#1 — Chapter 30
Liliana
By the second day of being back in Chicago with no phone call from Rocco I lose hope. There must have been some accident, there shouldn’t be a reason why he isn’t calling. No one can be that distracted.
The only conclusion I can come to is that something went terribly wrong. Maybe Antonio died and Rocco was so out of his mind angry that he went on an impulsive suicide mission and attempted to kill all the Bratva soldiers working for my father.
I want to stay in bed all day, I don’t want to move or eat. I just want to lay here where I can still smell Antonio’s scent on his side of the bed.
Arabella and Carmelo have been keeping me company and staying in my bedroom while I sleep. Carmelo left to bring us food while Arabella takes a quick shower. I enjoy the alone time but soon realize the silence is deafening and the thought of never sharing this bedroom with Antonio again is like a stake to my heart.
I must’ve drifted off to sleep because I wake up to the sounds of Arabella and Carmelo’s voice in my room.
“I called my cousin and told him Rocco and Antonio are either being held hostage in New York or are dead. He’s going to temporarily take over as Capo.”
“Good, the men were getting worried. A moment like this ant greedy bastard would take advantage and swoop in to take Antonio’s spot,” Carmelo replies.
“Stefano is a humble, honorable man. He’ll do a good job keeping everyone in check until they get back.”
“If they get back,” Carmelo sighs. “I bet New York is in chaos too.”
My voice cracks when I begin to talk, “We need to talk to Angelo.”
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” Carmelo says warily. “I know he’s next in line but he’s now basically deaf and still weakened from the attack. We don’t even know how permanent his injuries will be. They’re not going to accept a broken Capo.”
I shake my head. “Angelo is strong, he can do the job and he can do the job better than my father ever did, or Luca ever could, even without the use of his ears!” I noticeably get upset.
“Okay,” Arabella says softly. “We can still talk to Angelo. Even if he does decide he wants to take over as the New York Capo, he’s still on bedrest and won’t be able to leave. They aren’t going to take orders from an injured Capo who isn’t present in their city.”
They were right.
The only reason the Made Men in New York obeyed my father was because he made them. He was a ruthless leader who wouldn’t hesitate to kill his best friend if they double crossed him. He didn’t even hesitate when attempting to kill me.
“We can go today,” Carmelo looks carefully at me. “Are you up for leaving the penthouse?”
“I don’t know,” I fidget with my fingers. “But maybe seeing my brother will do me good. Has anyone notified him about my father and Luca?”
Carmelo and Arabella both look at each other and slowly shake their head no.
“Then I will be the one to tell him.” I realized then I would also have to tell him that mother was dead. “Carmelo, I need you to do something.”
“Anything.”
“My father told me he got a new wife and that she was pregnant with a son. I need you to find out who she is and if Stefano is the new Capo now… well then I need you to tell him about this news and make a decision because in eighteen years that boy is reliable to want to take his spot as Capo.”
“I’ll let him know,” Carmelo nods.
“Good,” I stand from the bed and feel a dizzy spell happening. I close my eyes and steady myself with a hand on the nightstand. “I’m going to get ready and then we can go.”
“Do you need help?” Arabella walks toward me with her arms somewhat out as if to catch me in case I fall.
“No, I’m fine.” Just dehydrated and starving.
Looking through my wardrobe I pick an outfit that conceals my bump. There are still enemies of Antonio roaming around and I don’t want to fall victims to our enemies again.
I feel safe with Carmelo and Arabella at my side and being reunited with them reminds me of old times. Reminds me of how the past few months were spent favoring their company over my husband’s until recently. Now I want more than anything to Antonio with me.
Angelo has been healing well, his eyes are no longer swollen and the bruises are starting to turn yellow. He’s still in his casts and still suffering from a concussion, but you could never tell if he’s in pain-that is if he’s in pain-because he always has a small on his face.
“How is my niece or nephew doing? How was New York?” He Asia and I break down.
I can’t stop the tears leaking down my cheek or the choked sob coming out of my throat. How am I going to tell him everything?
“What’s wrong? What happened?” He looks over at the doorway to see Carmelo and Arabella lingering by. “Where is Antonio?”
“In New York,” I shake my head. “Or dead. Father, he-he betrayed us. He was going to kill me and Antonio, Antonio saved me though. He killed Dad and Luca.”
Angelo blinks, his eyes still staring at my lips. “I don’t think I read your mouth correctly. Slow down.”
“Dad and Luca are dead. They betrayed the Famiglia. Dad killed Lorenzo and tried to kill me and Antonio. He also killed Mom. Mom is dead.”
Angelo closes his eyes and shakes his head rapidly. “No. No. Fuck! Fuck, Liliana. Are you alright?”
“No. Antonio is missing and I don’t know if he’s alive and it’s killing me,” I wallow in my own depression.
Angelo rips out the IV on his arm and starts to stand. He wobbled nearly falling over but Carmelo and Arabella rush to help him stand as do I. We all hold him up as he fights against us. “I got it!” He shouts. “I have to go to New York. I’m next to be Capo, I have to claim my power!”
“You can’t go anywhere!” I try to grab his attention but he isn’t reading my lips. He’s shrugging us all off of him and walking toward the drawer where his clothes are.
“I’ll heal in New York. If I stay here in the hospital, they will think of me as weak and never again will I be called weak,” a fire ignites in my brother. “I’m leaving. I’ll send a text you I get back.”
I frown standing still while a tear slips out of my duct. Angelo is the only family I have left and now he’s leaving me to run a place that I used to call home but now want nothing to do with due to bad memories.
Angelo catches my sad gaze and sighs. Slowly he strides over to me and wraps his arms around me, I hear him wince in my ear. “Liliana, everything will be okay. You said Antonio is New York?” He pulls back to read my response.
“They have him, the Bratva or Dad’s men I don’t know, but he’s either being tortured or he’s dead.”
“I’ll find him,” he says with certainty. “I will claim my right as Capo and my first order of business will be to bring Antonio home.”
I sniffle, “Thank you.” I hold him tight.
Angelo never struck me as Capo material. Luca always did and maybe that was because I always knew that one day Luca would be Capo. The only way Angelo would’ve been is if Luca died without children. I never thought that would happen. If I did imagine one of my brothers dying it would be Angelo because his heart ruled over his mind. Angelo is strong, but he cares. Luca never cared, he only cared enough about himself to keep himself alive.
I was getting used to having Angelo in Chicago and maybe I would be okay if it weren’t for the fact that Antonio won’t be here either. At least I got Arabella back from that horrible city.
The doctors enter and try to persuade Angelo to stay but Angelo does what he wants and being a Made Man he always gets what he wants. So, everything goes his way. He packs back in his apartment and gets the private plane to take him back to New York.
Once again, an empty feeling emerges in the pit of my stomach. I feel tired and weak from my loss of energy, I know I should eat but the thought of food makes me sick.
***
Laying on Antonio’s side of the bed I lift up my shirt and rub my stomach. I allow my mind to wander on what life will be like in four to five months. I’ve always had a girl’s name picked out since I was little and while I love the name and would definitely pitch it to Antonio-I find myself thinking of the name Antonia in memoriam.
Carmelo has offered to help me transform one of the guest bedrooms into a nursery but it didn’t feel right, maybe as time gets closer, I’ll let him help me out if I have none. I asked Carmelo if I could keep the penthouse if Antonio is hypothetically dead. He told me that it’s paid in full and the money is his account would go to me and I would be set for life. He told me I could move if I wanted but told me not to because he knows in his heart that his Capo is alive.Têxt belongs to NôvelDrama.Org.
For a nursery I want lilac painted walls and a white furniture. I want her name spelled out in wooden block letters on the wall and I want a picture of her daddy on her dresser.
I’ve always wanted to be a mother, I think it’s also because I always knew I was going to be a mother. Men in the Famiglia expect children and that also explains why Luca was out of his mind mad at Arabella-although it’s no excuse. I’m excited to be a mother and to have someone to love and love me back. I’m going to do it right, I’m going to do it differently than my parents did. I never expected I would be having a daughter, I guess I always assumed I would be having boys-heirs for my husband. While I would love a mini-Antonio, I’m over the moon happy it’s a girl. I’m going to let my daughter have freedom and future that she chooses.
“Hey,” Arabella knocks on the door and enters. She notices my exposed stomach. “I know I’m not technically your sisters-in-law anymore, but I’m still the kids aunt, right?”
“Yes, you’ll be her godmother,” I smile.
“Her? It’s a girl?” Arabella sits on the edge of my bed and squeals. She reaches her hand over to touch my stomach placing her palm flat against my belly button. “I’m so happy for you. Hell, I’m so happy for me. I’m going to have a niece!” Her smile quickly fades when she sees me struggling to keep the happy expression on my face. “I’ll help you, you know? I can play Daddy whenever you want. I’m… I’m here for you, Lily.”
“Thank you,” I place my hand over hers.
Carmelo enters and brings in Chinese food for all of us. I didn’t expect to be hungry but as soon as I spot an egg roll, I automatically crave it. I reach for it and down it within seconds.
Carmelo, who has taken his own seat on the bed opens his box of lo mein noodles. “If you want more egg rolls I can order more. I’m just so happy to see you eating.”
I give him a guilty expression and he simply smiles and punches in the order on his phone. I use my stomach as a tray for the food and dig in.
“How is the little one?” Carmelo asks. “Do you want me to take you to any appointments or those classes that pregnant ladies go to?”
“Everything is fine. I don’t have an appointment until a few weeks from now and no it’s fine.”
“Okay, but if you ever want to go to those classes I can go with you.”
I give him a kind smile that tells him how much I appreciate him. He’s become so much more than my bodyguard. I hated him at first, hated having a guy follow me around wherever I went, but now…
Now I can’t imagine going anywhere without him.
Or Antonio, my mind likes to point out.
The egg rolls arrive in record time, but that’s expected when people see the name Moretti. I ate every single one and even craved more, but I didn’t want to bother Carmelo again. The bed is trashed with Chinese takeout boxes and the stench of egg rolls, teriyaki sauce and Arabella’s sweet and sour chicken fill the room. We’re all too full and tired to move, so we don’t and on Antonio’s king sized bed we all fall asleep.
***
“Darling, I’ve barely been gone and you’re already inviting people into my bed?” That familiar gruff voice wakes me out of the deepest sleep I’ve had in days. I scramble out of bed and rub my eyes to make sure I’m not hallucinating.
Antonio.
I rush into his open arms and he picks me up and spins me kissing me in the fever of passion. I press my body flush against him wanting, needing him as close as he could possibly be. Through the kiss I taste the saltiness of my tears dripping down. Antonio pulls back with a dashing smile and wipes the tears away.
“I thought you were dead!”
“So did I, the Bratva captured us, twice, Rocco and I got free though. I will always come back to you; do you hear me?” He grabs the nape of my neck. “I couldn’t leave you alone, especially not when I haven’t gotten the chance to welcome my daughter into the world.”
I cry out in happiness and press my lips once more against his. He tastes like mint and smells like spice, his skin is rough under my fingers but his scars don’t bother me one bit. I open wide enough for Antonio to slip his tongue in and claims my mouth the way I have always loved.
“I guess that’s our cue to leave,” I hear Arabella whisper to Carmelo and within seconds I hear the door shut.
Antonio lays me on my back on our bed and crawls over me. I notice new scars on his arms and his face-including the soon-to-be new scar from the black thread stitched onto the side of his face going from the end of his eyebrow down to his cheekbone.
His lips trail over my collarbone as his hands work to unclothe me. My own greedy hands roam under his shirt to feel his abs and strong pecs. My fingers trail over thin lines from knife wounds and circular wounds from bullet holes. My man has been through so much, yet he is here with me-alive!
This doesn’t seem real. I need him more than I need my next breath of oxygen. Our kissing is sloppy and rushed but I can’t slow down for him, not by a single second. I throw his shirt over his head and off his body as I thrust and grind my pelvis against the growing erection in his pants. I rub myself on him getting the denim of his pants wet with my arousal.
Antonio groans in the base of my neck and fumbles with the belt of his pants. I help him push the pants down to his ankles and urge them off his body. I don’t want a single scrap of clothing on either of us. I want him on top of me and crushing me with his body heat.
I wrap my arms around his back and dig into the skin slightly with my nails. I’m hyper aware of the missing pinky on my hand that I’m still getting used to living without. It could’ve been worse, I tell myself.
I buck my hips against him sliding my wet heat against his erection. We both moan and already I’m seeing stars. I lift my hips and beg for him to fill me. In one powerful thrust he is inside of me and I scream out nearly convulsing already. The orgasm building at the base of my spine is a ticking time-bomb ready to go off at the slightest touch and feel of him.
Antonio removes his head from the crook of my neck to stare into my eyes. His dilated, lust filled ones bore into mine in the most erotic and intimate way. I can’t look away as I part my lips and let out a breathy moan. The sensations were enough to send me off the edge but just looking at Antonio and knowing it is him with me in this morning completely throws me into an ecstasy-filled abyss.
I struggle to keep my eyes open as my body convulses and my release stretches on until Antonio’s rhythmic thrusting turns into rut and he spills himself inside of me with a heavy sigh. He leans forward and rests his forehead against mine. We breath the same air between us and refuses to dislodge from each other’s bodies. I hold the back of his head and lift my lips to meet his.
“I love you,” I breathe out.
He smiles. “I love you too.”
I lay on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. “I was so scared,” I whisper as he plays with my hair. “So scared that you weren’t going to come back. Scared that I would have to live without you.”
“You would be able to live without me.”
I frown. “It would be hard.”
“That’s not the Liliana I know. The Liliana I know would be the best mother to our daughter because she wouldn’t let her be a captive in this world like you were. That Liliana would leave and have a new life and join that online college and have a career. You’d take care of her. You’d be fine and then you’d forget about me and your B. J. would come along.”
I smile but once again my eyes turn into a faucet. “I wouldn’t forget you. How could I ever forget you, Antonio Moretti?”
He kisses my temple. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“I know,” I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss his lips.
We stare at each other a long time and I find that I start memorizing his face, every scar, every blemish, every birthmark and every hidden color of yellow, green or amber is his brown eyes.
“You are my B. J.,” I say before drifting off to sleep.
“Hmm?” His fingers move in a vertical line up and down my spine.
“You once told me weren’t that type of man, but you are. In the show B. J. does everything in his power to just make it through every day in the war so he can get back to his wife and daughter in San Francisco.”
Antonio is my B. J., it just took a while to figure it out.
***
Sofia makes a big breakfast in honor of Antonio’s return. At the table is Arabella, Carmelo, Rocco, Antonio and I. Everyone is focusing on enjoying the waffles piled on with fruit and syrup but I can’t help but stare at Antonio or Rocco.
Rocco look beaten up with a black eye and a few stitches himself. I notice him squinting his eyes and flinching at loud noises, he probably has a concussion.
“How did you make it out alive?” I break the silence and everyone ceases their eating.
Rocco looks to Antonio who answers, “Your brother saved our lives.”
“When Angelo landed, he texted me and asked if I had any information as to what warehouse you were held hostage in. I messaged him the address and the next day Antonio was home,” Arabella says.
“Knowing the address of the warehouse told him which group of the Bratva worked there from spy reports in the Famiglia. He got in contact with one of the Russian Bastards tortured him into telling him where they kept us,” Antonio replies.
“He’s a very efficient Capo. I like him better than that son of bitch, Marco,” Rocco stabs a piece of his waffle and shoves it into his mouth.
“Angelo was waiting in the car, he can’t do anything with the casts but his men saved us. Angelo took us to the hospital to get checked out and then sent us home to Chicago.”
Now that sounds like the brother I know.
The table goes silent again and everyone picks up their forks to continue eating. I realize now that I hate the silence, not hearing Antonio’s voice for the days we’ve been apart have taught me how much I love hearing my friends talk. I’d rather hear them run their mouths all day then to never hear a single word uttered again.
Antonio reaches under the table to grab my hand. The same hand with my missing pinky. I feel disgusted and cringe slightly when he skims his finger over the nub left. He rubs over it again and I know that he’s telling me it’s okay, it doesn’t disgust him.
I lean over and kiss his cheek before stuffing my face with Sofia’s wonderfully made breakfast.
When we finish eating and congregate in the living room. I feel like my family is whole, aside from Angelo and his absence. I might have lost my mother, father, and brother but here I’ve gained a sister, a husband, a brother-in-law, a best friend and soon-to-be-daughter. Antonio and I sit on the couch, I stretch my legs out over his legs as he rubs my calves and feet. Rocco is sitting in the chair talking to Antonio while I look over to see Arabella and Carmelo on the loveseat, she’s whispering something in his ear that makes him laugh as well as blush.
I rest my head against Antonio’s shoulder and listen to the growing conversations of my friends exchanging stories. Rocco has a few good ones about Antonio that make me laugh so hard I almost end up choking. Arabella counters with a few embarrassing childhood stories of Rocco. Carmelo stays quiet and I can’t help but notice his lingering eyes on Arabella and I wonder if, now that she’s single again, if they’re hooking up again.
Rocco excuses himself when the clock hits seven saying that he has business to attend at the Famiglia’s club. While saying our goodbyes to him I notice Arabella and Carmelo have disappeared. I don’t linger on that thought too much when I realize I’ve finally got Antonio alone.
He scoops me into my arms and takes me upstairs to our bedroom. We lay down tangled in each other’s limbs and lazily kiss each other as if we have all the time in the world to do just this.
“I think we deserve a proper honeymoon,” Antonio tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear.
“Yeah?” My face lights up. “Where would we go?”
“Italy,” he says with confidence and confirmation. “We should go to Sicily and see where our grandparents came from. I have a cousin who wouldn’t mind renting his guest house to us for a week. It’s on the water.”
“On the water, huh? Does that mean we can go skinny dipping?” I smirk and roam my hands along his body until I cup his groin and massage gently.
“Such a dirty mind,” he sounds breathless. “Definitely not as shy as you were when I first met you. Scared little thing you were,” he pins me against the bed and moves his thigh in between my legs and I start rubbing against it. “Greedy,” he murmurs between kisses.
“Is that such a bad thing?” I close my eyes and arch my back into his touch.
“Mmm,” he sucks on the skin of my neck. “Never. I like you insatiable.”
We strip each other until there is nothing keeping our skins from touching. He feels warm against my body and his mouth heightens my senses in the best way possible causing me to shutter underneath him. I press my body hard against his and hold onto him with all my strength.
A sensation in my stomach causes me gasp and sit up quickly. Antonio grabs my waist and furrows his eyebrows, a worried expression washes over his face. “What’s wrong?”
“The baby,” I rasp.
“Is something wrong? Do you need a doctor?” He nearly jumps out of bed but I grab his wrist and move his hand to my stomach.
“She moved.”
“She moved?” His mouth is parted with curiosity and he sucks in his breath in anticipation for her next little summersault.
“It was brief. It was just a little fluttering, nothing like kicking,” I hear those come a little later in the pregnancy-probably next month I’ll feel her feet against me.
“Wow,” he whispers. “I can’t believe we’re having a baby.” He keeps his hand on my stomach as he kisses me with gentle tenderness.
“We’re having baby,” I smile and Antonio breaks out into laughter holding me in his lap and a rubbing his arms up and down my back.