70
Emma didn’t go to work the next day. She stayed at home to clean.
Except the cleaning was fueled by rage.
She didn’t want to think about Daniel, didn’t want to keep being mad about him, but she was, so she took out her anger on the dirt.
When her doorbell rang around noon, Emma opened the door and saw Monica. She was glad. She wasn’t sure she wanted to be alone any more. Sitting around and feeling sorry for herself. So she had called Monica to come keep her company.
“Are you alright?” Monica asked as she came in, staring at Emma’s swollen eyes.
“Yeah I’m fine.” Emma replied.
“You don’t look like you are. Have you been crying?”. Monica asked.
“Daniel and I… Broke up I guess” Emma said. “Whatever you call it in our case”.
“Oh my, Emma,” Monica said. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine. It’s all my fault.” Emma said. “I fell in love with him. Knowing he didn’t want a relationship. But I’m not going to keep crying about it. What’s done is done. Let’s see a movie.”
Emma stared at the big stack of romantic comedies Monica had plopped on the table.
“I don’t think I can watch any of those,” she said.
Monica sighed. “Oh, come on, the guys in these movies are really hot.”
“It’s just the whole notion of romance that I’m not crazy about tonight.”Emma said.
“Oh. Okay I get it. You don’t want to think about Daniel right now “.
And she was right. Emma thought. He was the last person she wanted to think.. Or talk talk about. “What about Tom?” she asked.
Monica shot her a look. “How about we agree not to talk men until we have had at least three margaritas?”Nôvel/Dr(a)ma.Org - Content owner.
“I don’t wanna start drinking right now, because I’m scared that if I start I won’t be able to stop.” Emma said.
“Okay, so let’s not talk men until we have seen a movie, even if it’s just one.”
“Can’t we just skip the whole subject of men?” Emma asked as she eyed the grocery bag Monica had brought over. She followed her friend as Monica carried the bag to the kitchen.
“Tell me what happened between you and Tom” Emma said. Ignoring her previous statement about keeping men out of the conversation.
“Nothing much,” Monica said. “We have just been fighting a lot lately. Looks like we need to take a break from each other. I think we got into something serious too quickly. But it’s no big deal, I’m sure we can fix it”.
“Damn,” Emma said. “How did our lives get so dismal? Everything just seems to be falling apart right now for me. I hate feeling this way”.
They returned to the living room. Monica finished chewing the cookie she had shoved into her mouth whole before she answered. “It’s called self pity. We don’t have anyone to blame but ourselves if we are not happy.”
“But we should be happy. I mean, we are young. We have good jobs, we are healthy, blah blah blah…” Emma said.
“Yeah you are right. And you are fine girl, Aside from the fact that you fell in love with Daniel, and got dumped by him. Your life’s pretty much perfect.”
“Thanks for the reminder.” Emma said sarcastically.
“Are you going to quit your job at Kay Corp?” Monica asked. “Isn’t it gonna be weird for you?”
Emma ignored the question and turned her attention to the chips, which were a far easier subject than her career. Emma shoved chips into her mouth and pretended to watch the movie Monica had put on. She couldn’t deal with her wrecked love life, and her job all in one conversation.
“Don’t ask me. What are you going to do about Tom?” she asked.
“You are avoiding the subject.”
“Yeah I am. I thought you came over here to cheer me up. That’s why I called you. And that topic doesn’t cheer me up at all.” Emma said, then she added. “You are really bothered by this whole Tom thing, aren’t you? And you are trying so hard to act like you are not”.
“I guess I’m just trying to distract myself from it.” Monica said.
“By focusing on my failures. Thanks a bunch.” Emma said.
Emma grabbed the remote and hit the pause button.
“You don’t want to lose Tom, honestly. I can tell you that for sure.” Emma said. “He’s my friend and I know him. He’s a great guy.”
“Oh really,” Monica said. “Now do you want to hear my advice about Daniel?” she asked.
“We are talking about your screwed up love life here, not mine.”? Emma said but Monica ignored her.
“Daniel is not perfect. So he has some commitment issues. Is that really so awful? You do too” she said.
“No, but I don’t care. Can you believe he didn’t even have the guts to tell me he wanted to end things between us till I asked him. And then he gave me that ‘it’s not you… It’s me’ speech. He didn’t seem to have any issues when he brought up the stupid idea in the first place. He just kept avoiding me and being weird. This is really my fault. I always fall for people who don’t care about me. I let myself believe something could come out of this. I shouldn’t have. He was honest with me from the beginning. I was the one who couldn’t control my feelings. But I still don’t care, I’m still mad at him.”
“Come on, Emma,” Monica replied. “You know that’s not the whole truth-the man has his issues, but I don’t think he didn’t care about you… Yeah, he wanted a sexual relationship. But he did enjoy being with you. He slept with you because he was hot for you, plain and simple. He has the same problem you have… Commitment issues”
“Remind me again… Whose side are you on?” Emma asked, rolling her eyes.
“You know I’m on your side. I will always be on your side… Even when you are being crazy “.
Emma rolled her eyes again.
“But don’t put this whole shit on him. Seriously, have you ever met a guy who wanted sex for any other reason than simply because it’s his favorite thing to do?” Monica asked.
“That’s beside the point.”
“No, it’s not. You both have commitment issues, Emma. And I remember clearly that you didn’t even want to get involved with him in the first place because of that. He didn’t force you into anything. And the fact that you fell in love with him along the way and began to want something more doesn’t mean that he should have too. Everyone has their own pace. You can’t force things. Maybe he’s just not ready. You’ve got to stop letting this thing bother you. I met him a few times, Emma. He cared about you.”
“Oh, hell.”Emma said.
“You know I’m right.”
“Well I don’t care if you are” Emma said. “We are done now. And I’m not going to sit here and mope anymore”
“You are clearly unhappy with the situation,”Monica said. “Why don’t you offer him some sort of alternative arrangement-like sex with the possibility of something more.”
“No. No. No more arrangements and agreements.” Emma said. “It was a stupid idea. That’s the reason why I’m in this mess right now. I’m done with him”.
Monica was silent.
“Do you wanna go out or not? I suddenly don’t want to be here anymore” Emma said.
“Sure thing” Monica replied.
They were off the couch and scrambling for shoes and coats, and in less than a minute they were out of the house.