Jack Of All Trades (Erotica)

He grabbed his suitcase and the ski bag and rushed out into the living room. SennLann jumped up to give him a kiss. The kids were all playing in the living room and were deep in play mode. Zaina and Adina spotted the new color on his horns and squealed excitedly. They rushed over and leapt up into his arms to climb onto his shoulders to touch the color. He felt them both sliding their clever fingers over the shiny surface.

“So pretty Papa!” they purred in unison. The silky texture obviously triggering their unity.

“Thank you! Papa has to go so down you go,” he said happily.

They scrambled down and gave his cheeks a kiss on the way by.

He bent down and gave Emily and Joseph a kiss and they went back to playing.

Jack looked around for Diana but she was nowhere to be seen.

“It’s ok Jack. I’ll let her know you said goodbye,” Eve said gently.

Frowning he nodded and rushed out of his apartment lugging his stuff with him.

He normally spent an hour or so with Diana after she had one of her episodes just to ensure she knew he was there for her but today… he sighed. Eve would have to bring her back to herself.

There was a taxi waiting for him and he jumped in. The flight to the Gate Terminal was short but when he rushed in he saw two impatient looking ebony Altarians glaring back at him. Their glares faded as they took in the new look of his horns.

“What did you do?” Gee gasped.

“I did what you told me to do! I washed them. The damn stuff hardened and went all smooth!”

“Cold water? You washed them in cold water?” she asked calmly.

Jack blinked at Gee. “What? No, I took a hot shower…”

The two Altarians shared a pained look.

“So I should have used cold water?” he asked in exasperation. “How the hell was I supposed to know that?”

“We are late! Can we go now?” Bal said with a partial scowl as her eyes kept slipping up to his gleaming black and red horns.

They grabbed their suitcases and ski bags and walked up to the customs and security agent.

“Oh my god!” the agent gasped gawking at his horns.

Jack looked at Gee. “This isn’t permanent is it?” Gee just shook her head so Jack wasn’t sure if she was answering him or was just disappointed in him. Again. He pouted.

Bal slapped a palm on the countertop and the agent jumped. She apologized and asked them their destination.

“Chrystan,” Bal said tersely.

The agent’s eyebrows rose. “Chrystan?” she asked in disbelief.

“Diplomatic visit,” Jack offered and she went all dreamy eyed when she faced him again.

“Yes, the last Gate on the left,” she purred to him and he smiled at her.

His escort pushed him away from the desk and set course for their Gate.

“Wait! Should we put on our warm coats before we leave?”

“Chrystan’s Gate Terminal should be warm enough and we’ll change when we get there,” Gee explained.

Jack hadn’t had time to do any research on the planet or the people and felt totally unprepared. He froze in place and the two security agents looked back at him in frustration.

“This entire trip feels off. It’s too rushed. I’m not prepared! I don’t know the Shreen! I might do something embarrassing or diplomatically disastrous! What if I pick my nose and that turns out to be a declaration of war!”

“You pick your nose?” Bal asked with a frown.

“No! I’m just saying I might make some innocuous gesture that they mistake for an insult.”

“Picking your nose in front of someone is rude on every planet and to all races.” Bal explained in a matter-of-fact tone.

“Forget I said anything about nose picking!” Jack barked.

“You don’t need to worry about such things with the Shreen. They are a very relaxed and tolerant people. You may be yourself with them. That shouldn’t cause too much chaos.” Gee said dryly.

Jack took a deep breath and got his nerves back under control. He nodded to the two agents and they continued on.

As they walked up to the mirror surface carrying their tall ski bags Jack thought they looked like a family just going skiing. That made him feel better. He smiled at that thought and wondered what kind of winter wonderland they’d be stepping into on the other side. A brief tingle later Jack looked around with a weird feeling of deja vu. The room was identical to the one they just left. There was no castles of ice and howling winds. The white domed ceiling was the same non-descript Gate room as before. He felt a little disappointed.

They walked to the customs and security agent and Jack perked up. Here was his first Shreen in person.

It was sitting inside a glass booth and chilly air was pouring out of the little window.

“Name, Department, and reason for your visit,” the being droned then looked up. Eyes widened in surprise.

“Jack Danner, Altarian Ambassador. Uh, diplomatic visit with a little skiing thrown in?”

“Jack Danner.” The furred being’s large eyes looked up. “Ah, the horny one.”Exclusive content from NôvelDrama.Org.

Gee snorted as Jack frowned at her.

“Horned one. I’m travelling with my security escort Gee and Bal.”

“What’s in the skinny bags?” the agent asked.

“Our skis,” he answered and got a blank look. “They are long boards we attach to our shoes to glide quickly through snow for fun.”

Furry brows rose then the being shrugged. It pointed to the doors at the far side of the room and went back to ignoring them.

They made their way to the door but instead of opening to a vista of crystal spires and an endless expanse of white Jack saw a wide rectangular corridor sloping down as it went underground. It wasn’t even made of ice, just a smooth white stone. They saw a Shreen walking quickly up the slope towards them.

Jack was now getting his first good look at one of the native population in motion and not mostly hidden inside a custom’s booth. He took time to familiarize himself with its distinct characteristics. This one was tall, maybe a head taller than he was. The front side of its body seemed to be covered with a dense, felt like fur. A creamy white with darker tan rosettes and stripes. The back side may have been covered with long fur as he could see it swish around on her arms and legs. This fur was almost reddish brown. As Karrel had said their feet were wide and completely covered with the longer fur until it looked like the being was wearing big furry boots.

As he’d seen on the customs agent this one had large eyes, a deep grey color, and a black triangular patch which was the nose above a wide mouth. Its teeth were two grinding plates which just looked like wide bands of white teeth but with no gaps, at all. Tall, furry pointed ears projected upwards. The one approaching was only wearing a kind of kilt around its waist which went from hip to mid-thigh.

As it began to slow to a stop before them Gee looked to Jack who had begun to move forward lifting his hand. Gee blocked his arm with her elbow.

“Sorry, I just recalled. Keep your hands to yourself, at all times. Touching hands is only for sex,” she said with a quiet voice.

Jack choked back his outraged response as he’d almost sexually assaulted someone with his first greeting. His face flushed with embarrassment and he stepped back as he watched Gee step forward to press her forehead to the Shreen… female.

He wasn’t sure how he knew but his gut was telling him this was a female. The previous one he’d met had been male if he had to guess.

Bal mirrored Gee’s actions then it was his turn and he stepped forward with a nervous smile and noted she appeared… excited.

After they pressed foreheads she glanced up in wonder at his horns then addressed him. “Hello! Welcome to Elleltris, the capital city of Chrystan. I am Tanz,” she said in a higher pitched voice than he’d expected for so large a being.

“I’m a little nervous myself,” he blurted with a self-conscious grin.

“Jack, that’s her name. Tanz,” Gee corrected him gently.

His face dropped. “Oh! I’m so sorry! I hate to admit but I came here unprepared. I know nothing of the Shreen so I apologize in advance if I make some socially inappropriate mistakes.” He glared at Gee to remind her of her last second reminder.

“It’s quite all right. We’re a tolerant species. This you will learn quickly. We don’t take offense without extreme provocation. Unlike one vile race who no longer exist due to your heroic actions!” she finished with a gush.

He blinked at her in confusion.

“She speaks of the Allsa Komanae. The Shreen have the most personal of reasons to hate the Allsa Komanae.” Gee explained.

“Indeed! They stole our home from us!” Tanz nodded emphatically making the long fur sway.

Jack realized his impression of Tanz’s size was being fooled by the thick mane of long fur on her body. If he took that into account she was actually rather slim, just tall and well furred.

He looked at Gee. “Does everyone know my involvement with their genocide?” he asked quietly.

“Such information proved to be impossible to contain,” Gee replied nonchalantly as she seemed personally pleased it had been leaked so widely.

“We believe it was divine retribution, not genocide. Not that we are a religious people,” Tanz corrected with a smile.

Jack wasn’t sure how to respond to that so he just smiled.

“I am the Queen’s Facilitator. I will be your contact during your visit on Chrystan.” Tanz looked at the large bags they were holding. “What are these?”

“Skis. We use them for gliding quickly over snow. For fun and exercise. I understand we will be spending some time at one of your hot spring resorts?” Jack asked and Tanz nodded. “I hope to use them while we are there.”