Living With The Player

**CAMILLA RENÉE**

CAL-U

9:42 AM.

I half expected a shocked expression over Miranda’s face to mirror mine, but when I ducked my head back, she was nothing but annoyed. She didn’t see him.

Did I imagine him? Negative. I know what I saw. I’m sure of it.

“Camilla. Are you okay?”

Jimmy asks, reaching for my arm. No.

This is confusing enough. I recoil at his touch, folding my fingers together.

Miranda glares extremely hard. Oh God, my head is spinning. The entire environment is spinning.

“Jimmy, why don’t you give Camilla a tour of the university?”

It’s my turn to glare. I already know every inch of the place.

Before any protest can spill out from my mouth, Miranda tugged me towards him, revoking the tiny amount of space I put.

“Camilla, may I talk to you a second?”

Again, she’s jerking me off without waiting for an answer.

“What is wrong with you? Jimmy is great! Why don’t you want Jimmy?”

I lace my fingers in my hair.

*Why don’t I want Jimmy?*

Right. I don’t want *boys*

“Nothing. I’m taking a break from dating.”

“You only dated one guy, and that’s Kyle, and he cheated and all…”

She stops herself, cringing at her words, and I can’t help but feel it’s not Kyle betraying me that struck her so much.

It’s my turn to narrow my gaze. Miranda met him. Hell, she kissed him hard. Was that all? Did I miss something in between the eight months of sulking?

“Then another thing happened with the guy you never dated…”

I snapped my head, dissolving the thoughts of Kyle. Later. I’ll think of that later.

“He used me.”

I interject, clutching my fist.

“There’s no sugar coating. It’s no use trying to make it feel better. He used me. End of story.”

Pity. Oh great, now she’s pitying me.

“I saw him. That’s why I got knocked off for a second there. I think I saw him.”

I flutter my eyes shut and let the images fill my head. Squeezing them harder, I try not to let him invade my thoughts.

I fail.

Once I recall the black jacket I saw him in, white T-shirt on the inside, hair trimmed a little but still wavy, silky, and *sexy* that’s not all I recall. I remember that night. The rain. His last kiss. His explanation. The tears. The screaming. I recall it all.

Once I’m done, I blink back and sniffle.

“I thought you said he would not go here.”

Miranda’s breath quivers as well.

“He wouldn’t. He just wouldn’t go to Cal-U. Maybe it’s in my head. Maybe I pictured him.”

I shudder. I’ve kept him off my mind. In the back of my head, it’s still there. I’ve been suppressing everything, but I’m this close to bursting.

After graduation, I didn’t see him. We didn’t speak for over five months. For my birthday in February, I half expected a card. Big mistake on my part. I cried even harder.

I chuckle softly. My parents occasionally spoke to him, but I made up every excuse not to speak to them. I just couldn’t stomach it.

He chatted about moving to New York. Soccer players would thrive there. California isn’t New York, so maybe I just envisioned him.

*Keep telling yourself that.*

My subconscious blurts, doing a little ridicule dance inside of me.

“Camilla.”

Miranda draws both my hands. I forgot she was even there.

“I get how this must be hard for you, but you’re certain he would not go here. Maybe you saw someone who looked like him. Regardless, that will not pass as an excuse not to have fun. At the very least, take a tour with Jimmy.”

“But I already know the place. Every inch.”

I whine. Miranda narrows her gaze, then rolls her eyes.

“Be the fucking tour guide, then. Don’t test my patience, Renée, I mean it. I’ll shove this finger up your ass if you do.”

“Gross. You’re disgusting.”

She winks.

“Its appalling how many men get off on that fantasy”

“Which? Ass finger shoving girls?”

I joked, my lips twitched at the corner. A second passes and we’re laughing our heads off. A few other heads turn in our direction and I tuck my hair away, flushing out.

“I’ll see you at the dorms later.”

I smiled, giving her a small nod before leaving.

Jimmy hasn’t moved an inch. He just stands there, checking out something on his phone.

“I want to be best friends with her, so she teaches me how to make you laugh like that again.”

Again. I chuckle deeply. Has everyone noticed how dark I became?

“Too bad she already has a best friend and just so you know, I made both of us laugh.”

“I see.”

He replies, receiving another chuckle.

“You need the tour more than I do, so let’s go.”

There’s another tour guide for all students, but I’ll fill in for him today.

****

CAL-U is fascinating. The faculties look like they were just built even though the school is decades old.

“So, Camilla, what are you majoring in?”

Jimmy asks. We’re almost done circling.

“Psychology. Science.”

I clarify.

“So, are you already trying to profile me?”

I chuckle.

“I profiled you months ago, Jimmy.”

“People change.”

He defends feigning offence

“You didn’t.”

I chirp in.

“Okay then. Humour me. What’s your profile?”

I duck my head and grin. This feels like my first patient.

“I think that you’re a guy who feeds off humour. Maybe it’s been your way of getting out of unpleasant situations in the past.”

“That’s quite an accurate profile. That’s All You’ve Looked at?”

“I’ll prefer to keep the others to myself.”

I answer, nibbling on my bottom lip.

He chuckles, sliding various fingers in his hair.

I swallow hard because there are too many creases he didn’t fix.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

I answer quickly and look away.

“You know, I keep thinking about what would’ve happened if I had gotten your number that night.”

I scoff.

“I know what would’ve happened. You will try to make contact and I’ll ignore all of them until you give up.”

“That would not be fair.”

“Why?”

I turn to him.

“That reaction will be based on someone’s mistake that night. Your current self is based on someone’s mistake that night.”

I freeze.

He’s not wrong. He’s not right either.

“You know nothing about that night.”

My fists are curling of their own accord.

“I don’t. I only think I know, but you haven’t made a move to clarify anything yet.”

Now he’s completely right.

“But if there’s one thing I’m sure of, you’re attracted to me.”

My eyes are balling.

“W-What?”

“You heard me. You’re attracted to me.”

He chirps.

“I’m attracted to you…”

I point back at both of us, then giggle.

“You’ve stuttered and repeated it instead of denying it straight up. That’s a sign, Camilla.”

I frown immediately.

“You do not know what my indications are.”

Third eye roll.

“What’s your major? ”

I ask switching the topic.

*Am I attracted to Jimmy though?*

“Psychology.”

He smirks. My jaw is on the ground.

“You didn’t think to mention that this entire time? Have you been profiling me?”

I pause, placing both hands on my hip.This text is property of Nô/velD/rama.Org.

“I asked first, and you didn’t ask back. No, I haven’t been profiling you. Not at first.”

He winks.

Oh fuck. That was smooth. I didn’t think anyone could pull off a smooth wink. Anyone else except…

Not a chance in hell. Don’t think of him.

“Well, then this tour is over.”

“Don’t be annoyed.”

He’s chuckling deeply.

“I don’t see what’s funny.”

I glared harshly.

“Oh, nothing. I’ll walk you back then.”

I hiss low, strolling back to my dorms.

“Your number Camilla. I am not missing this opportunity before something screws things up.”

Still frowning, I punch in my cell number and storm off.

****

“Thank you, Camilla. I had a lot of fun today.”

“Of course.”

Forth eye roll.

“I mean it. Since we are in the same department, I will see more of you.”

His smile is alluring. I’ll give him that.

I pressed my back against the door. Suddenly, he’s leaning in. This is the closest we’ve been facing each other. A nice scent as well.

Are they any disadvantages for him?

Wait, he’s going to kiss me? Hell no.

His face inclines elsewhere, his lips gently brushing against my cheeks. He pulls back completely, grinning widely.

“I’m glad your demeanour is better after what happened earlier. It must’ve been hard.”

“What are you talking about?”

I furrow my brows, suddenly confused.

“Dylan Emerton was at the Orientation. I figured that’s why you got all bleak, because you saw him?”

Oh no. The air is gone again. I was right. I was fucking correct. It wasn’t a figment. Dylan was there. Jimmy stood behind me and he saw him.

“Camilla?”

“Good-Bye Jimmy.”

I whisper. My voice is barely audible to my hearing.

Before he could protest, I click the knob, slid into my room, and shut the door.

“Ooh! Tell me everything!”

Miranda is inches away. I bet she’s been waiting for my return all day.

My face is pale. My hands are sweaty. My mind feels fuzzy as well. I’m not sure what to make of this.

He was here. Why?

“Camilla?”

Her tone switches from anticipation to worry.

“Dylan was here. Jimmy confirmed it.”

I spit out, then stroll over to my bed. I can’t do this right now.

******

*Author’s Note*

*A little change because of the time difference in my location. It’s going to be one chapter before midnight Singapore time, then another chapter before noon Singapore time. Enjoy!*