Holding on to you

Jessy’s P. O. V

What have I done? I’m such an idiot!

I can’t believe I hurt my best friend like that, I let my stupid hormones get in the way of my friendship. Kissing Jason was a mistake, I should never have let it get that far, I crossed a line that should never have been crossed.

I don’t know what I was thinking, but with Lilly marrying and living with Killian I felt like I’ve lost my best friend. Before she got herself mixed up with him we used to speak to each other every day, but lately, it’s like I never see my best friend anymore.

“Jessy!”

I closed my eyes, trying to not let the sound of his voice affect me. Increasing my speed, I walked in the opposite direction. I almost tripped, but I kept on going, refusing to turn around.

I had to think about Lilly, the hurt looked in her face kept playing in my head and I started jogging.

“Jess, come on! You’re going to have to talk to me sometime!”

No! I didn’t have to talk to him at all, we both hurt someone we loved. There was just nothing left to say between us anymore, and I couldn’t forget the things he said to me outside of his house.

I picked up speed and started running, I was running through the park desperate to get to my house and away from Jason. I can’t believe he followed me!

It’s been like this with us ever since that day at his house, I couldn’t forgive him for what he said to me and I couldn’t forgive myself for what I did to Lilly.

I slowed down when I approached a path that I knew very well, Jason was still following me, but because I knew the park, I was some ways ahead of him. I quickly started running down the pathway, my main focus was to get away from Jason, so I wasn’t really looking where I was going. Just imagined my surprise when I run into firm hands, at first, I thought it was Jason and I started freaking out.

However, went I looked up I saw that it was instead one of the security guards from the Black estate. My fear momentarily left me and I started to relax, however, I started freaking out when I realised that he wasn’t letting me go.

My eyes widen and I opened my mouth to scream, but he placed his hand over my mouth, cutting the sound off. I didn’t know what to do. Here I was, in the park down a dark, deserted pathway, with a strong as steel guy who looked like he had no intention of letting me go. So, I did the only thing any sane girl would do in my situation… cry.

Yep. I started crying, like a baby. However, in between my muffled sobs, I heard Jason calling my name. The guy looked me in my eyes and mouthed,

“Not a word.”

I can’t be certain, but I’m sure I gave him an, are you crazy? look. I used my hands to try and pry his hand off of my mouth, but it was like trying to bend steel, he just wouldn’t budge.

All the softness in his features were replaced with that of an angry dragon, and before I knew it I was being walked backwards and into a tree. His hand never left me mouth, but his body moved closer, bracing me up against the tree.

All of my attempts to break his hold on me were fruitless, and when I heard Jason walked right pass the pathway, I knew that I was doomed. I listened as his footsteps got fainter and fainter, my heart beating away in my chest as the reality of my situation started setting in. All the while, his eyes never left mine, it was as if he was daring me to move or make a sound.

However, for some reason, I decided to stay quite. When we could no longer hear Jason anymore, he slowly removed his hand from my mouth but instead placed it on my waist.

“Jessica Shay, your name rings of innocence as does the owner.”

I’ve never heard anything more beautiful than the sound of my name rolling off of his tongue, his voice did things to me. However, instead of gawking at him like some little school girl, I frowned.

“Didn’t your mother teach you that it’s rude to touch a girl without her permission?”

I glared at his face then at his hands that were still on my waist. I don’t know what I expected from to do, but laughing was not it.

“My mother taught me to always go after what I want and take anyone down who gets in my way.”

I stared at him, well, what the bleeding hell could I say to that… nothing, that’s what.

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He just laughed harder, the rich sound washed over me, causing me to shiver. His eyes twinkled with humour and something else that I couldn’t quite identify. I was so fascinated with him that I all but forgot that I was his captive, and from the way his hands tightened on me, I knew that he had no intention of letting me walk away.

“Ah, Jessica, I knew I chose right… I’m gonna enjoy making you mine.”

Say what now?

My eyes widen and my earlier fears came back ten folds, I started twisting in his arms, trying my best to escape, but I just couldn’t seem to get lost. His hands moved, one circling my waist and the other going in my hair, I knew what he intended to do, so I started to put up more of a fight.

Before I could fully do anything that would cause damage, I felt rough yet soft lips touched mine, instantly the fight died in me. Without knowing it my eyes closed and I let him explore my mouth. Instead of pushing him away like I knew I should, I gripped the front of his shirt and pulled him closer.

The kiss was not magical or tingling like most people say they experience, however, it was raw, hot and downright provocative. Kissing him didn’t make me fall in love with him or anything, instead, I felt like I wanted to take him back to my house and lock him in my room where we can kiss forever.

When his tongue entered my mouth I moaned so loud that it caused him to stop kissing me and chuckled. The fog that was clouding my mind started to fade, but he never gave it a chance to clear completely, he took my lips again. However, his movement was more demanding, more forceful.

I felt like I was going to explode with need but he pulled away just in time. I was so disoriented and confused, I swear I saw tweedy bird dancing in a circle around my head.

The look in his eyes was one of a tiger that saw his prey, and he intended to get it no matter what the consequences are. That caused the fog in my head to clear and reality set in. I gasped, putting my hands to cover my mouth, I was horrified and terribly ashamed of myself for kissing a stranger in the park, that was no longer showing any signs of daylight.

“Let’s get you home, Jessica.”

I was so shocked by my behaviour that I just nodded, letting him lead me out of the park. I hadn’t realised how late it had gotten, I knew that my brother must be freaking out, wondering if I got kidnapped on my way home.

Kidnapped!

As soon as the thought entered my head all of my senses came back to me full force. I knew I had to get away from this guy that was taking me god knows where. Although he said he was taking me home I couldn’t be sure, I didn’t know him, and I sure as hell didn’t trust him.

I walked with him, both of us not saying a word, he was holding my hand but his grip wasn’t firm, so I knew that if I pulled hard enough that I’d be able to escape and run, but I had to do it at the right time.

When we were out in the open and I saw lights from the street lamps coming into view, I yanked my hand out of his and took off running.

“Shit, Jessica!”

I heard the anger in his voice and I pushed myself harder, it was dark so I couldn’t really make out where I was going, but I knew that it had to be far away from him. My feet started to protest but I pushed myself harder and kept on running.

I’m more of a bookworm than an athlete, so running for my life wasn’t something I was accustomed to. My lungs started to burn and my air supply felt like it was drying up on me just when I needed it the most.

I couldn’t hear him anymore and I didn’t trust myself enough to stop and look back, with my luck something bad was bound to happen. I breathe a relieved sigh when I was cleared of the park and on the road, it was only then that I slowed down.

I was quite some ways away from my house since I ran in the opposite direction. I stood for a while taking in my surroundings, trying to figure out the easiest way to get home without going through the park.

The streets were void of any form of life; it was like something out of a horror movie. I felt like the stupid girl who always dies because of her stupid decisions. If I was at home watching myself on TV, I’d be screaming at the screen at how stupid I was.

I decided that it was inevitable, my only way home was back through the park, but instead of going deep within I decided to walk where there were lights. I kept looking behind me every few seconds, my pace never slowed and when I reached somewhere that was familiar to me I almost break out in dance.

I knew that I didn’t have far to go before I was home, but my only problem was that in order for me to get there fast, I’d have to go deeper into the park. Or, I could have taken the long way round by sticking to the road. Deciding that I didn’t want to risk running into Killian’s crazy security guard again, I kept to the roads.

The furthers away from the park I got the creepier it got, I started to regret my decision when the lights started to fade into darkness. Hearing movements from behind me, I started to increase my speed, my heart was in my hands and I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t scared shitless. I started cursing myself for running from Jason, at least with him all I’d have to deal with were his pleads for forgiveness.

The sound got closer and that’s when I realised that it was footsteps, more than one by the sounds of it. I was on the verge of running when I heard someone called my name.