs.

He abandoned me, and he abandoned me forever.

I can’t even see him even if I try, I can’t hear his voice even if I try, and now I can’t even say I love him.

Nobody will listen to me.

Why do you let me face this, God, when I try to move on?

Why do you always put me in such a dilemma?Exclusive content © by Nô(v)el/Dr/ama.Org.

Then, like a cruel juxtaposition, the past surged forward with a swoosh, flooding my mind with memories of a time when promises held the magic of eternity.

“We’ll stick together, Elena. I swear, I’ll build a house like this. Then there will be you and me,” Paul’s words reverberated with a smile, a vision of a future.

“It’s you and me.”

The abrupt return to the present snapped the memory like a taut rubber band, leaving me gasping for air in the wake of what once was.

Tears streamed down my cheeks, each drop carrying the weight of love and loss.

“I love you, too,” I whispered, the words a bittersweet confession that hung in the air like a fragile melody.

**

Three and a half years had passed since Paul’s absence cast its long shadow over Elena’s life. Mr. Robert, her father, thrived, and Derek had assumed control of the family business, steering it toward success.

Amidst the echoes of time, Elena found solace in a peculiar place-Paul’s room at the company he once managed.

The first time she entered, memories flooded the room like a bittersweet tide. Photographs of her adorned the walls.

Everything dangled there, suspended in a time capsule of their past. Paul had decorated the room with meticulous care, filling it with all her favorite things.

Elena, despite the passing years, couldn’t bring herself to make any changes.

She claimed it as her own, a quiet tribute to the love that lingered even in his absence.

She spent hours there, immersing herself in the memories etched into every corner. It became her refuge, a place where she could feel close to him.

In the midst of her solitary visits, another presence had come into their lives-their daughter, now three years old.

In a poignant twist of fate, Elena might be named her after Paul. But the irony lay in the fact that it was Derek, not Elena, who had given her the name Paulina.

Derek knew from the beginning that Elena’s heart belonged to Paul, a love that surpassed any connection she could forge with him. He understood the depth of her emotions, the unwavering loyalty she reserved for the man who had left an indelible mark on her soul.

Yet, as a husband he harbored no complaints, accepting his place in the shadows of a love that lingered beyond the realms of the present.

Devotion became Derek’s mantra, a commitment to both Elena and the little beacon of light they named Paulina.

However, the passage of time had wrought profound changes in Elena. The incident, Paul’s untimely death, had left an indelible mark on her heart and mental well-being.

The once vibrant Elena had become a mere echo of her former self, lost in the labyrinth of her own thoughts and submerged in the tears that flowed like a silent river.

The transformation was stark. Her moments of solitude multiplied an isolation that shielded her from the outside world. Cries, both audible and those stifled in the recesses of her soul, became the haunting soundtrack of her existence.

She sought refuge in the cocoon of her own grief, withdrawing from the reality that seemed too harsh to bear.

The pain had manifested into a plea for escape, and she reached a point where even her marriage to Derek became a burden too heavy to carry.

She requested a divorce, a desperate attempt to free herself from the entanglements of a life that felt increasingly unbearable.

Concerned for Elena’s well-being, Derek sought professional help.

Despite Derek’s unwavering support and the efforts of medical professionals, the darkness that enveloped Elena’s soul refused to lift. It was as if the shadows of Paul’s absence had cast an unyielding pall over her, turning her into a prisoner of her own mind.