My Love for You Broke Me

Chapter 132

Since the beginning, all I wanted was just a faithful, unwavering relationship with a man I could spend the rest of my life with, but I never thought that it would be this difficult. I had been through so many ups and downs and experienced so much heartache and sorrow.

I even chose between Christopher and Nicholas; now, I had to choose between Nicholas and Shawn.

I kept making choices, cutting up my unwavering love again and again, but that was never the wish of my heart!

Christopher was merely my teenage dream, and I had already awakened from it nine years ago.

Meanwhile, Nicholas and I missed out on each other in the end. Now, I only had Shawn left.

When we were together, I knew that he had no feelings for me. Even so, I still chose him, giving up my tolerant self as I boldly confessed my love to him. He never said that he loved me, and even told me he didn't love me. Despite that, I chose to be with him.

I held on to him with all my might, just as I did to Nicholas three years ago.

In order to have the happiness which I craved, I did my best to give, even if it was futile.

At Nicholas' question, I chuckled and answered, "Shawn pampers me, satisfies me in every aspect, gives me security and reliance. Next to him, I never have to worry about getting bullied by others!"

Even though there's no love involved in between, I added silently.

The rain battered harder, and Nicholas asked me calmly, "Then, does he love you? Ree, no one knows you better than me. All you want is love, and I can give you that."

After years of getting along with each other, Nicholas had become the person who knew me best, and I let out a heavy sigh. "Nicholas, there was love between us before, but after all we've been through… Many things are beyond my control. While I'm sorry that we missed out on each other, I'm grateful that you gave your life for me without hesitation. If anything happens in the future, I'll also help you out with my life! But I can't leave my love with you because I have given it to another man, and I can't crawl back to your side simply because he doesn't love me."

If that were the case, I would even look down on myself!

"Renee, you'll definitely regret this," he said and left.

I stood on the spot for a long while before driving back to my apartment.

Back home, I cried my heart out for Nicholas, and more so for myself! I had loved him before, and it hurt me to tell him those things earlier. At the same time, I was afraid of hurting him, too.

However, if I didn't make a clean break now, it would only cause more trouble in the future.

After I had cried enough, I took off my drenched clothes and bathed in the bathroom. While I was soaking in the tub, I received a text from Nicholas.

'Ree, you're the most committed woman in love that I've met. When you're in love with someone, you could give him your all and even go after him without complaints or regrets! But you're also the most stubborn woman who hates with all her heart. When you hated me, you told me that you had forgiven me although you had already decided to draw the line between us! In this world, it's not that one cannot do without another specifically. Just like you've chosen Shawn now, many people can't understand why you could fall in love with him so easily just like that, but I can understand. That's because he gave you something I don't have: commitment, protection, and the so-called strength! But I can't give up and still yearn for you, and I want you. I can't lose you again!" he wrote.

The person who understood me the most in this world was none other than Nicholas, and he knew exactly why I fell for Shawn. It came out of nowhere, and neither was it just a spur of a moment!

I didn't write back, and not long afterward, he sent another text. 'Meeting you is my biggest joy and trial in this life. No matter who's the person you love in your heart, I won't admit defeat! Ree, wait until I'm treated and give me the chance to have a fair competition with Shawn.'

Wait for him to be treated because he's fighting against the other personality within himself. Published by Nôv'elD/rama.Org.

After hesitating for a long time, I didn't reply to his texts in the end, and the things the old butler, Jim, said kept replaying in my mind.

If it was true as he said that I wasn't from the Felix Family, then who was I?

Was he full of lies just like Quinn?

I decided to set aside the questions in my mind as I soaked myself in the bath and didn't get up until I was ready. Suddenly, I felt lonely, thinking there was no difference in my life whether I had a man or

not.

Then, I grabbed my phone and checked my WhatsApp. Olivia had sent me a video, which was a recording of Christopher's musical accompaniment, and I happened to know the girl in the video with him—Emma.

In the video, she wore a white t-shirt while singing, and her voice was very melodious as she sang 'Colors of the Wind'.

However, the version she sang was not the English version but a remake in fifteen languages.

Mandarin, Japanese, Korean, Spanish, Italian, Polish, and others. Among them, French and Polish were the best. Accompanied by Christopher's piano piece, the song was so beautiful that it sent shivers down the spine. Indeed, she was a talented girl!

After I replayed the song three more times, I forwarded the video to Emma, and she replied nonchalantly, 'A good friend of mine who's studying music has a sore throat because she fell sick. When she found out that I was on vacation, she kept asking me to take her place to sing. I thought that this song would turn out great if translated into different languages and gave it a shot. Unexpectedly, the response is quite good.'

I'd just finished reading this text when she sent another one. 'I even met Christopher Forger. He's more good-looking in person than in videos.'

That was needless to say, as there was no question about Christopher's looks, and he looked just the same as Nicholas.

'So you guys are acquainted now,' I replied.

'I don't know him. I was called over at the very last minute. We didn't even rehearse, and I think he was stunned that I suddenly appeared on the stage. After singing, I took a plane to Poland directly and planned to stay a few days before going to Venice, Italy,' she replied.

'Have fun on your travels.'

After that, she didn't reply to me anymore, and I didn't know what Olivia wanted to convey by sending me this video. I brooded over it for a long while and sent a question mark to her. 'Why did you suddenly send me this?'

'Renee, I met this girl once when I went skiing in Europe the last time. I heard that she's still underaged.'

'Why?' I asked.

Was Olivia suspecting that Christopher liked Emma? It couldn't be so far-fetched, could it?

After all, there was a fourteen-year age gap between both of them. Furthermore, Emma just said that they didn't know each other.

'I'm amazed by her singing.'

For a few seconds, I hesitated. 'Why are you suddenly showing this to me? Olivia, are you trying to tell me something?'

It took her a long while before she finally answered me. 'Chris is on his travels again, and I didn't chase after him all over the world now. It's just that I was a little envious when I saw this video by chance yesterday. I'm envious of that girl on the stage and everyone around Chris. Of course, I'm missing him a little as well.'

It was only a couple of months when Christopher appeared in my life, and I rejected him repeatedly. But, as he knew how to advance, he naturally knew how to retreat as well. So, he was merely returning to his previous state of life.

"Travel the world and meet the people."

In my mind, I suddenly remembered the phrase he said before. Christopher Forger, what an elegant gentleman you are!

I pondered his words and the situation before answering her earnestly. 'I understand you, but I'm not Christopher. So, I can't control his mind! Olivia, if you really miss him, you should look for him when the weather is fine and lovely outside, regardless of how it will end up.'

Ironically, there was a blistering thunderstorm outside now, and there was no 'fine and lovely' weather at all, but I just wanted to encourage her with a quote from the Internet.

'Thank you, Renee,' she replied.

After I read her reply, I wanted to set my phone aside when I received a text from Kevin. 'You didn't follow Sunny back to the Xenos Manor?'

'No, I didn't.'

'You really are something else. You are the only one who isn't worried.'