Chapter 188: Remorse
The commotion of the ward finally quieted down, and the sounds of the patients’ families coming and going down the aisles didn’t reach Dean Lan’s ears at all.
He is still looking at Sansa Ran with an incredulous expression of bewilderment, and his lips are trying to say something but he can’t make a sound.
“Well? Have I made myself clear? Sansa Ran’s face was covered with tears, and her red eyes were staring at Dean Lan with deadly eyes. her voice, which was hoarse because she thought she had been crying for a long time, struck deep into Dean Lan’s heart word by word.
Dean Lan clenched his fist and slammed it against the wall, his blood flowing upward and his face filling up with blood, looking horrible.
“I’m sorry… I’m…” The man’s low voice filled the ward, and the only sound left in the room was Sansa Ran’s small, thin sobs flowing out in bursts.
Sansa Ran was in pain, “What’s the use of saying you’re sorry? Will my child come back? Can I ever have a child again? I used to wake up every day and feel him inside my belly, so healthy and alive… But! Now it’s just gone! What do you want me to do?”
Sansa Ran’s barrage of reproaches hit Dean Lan hard, a word that really weighed a thousand pounds down on his back. “I’m sorry for you, I didn’t expect so much to happen. I didn’t know you had endured so much, I’m so damned!” Dean Lan gritted his teeth and pinched his fingernails into his flesh.
Dean Lan was pacing around the ward, his pace was fast and Sansa Ran’s heart was bored. dean lan rarely shows his emotional breakdown like this, he finally couldn’t control his emotions and burst out.
“No matter what, I’m sorry for you! Blame my bad, if I was a little better to you this wouldn’t have happened, don’t be sad, okay? I really don’t know what to do when I see you crying like this.” Dean Lan broke down and cried out, he tilted his head to try not to let Sansa Ran see his tears but the tear marks he slid down his neck still let her see through them at a glance.
Sansa Ran bit her lower lip without saying a word, she hurriedly looked down not wanting to see Dean Lan look like this again. “Are you doing this for me now? Can you change the outcome by crying now? Ah?”Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.
Sansa Ran doesn’t want to become so sarcastic, but she can’t help herself. Especially when Dean Lan appeared in front of her with a look of regret and remorse, she looked at her words as if she was outside the two of them and coldly cut Dean Lan’s heart into pieces like a knife.
After venting his emotions, Dean Lan’s mind cleared a bit and he took a deep breath to try to slow his brain down. The cool, disinfectant-laced air was inhaled into his lungs and his brain, which had been sluggish before, began to function.
“Don’t worry, I will definitely give you an explanation. Don’t think too much now I will take care of everything, don’t worry.” Dean Lan looked at Sansa Ran who did not even raise her head, but he still restrained his emotions and did not want to cause secondary damage to her.
Sansa Ran grunted coldly, not denying what he said, her red and swollen eyes squinting slightly in sourness so that Dean Lan could not see her emotions. “You do not spend time in my place, you go away. I now see you heart is like being put on the fire scorching like, the heartache!”
Sansa Ran’s cruel words could not have hurt Dean Lan, and he thought her eyes dimmed at the words she uttered. But after a moment Dean Lan regained his usual expression.
The atmosphere in the ward was like boiling water after it had become calm on the surface, but inside it was really hot and dangerous. No one speaks, Sansa Ran’s eyes are closed and she is still in a state of remorse over the loss of her child.
“Something is wrong, why did Sansa say she could never conceive a child again? What’s going on here? Her health isn’t that bad, who told her this news?” Dean Lan’s calmed brain raced as he clasped his arms in contemplation.
Dean Lan was afraid that Sansa Ran would have another emotional breakdown if he brought up the issue of miscarriage. He had to make a secret decision to go to the doctor later to find out what was going on.
“Do you want to eat some fruit to pad your stomach? Don’t starve yourself.” Dean Lan walked into the hospital bed and picked up an apple from the fruit basket, intending to wash it and give it to her.
Sansa Ran felt his approach and moved away in disgust, her brow furrowed tightly without giving Dean Lan a single response. sansa Ran did not see the flicker of hurt in Dean Lan’s eyes behind her.
Stiffening for a moment Dean Lan once again picked up the apple naturally and in a soft tone tried to communicate with her. “What do you want to eat? I’ll get it for you later.”
Sansa Ran, who thought he was giving up, sighed and wrinkled her brow. “Do you know that you are disgusting with this sycophantic look? You did the same thing to Charmaine Qiu behind my back before, right? I was stupid before, why should I trust a man like you? Well here comes the retribution.” Sansa Ran laughed mockingly and held back the tears that were about to flow.
Dean Lan, holding the apple in his hand, had not yet reacted to what Sansa Ran had said, and watched as she buried her entire head under the covers and subconsciously tried to pull her out.
“You misunderstood, things are not what you think. I have nothing to do with Charmaine Qiu, are you talking about the time she suddenly hugged me? I can explain it to you.” Dean Lan was still a little happy to hear Sansa Ran’s questioning, after all, it proved that she still cared about herself not that she verbally said she didn’t have an ounce of attachment to herself.
Sansa Ran opened her eyes under the covers, gritting her teeth and wanting Dean Lan to stop but in her heart she wanted him to explain himself. Before she could come up with a result, Dean Lan hurriedly defended himself.
“Charmaine Qiu told me the other day that she had let go of her feelings for me and would not haunt me anymore. She said she wanted to give me a hug as a parting gift. We really have nothing to do with each other, you have to believe me. It was just an accident, and you can ask her too to see what she says.”
The more Dean Lan spoke, the more anxious he became, fearing that Sansa Ran would not listen to a word he said. After all, he had run out of credibility with her now.
Sansa Ran covered her ears, and every time she heard the words Charmaine Qiu pop out of Dean Lan’s mouth, she felt uncomfortable. Remembering that she was present when she had her miscarriage, Sansa Ran felt even worse.
“That’s enough!” Sansa Ran wanted to slam her head against the wall in pain at the thought of her baby disappearing like this, she cried out with a sobbing voice.