Holding on to you

Getting stabbed is not a very nice thing. First off, it hurts like a bitch, then there’s the stitches and the ugly scar that is bound to be there after it heals, and not forgetting having to stay in the hospital for four weeks. And if that wasn’t bad enough, I had Killian treating me like I was going to break any second.

The doctor gave me the all-clear to leave the hospital, and I have to say, I was more than happy to leave. It wasn’t that I had a problem with the hospital or the staff, however, what I didn’t like was all of the attention.

People would pass my room just to sneak a look at the girl who had two arm guards situated right outside her door, and if that wasn’t bad enough, Killian flew in his own doctor to take care of me.

“Ready, baby?”

I pulled the shirt that Jessy brought for me to wear over my head and turn to face Killian. The slight smile he had on his face was replaced with a frown when he saw what my top said.

I grinned and shrugged my shoulders, I liked that little quote on it, at lease when people read it they wouldn’t feel the need to ask questions.

“Baby, what the hell are you wearing?”

He came over and took the bag with my things, putting it over his shoulders. I plopped my ass on the bed and waited for the doctor to come and give me the final go-ahead.

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”Copyright Nôv/el/Dra/ma.Org.

I glanced down at the top, grinning again at the quote, I didn’t know where Jessy got it from but I knew that I’d have to thank her.

Killian frown deepened. “Red, you’re wearing a top that says, ‘yes I got stabbed by my ex-boyfriend, life is a f**king bitch, deal with it!”

I laughed at the expression on his face, and it just made him frown harder if that was even possible.

“Lilly, I don’t think that that shit is anywhere near funny.”

“It kinda is.”

The doctor chose exactly that moment to come in and I was glad for it. I didn’t really feel in the mood to argue with him. He gave me a look, letting me know that the conversation was far from over, but I ignored it and smiled at the doctor.

“So, can I go now?”

The doctor smiled, hearing the excitement in my voice. Killian, moved closer to me, taking my hand in his.

“Yes you can, all the paperwork has been filled out and filed, so I see no reason why you can’t leave.”

I felt like doing a happy dance, but then the smile dropped from the doctor’s face and she gave me a serious look.

“There’s just one thing that I’m concern about, your nightmares, the panic attacks and the pain of just being stab that you feel.”

I felt Killian’s hand tightened around mine, and I knew that his eyes were boring into me, but I ignored him. I knew that he’s probably mad I didn’t tell him about any of those things, but telling him wouldn’t have stopped it from happening anyway.

I nodded my head and the doctor continued.

“I’d very much like for you to see someone about it, there’s this very brilliant psychiatrist that I know who treat a lot of people suffering from the same thing, I told her about you and she’d love to see you.”

I was about to shake my head, there’s just no way I was going to see any psychiatrist to ‘talk’ about my problems, I’ve got my best friends for that. But Killian spoke instead.

“She’ll do it.”

My jaw dropped and I stared at him, he couldn’t really be serious, but from the look, he cast me I knew that he was. Instead of arguing like I wanted to, I just turned back to face the doctor with a fake smile plastered on my face.

“I guess I have no choice then.”

The doctor didn’t even flinch from the coldness in my voice, she instead smiled and continued talking like Killian and I wasn’t having a silent battle between ourselves.

“Great! Doctor Brooks has an opening tomorrow at 6 pm, I’ll tell her to expect you.”

The doctor started to leave, but I stopped her if I was going to have to sit and spill my guts to some lady I didn’t know, I wanted company whiles I’m doing it.

“There’s just one thing, I want my loving husband to be there with me, I just think it will be easier for me with him there.”

The doctor tried her best not to laugh, but she chuckled and nodded her head. She said that she will definitely make it happen then she left. I turned and smiled sweetly at Killian, I expected him to be mad but instead, he smiled down at me with a proud look on his face.

“Come on, let’s get you home so that you can rest.”

At the mention of the word rest, my body felt exhausted, and I nodded, my eyes suddenly feeling heavy. We got my stuff and left the hospital, and as Killian pulled out of the parking lot and drove off, I could have sworn I saw a black SUV following us, but I shrugged it off as my imagination.

“Baby, Shh, I’m here.”

I woke with a start, I was shaking and covered in sweat, my body felt hot and cold at the same time. The horrible images from the nightmare kept playing in my head and I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. I kept seeing that knife stuck in my chest and the pain felt so real, just like when it first happened.

Holding on to Killian, I sobbed and sobbed until the images started to fade and a deep exhaustion set in. Killian pulled me close to him, combing his hand through my hair, the soothing movement lullabied me back to sleep and it must have been a peaceful one because the next time I woke up, the sun was shining bright outside and Killian was missing from the bed.

I threw the covers off and got up, stretching the sleep out of my body I winced from the pain. I walked over to the bathroom to look at myself in the full-length mirror. I didn’t see anything spectacular about myself, I looked like any other normal woman, I couldn’t understand what it was that Killian saw when he looked at me.

The only thing that stood out on my body was the scar and seeing it only makes Killian frown in anger. I traced it with my hand and the images of that day filled my head, the look on Jason’s face, the shock looks of everyone around and most of all, the look of absolute terror on Killian’s face.

Shaking the images away, I quickly got into the shower and try to wash it all away. When I was done, I got dressed and went in search of Killian and the rest of the Scooby gang.

I found them all in the kitchen sitting and having breakfast, Killian got up when he saw me and started walking over to me. I had only taken two-step when I felt someone pushed past me, causing me to lose my balance. If Killian wasn’t already standing so close to me, I would have fallen and hurt myself pretty bad. He caught me right before I fell, strong hands coming around my waist, holding me in place.

“Oops, sorry, you should really look where you’re going, you wouldn’t want to hurt yourself again now, would you?”

Natasha smiled slyly, swinging her hips as she continued to walk into the kitchen. I glared daggers at her back if I could I would pull every single strand of her perfect hair out of her head.

I’ve had it up to my eyeball with her and Christa, and to make matters worse, the two evil bitches decided to become best friends. Killian saw the change in my mood, so he turned my face to him, tilted my head up and placed a tender kiss on my lips.

When he pulled away, all thoughts of committing murder were gone from my head and only thoughts of him were left.

“Morning, beautiful.”

I smiled, feeling giddy inside, I couldn’t believe how much I’ve come to love him that the thought of being out him send cold shivers through my body.

“Morning,” I replied.

He took my hand and guide me to the empty seat beside him next to the table. I smiled at Jessy and Kinsley and thanked Mia (the cook) for the plate of eggs and toast that she placed in front of me.

I wasn’t really in the mood to eat, but I didn’t want to make Mia feel bad either, so I picked at the food. I could tell that everyone around the table felt awkward, and I knew it because of me. I felt the tears welled up and I quickly excused myself from the table, running out of the kitchen.

Running straight up the stairs and into the first bedroom I saw, dashing right into the bathroom, I locked myself in then braced against the door. I felt stupid for running, I knew that they didn’t know how to address the stabbing, hell, even I didn’t know how to talk about it. I mean, I was stabbed by my ex whilst protecting the man I love, how the hell do you talk about that around the breakfast table?

It’s not like I can say, ‘so, remember when I got stabbed and almost die? Good times, good times’ so I couldn’t really get upset at anyone from acting strange. Deciding that my behaviour was stupid, I washed my face and opened the door, fully intending to go and apologise.

However, the moment I opened the door I was pushed right back in and span so that my back was against it, and before I could protest wet lips crashed down on mine.