I want You Deeper

“O There Alyssa was, trying to have a good time making kay, what’s going on with you?”

dinner alongside her best friend, when she was blindsided by a question.

Alyssa put on her bravest face. “What do you mean?”

Emily let go of the spoon she’d been using to stir the big pot of chili she was making. “I know you. I’ve known you for as long as I can remember. When things are off, I can tell.”

Alyssa knew she had to think quickly. She went with the most obvious answer.

“It’s just…everything’s changing, you know? I worry that we won’t get to spend as much time together.”

“Not just that.” Emily turned to look at her. “I know you’re upset about not being at the cafe, and you’re welcome to stay here as long as you need. I want you to. But you’ve been…happier lately. There’s a glow about you. I think you’re in love.”

Of all the things Alyssa expected her best friend to say, that was the last she anticipated. How could she possibly respond to that?

Especially since Emily was right.

“And I think the person you’re in love with is my brother.”

Alyssa felt as though all the air had been sucked from the room. She wasn’t even sure how she could catch her breath enough to speak again, let alone give Emily an answer. What answer could she possibly give, anyway?

“How long have you known?” Alyssa finally managed to force it out.

Emily thought about that for a second. “If I’m really honest with myself about it, probably since sixth grade.”

“Sixth grade?”

Emily smiled. Smiled. She went back to stirring the chili, but there was a wistful expression on her face as she did. Alyssa forced her attention back to the onion she was chopping.Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.

“What happened in sixth grade?” Alyssa finally dared to ask.

“Jeremy came in from football practice, and we were just hanging out. He started talking about some nonsense, and you were staring at him like he was a movie star. Was that when your crush started?”

Alyssa thought about it for a moment. “It was around that time, yes. But I had no idea you knew.”

“How could you not at least suspect? I mean, you were so excited about going to prom with him, and then…”

“Devastated when he didn’t show,” Alyssa finished for her. “He finally apologized for that, by the way.”

“Really.” Emily looked over at her. “What did he say?”

“He talked a little about his rebellious phase and said he was sorry.”

Alyssa knew that didn’t sound like much of an apology, but how did she describe the sincerity in his eyes? The way he’d looked at her like he would never hurt her like that again?

“Yeah, I always thought that would come back to bite him.” Emily sighed and looked down at the chili again. “Did you know his last words to Dad were that he was dropping out of school? He doesn’t talk about it, but right after the funeral, he broke down. Just to me. After that, we never mentioned it again.”

“He’s running from it?”

“I think so. Maybe he blocked it out. Maybe that’s why he didn’t apologize to you until now, but we need to talk.”

This was it. This was where Emily revealed she was not at all in favor of Alyssa dating her brother. Not that her brother wanted to date Alyssa anyway, but if there was even a small chance of that, it would be a complete no-go if Emily was against it. Emily was more than a best friend. She was family.

Alyssa decided to get ahead of the discussion. “You’re my priority. If you don’t want me involved with your brother, it’s done. Over. I’ll never see him again. Well, without you around, of course, but if you want to keep your time with him separate from your time with me, I’ll understand.”

That would be for the best. If she wasn’t allowed to be with Jeremy, she didn’t want to spend time around him. It would just be too heartbreaking.

But when Emily looked at her, she had a confused look on her face.

“What are you talking about? Of course, I want you and my brother to date.

Is this why you never told me you had a crush on him?”

“Yes.”

Alyssa smiled to herself as she chopped. It was like a huge weight had been lifted off her. Emily was okay with her dating Jeremy. That meant nothing was keeping them apart.

Nothing, that was, but Jeremy not want to be with her.

“Wait…what did you want to talk to me about?” Alyssa asked, suddenly remembering what her friend had said.

“Your issue with speaking up.”

“What? I don’t understand.”

Emily turned the burner down to the lowest setting and leaned against the counter, looking directly at Alyssa. “You didn’t speak up about your crush on my brother, even when he stood you up for the prom and you were so hurt about it.”

There was a perfectly good reason for that. Alyssa put her friendship ahead of some crush. She even put it ahead of an actual romance, if there were going to be one. But Emily wasn’t finished.

“You didn’t tell me about the reviews, even though I could tell you were upset about something. You didn’t tell your former boss to shove it when he laid you off and kept the least experienced person on your staff. And yeah, that might have worked out better in the long run, if you choose to work with them, but I think it’s bull that they have you thinking they’re doing you a favor by asking you to do their marketing. They’re calling on your expertise without paying you a salary.”

Alyssa’s first instinct was to argue that she’d make much more money as a consultant than she ever made as a salaried employee, especially if she could combine this gig with a bunch of other great clients. But Emily made a good point-plus, she’d brought to light something that had been on Alyssa’s mind for a long time now. She had a tough time asserting herself.

A knock on the apartment door put their conversation on pause-for now. Alyssa knew it would only be a matter of time before she had to address this. But Jeremy’s arrival gave her a reprieve.

“Hi,” Alyssa said when she opened the door to see Jeremy standing outside.

She’d been expecting it to be him, but she hadn’t prepared for her reaction to seeing him again. Their gazes met and all doubts that he had feelings for her vanished.

What she wanted was to let him know his sister was aware there was something between them. But she didn’t even know if that had crossed his mind. For all she knew, he was already aware of his sister’s feelings about them getting romantically involved.