Loving Quinn Novel by North Rose

(“Quinn)

Trauma Trigger Warning

Then next morning as I am stepping off the elevator to head to my office, the first thing I hear is an irate female voice. I know that voice. If she is here, then I know who she is yelling at as well. Shaking my head in amusement, I head to my office first. Aaron is on his own for now

“Good morning. Did you get those files I asked you for?” I ask my assistant as I reach her desk.

Sherry, a very nice grandmother of three, smiles up at me. “They are on your desk next to your morning newspaper and coffee.”

“You are a saint. Grace had an attitude this morning, so things were a little hectic at my place. However, from the sound of it, they are hectic here too. How long has Rylan been here?”

“About ten minutes.”

I glance down at my watch, judging by how long she has been here, I have about five more minute before she slugs him or storms out. After giving Sherry a nod, I head into my office to put my briefcase on my desk, remove my suit jacket, then head over to Aaron’s office.

As I get closer to his office, everything goes silent. The last thing I heard was Aaron telling Rylan to shut the hell up. Since I didn’t hear, the sound of her fist connecting with his jaw, I can only assume she complied. That isn’t like Rylan at all, so I step into the doorway to make sure my friends are ok.

What I see makes my eyes widen and my jaw open in shock, Well, I am not really shocked, more like surprised Aaron finally made his move. Took him long enough.

He has one hand on Rylan’s back, and his other hand is on the back of her head to hold her in place. By the way she gradually relaxes, I can tell she is not opposed to the kiss. Which is something I have known for some time now.

Rylan has had a crush on Aaron for years. He has just been too blind and stubborn to see it. With a shake of my head, I back out of the doorway and silently make my way back to my office. This is a moment between them that doesn’t need a witness.

When I get back to my office, I take a long drink of my now lukewarm coffee. There are reports to look at and calls to make, so I get busy with the phone calls first. My first call is to the architect that helped us design the outreach shelter, Andrea Thurston. I let her know that our plans have changed since she gave us her last design.

That was for an existing building were planning to refurbish to our needs. Now we will need to build from scratch. Much to my surprise, she readily accepts the challenge. Andrea says she will incorporate her original design into the new building so that everything we wanted will still be possible. I thank her for accepting the challenge, then end the call.

Aaron and I talked about the problem with the design after our meeting with Evan yesterday. It will push our timetable back until Andrea reworks her plans, but with our other projects still in the works, this will give us plenty of time to find a contractor for the new project. I have hope that Max will accept my offer.

By taking me u

up on my offer, it will get him out of New York and away from the devastating situation his wife and best friend put him in. He will also be closer to his family while he deals with the end of his marriage and what his next steps will be. I meant what I said to him about paying for his crew’s travel and living arrangements while the construction is ongoing.

Though the living arrangements are already taken care of. G&C Enterprises owns several apartment complexes in the area that we let our workers live in. They pay for the utilities, cable if they choose, and their food. Rent free is a big sign-on bonus for most construction workers, add in their hourly pay, and we tend to have happy workers.

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Besides, I don’t know any New Yorker who wouldn’t enjoy an all expenses paid trip to California for a job.

So, my next call is to our corporate attorney, Gavin Wyatt, to have him draw up a contract for Max, as well as individual contracts for the crew. He thinks he can persuade fifteen of his crew to join him here. I tell Clavin to draw up twenty contracts just in case he can convince

more to come

As I end the call with Gavin, Aaron walks into my office. There is a scel on his face, which doesn’t surprise me at all. He has been in denial about his feelings for her for way too long, is it had that I am rager in watch my best friend full at Rylan’s feet in defeat?

“How did it go with Rylan? You are not bleeding, so I can only assume you two had a civil conversation for once?”

He plops down on the leather sofa across from my desk along the wall, the lets out a deep sigh before he ensations flow through his eyes like water in a raging river. I have never seen him so shaken before.

my eyes. So many wild

“I don’t like that woman, Quinn. There is something about her that just irritates me to no end. Yet, I kissed her like I was drowning, and she was the air I needed to breathe. One minute she is calling me an insensitive baboon, and all I could think about was how much I wanted her to shut up. The next thing 1 know, my mouth is on hers and my mind went blank”

He rises to his feet as anger ashes into his eyes

“I don’t want this. I do not want this, Quinn, Rylan works at the hospital now, but that is as far as my interactions with her are concerned. Now, if you don’t mind, I am going to go spend some time with my lunch date.”

Before I can respond to him, Aaron storms out of my office, leaving me to figure out how to help my friend. He is fighting his emotions, and it is ugly. How long can he fight how he feels about Rylan? I can see what he won’t admit to himself.

Aaron is attracted to her, but it is more than that. I think the reason he is fighting his feelings for her is because he is afraid to face any emation deeper than the superficial ones that he shows the women he dates. If he allows that to happen, it will open the floodgates to all the other emotions he has suppressed over the years.

Darker emotions.

Sadness, shame, emptiness. Those are emotions I felt in the past for the things that I did for my country. Not everything I did from my country under the idea of peace was good or heroic. There were many times after a mission that I felt despair after the dust settled and i saw the innocent lives that were destroyed.

Emptiness, depression, and fear. Those were emotions I felt after I can home from each deployment. I lived my life while all those memories, images, and sounds playing on a loop in my head every night. Sometimes I felt completely empty, hollowed out, barely human. Then other times guilt of being the one to live while some soldiers I fought beside didn’t make it home.

Survivor’s guilt is what my last therapist called it. Why did I survive when others died? Why me and not them? I lost many good friends over the years. Each one I keep with me in the leaves of my tattoo. Names and dates are all they are to some, but to me they are so much

more.

To me, they were my friends, my fellow soldiers, my brothers and sisters in arms. I will never forget any of them. Ever.

Breaking myself from that dark path my mind went down after Aaron left, I stand up from my chair. I think it is time to do what I promised Annie I would. I grab my jacket, briefcase, and keys before I walk out of my office.

“Sherry, I am going to be leaving for the day. I don’t think Aaron will be back, either. When you are done with your current task, you can leave for the day as well. I will pay you for the whole day. Tell Grady the same thing.”This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

“Is everything ok?”

“I am not feeling well, so I am going to go home. Aaron’s parents are coming into town tonight, so he is probably going to make sure all This plans for them are still in place. You two have a good weekend, and I will see you on Monday.”

21:29 Fri, Sep-13-

Sherry nods her head. I give her a small smile, then head to the elevator, I need to get my head in the right place before my date with Annora tonight. All these thoughts and emotions running swirling around me like a dark cloud threatening to suck me into the void.

So, when the elevator doors close after I get on, I call my therapist to see if he is free to see me. It has been almost a year since my last session, but he usually has Friday afternoons free. All I can hope for is that he will agree to see me,

in hour later

“Can you tell me what has been going on in your life since we last met Dr. West asks.

“I have a daughter. Grace is her name.”

West’s eyebrows rise in surprise. I can’t blame him for that. There was the time when I expressed to him that I never wanted to have children. It was after a particularly bad day and memories of that last day with Dionne were running through my head.

What she put me through made me believe it was good for me in the long run. I was feeling sorry for myself and strongly believed that I would have been a horrible father to our child. With Grace, I know that isn’t true.

“She is eleven. Her mother was my first love. We met before I went off to bootcamp.”

“How did you learn about her?”

I give him the short version of how Annora and I met again, how she told me about Grace, and how we agreed to co-parent. He asks me how that has been going, so I tell him how those first six months went, then I delve into how our relationship is developing now.

“It see

seems like things are going well for you. What brought you to me today? Where did those dark thoughts come from?”

I start with the conversations with Alex and Vivien. My father. All the feelings that were brought to the surface about my mom. That leads me to tell West about my nightmare and the subsequent conversation with Annora after I woke up. All those emotions were still with mq this morning, but under the surface.

Then there is my best friend.

2

“Aaron. He is struggling with something, and it got me thinking.”

“What is he struggling with that put those kinds of dark thoughts in your head?”

A woma

West gives a slight chuckle. “How are you and Annora? Have you been able to talk about your struggle with her?”

I

“Briefly, I promised her that I would go back into regular therapy. I was planning on calling you to set that up, but work hen keeping

me busy.”

“We can work on getting you to where you can talk to her about your PTSD triggers when we resume our sessions. I will have my assistant set up a schedule with you that works for both of us. Now, let’s get back to what caused today’s trigger.”

I tell him about Aaron and Rylan at the office. How my best friend is struggling to let her in. He asks how and why that got to me. As I break down my thought process for him, he makes some notes, asks more questions.

“All those thoughts and emotions are hard ones to resolve. We worked through many of them before you ended our sessions. Do we need to start from scratch or pick up from my notes?”

I think about that for a few minutes before I answer him. I am in a good place in my life. G&C Enterprises is thriving. My relationship

with Annota and Grace is growing stinget by the day. However, after sharing the memories of the bomb, I know it could be beneficial to go over those feelings from the past.

“What if you briefly touch base on the ones that we think we resolved, see where I am now, then go from there?”

West nads his head. We spent the next thirty minutes talking about what I was feeling in the office today after Aaron left. When we get to a good stopping point, be closes his notebook and leans forward in his chair. His eyes are soft when he looks at me.

“The changes in your personal life have been big ones. Normally, I would say proceed with caution, but I think you are more stable now that you were when we last met. We will pick this up again on during your next session.”

“That you for seeing me on such short notice, West,”

I was told you were on the phone, I knew it must be something serious, so I made the time. Stay calm, and we will talk soon.”

After leaving his office. I feel calmer than I was when I left mine hours ago. I am happy that I have progressed as far as I have, One thing! know for sure is that had 1 met Annora again when I was at my darkest point, we would have imploded.

Dionne, for all her faults, helped me. However, she was also the catalyst that propelled me into that dark void I ended up in two years ago, I want that woman out of my life and I hope it happens sooner rather than later.

West helped me find my way out of that pit. There is no way I want to go back to the way I used to be. I have too much to live for now and too much to lose.

My family. The one that I finally feel I deserve to have. Thanks to Alex and Vivien Winters. They welcomed me into their family with open arms and made me feel worthy of their approval.

I will do everything I can to not let Annora, Grace, or her family down

I am worthy of love.