Ex-Husband's Regret

Ava.

I’m still reeling from the nerve of Rowan days after my appointment. I mean how dare he pretend like he didn’t know what the hell I had gone through when I was pregnant.

Him, the Sharps and his damn family were all responsible. I almost lost my baby because of them and they still wonder why the hell I can’t forgive them?

Thinking about it just pissed me the fuck off. I was drowning yet they didn’t care. They didn’t bother. All because they blamed for that night. Did I have sex on my own? Did I drag Rowan to the bed and force myself on him? He was a willing participant yet they blamed me. Punished me.

Sometimes I look back and I think that it was just an excuse. They used that night and the results to alienate me. They’ve never treated me like one of them. So this was the perfect excuse for them to cut me off completely.

What I told Rowan was the truth. I couldn’t regret him because he gave me Noah, but I do wish that I’d ran away when I was pregnant. Maybe then my life would have been completely different.

‘Everything happens for a reason, Ava’ my inner voice says. ‘The journey that you went through was meant to bring you to this moment. It was meant to bring to your parents, to Letty, to Corrine, to Calvin and Gunner. It’s because of that same journey that you met Ethan and now you are expecting this precious baby. Everything happens to align for something better’

I think about it for a minute and my anger deflates. She’s right. I would have had a different life had I ran away, but what’s to say I would have met those in my life right now? It’s the same thing with Rowan. Taking back that night would mean taking back Noah and everyone that’s in my life right now.

Leaning against the sofa, I let the stress and worries go. I was determined to move on and heal. It’s difficult with people digging at the wound, but like I said. I was determined.

I was about to lay down, when I heard a crash from the kitchen. I sit up straight with my heart pounding.

Standing up, I slowly walk towards the kitchen. I used to think that those people in horror movies who used to go towards where the sound came from were stupid. Like, just ran away. Why are you heading towards what is possibly danger?

Here I am though, behaving exactly like them even though I knew there was still danger hanging over our heads.

I should be calling someone. The police for example, but I want to make sure it isn’t Cal’s dog. He has a habit of breaking into my kitchen and eating any cupcake he can find.

Reaching the kitchen. I find no one. I move around the kitchen counter to check the back door. The glass was broken, meaning someone was inside my house.

Panic starts to seize my heart. Not again! This time is even worse because I was alone and pregnant. I turn around about to run to the phone, but I freeze in fear.

Reaper stands on the opposite side looking out of sorts and completely dangerous.

“Hello, Ava” he greets, his voice sending shivers down my back.

I used to think Rowan’s voice is cold, but Reapers is like the Antarctica.

I grab a knife and point it at him. “Stay the fuck back”

“I’m not going to hurt you” he puts his arms up in surrender.

I scoff. “Could have fooled me”

“For real. I’m not going to hurt you. I just want to talk” he puts his hands down and takes a seat on one of the kitchen barstools.

I stare at him. My eyes twitching. He looks so comfortable and at home. As if he hadn’t just broken into my house. The same woman he had kidnapped about a week and a half ago.

“What’s there to talk about? I won’t be a part of your sick revenge plan against Rowan. If you want to get back at him then be my guest and do it, but leave me and my son out of it”

There is a flicker of an emotion in his eyes. It’s gone before I can even interpret what the hell it is.

“I don’t hurt kids. That’s one thing we agree on in my organization.”

I’m surprised by this, but manage to hide it. It doesn’t matter either way. Fact is he wanted to use me against Rowan.

“What are you doing here and what do you want from me?” I ask instead.

“Put the knife down” he commands.

“No way in hell. I’m not stupid. If you want to talk, then talk, but the knife stays where it is”

“Feisty, I like that”

That is definitely not something you want to hear from someone like Reaper. He seems unhinged in a really dangerous and scary way.

“What do you want Reaper?” I ask again.

Fuck! If only I hadn’t left my damn phone in the fucking living room. Maybe then I could have stealthily sent a message to Rowan.

“I got a message from your boyfriend” he says with a smirk.

I look at him confused. What the hell was he talking about?

“What boyfriend? I don’t have a fucking boyfriend”

“Ethan, does that name ring a bell then?”

My body stills. What the hell had Ethan done? Did he even realize what he was up against? The police have been unable to catch this guy for years. That means he’s really good and really powerful in the criminal world.

“You see, he sent someone to find me and kill me. You know, take care of the problem for his baby mama. What he didn’t realize is that I’m king of the underworld in this city and you can’t order a hit on the same man that owns these gangsters”

I'm not even surprised he knows so much about me.

Shit. Shit. Please don’t tell me that Ethan too has made an enemy out of Ronny. I didn’t go to all the trouble of facing the man that betrayed me just so he ends up dead and doesn’t get to meet his baby.

“I can’t blame him though” he continues. “He doesn’t realize I would never have hurt you.”

“W-what?” I stammer.

He just goes on like I didn’t speak. It was like I wasn’t even in the room and he was speaking to himself.

“Sure I wanted to play with Rowan. I already knew he would choose you meaning I would have killed Emma, but even if he had chosen Emma, I wouldn’t have killed you”

I just stare at him. Not really sure what the hell he was talking about. Nothing about what he said was registering in my freaking head.

“What the hell are you talking about? Rowan would have chosen Emma. You were gambling my life”

“No he wouldn’t. Maybe before, but not now. I’ve been watching him. Studying him. I know for a fact that he’d have let Emma die if it meant saving you. Looks like his feelings have changed. Or maybe they were always there. It took losing you to open his damn eyes”

I was rendered speechless. Sure Rowan had told me he’d have chosen me. I didn’t listen. Now, hearing someone else say the same thing. An enemy to be exact. Has me even more confused when it comes to all things Rowan.

I shake my head. Just to clear the cobwebs.

I stare at the menacing man in front of me. He looks so relaxed. So unbothered. Which leaves me dumbfounded, because if I were him, I would be nervous knowing I could get caught any time.

“You said you wouldn’t have hurt us. Then what was the point of kidnapping us?”

“I said I wouldn’t have hurt you.” He emphasizes on ‘You’. “Emma was fair game”

This man was so damn confusing. Nothing he said made a damn sense.

“Aren’t you going to ask me why?”

I sigh, praying for patience, the patience I was starting to lose. I just wanted him out of my damn house.

“Why?”

He smiles. This was the first smile I’ve seen from him that wasn’t creepy or evil.Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

“Because you’re carrying my niece or nephew. With that fact, I can’t hurt now can I?”

Say what? I must be going deaf because I'm sure I didn't hear what I think I heard.

"That can't be night...I have no siblings, so you can't be my baby's uncle unless you're..."

That's when it fucking hits. Like a ton of fucking bricks. Shit why was this happening to me. As if I didn't have enough to worry. Now I'm stressed about my child having a psychotic uncle.

"I see you've figured it out he leans forward expectantly. "Quite a clever girl"

"Does he know?" I ask slowly. My head still jumbled.

"No. He doesn't remember. I was around twelve and Ethan was one when I was sent to juvie for a mission my dad had ordered me to do. I didn't really know that it was a crime or that he was grooming me to take his place. By the time I got out, dad was already dead and Ethan has already been adopted."

He's quiet for a while. The memories playing in his eyes. Unlike the man Rowan killed, Ronny was born into this life. Forced into it as a child. I see it as clearly as day.

"Why didn't you get him when you got out and were old enough?" I ask. Making him look at me.

"I love my brother. I couldn't do that to him. I couldn't corrupt him with the life we were born into. He was happy and loved. Something that he wouldn't have had with our dad. It would have been different had he been in the system or had your parents treated him like your adopted parents treated you. I saw how they loved him, so I left him even though it hurt me. It was the only way to give him a chance at a normal life"

Damn it. I didn't want my heart to soften towards him. A man who would sacrifice a relationship with his brother just so he had a good life couldn't be that bad, right?

"It didn't stop him from ending up in prison though?" I whisper.

Even after all that sacrifice, Ethan still ended up doing some terrible crimes then ended up in prison.

"Yeah. Should have kept monitoring him after. Maybe then I would have helped him avoid prison"

"Probably by helping him come up with a better plan of killing me I say sarcastically,

The evil smiles comes back in place. "How else would I help him solve his dilemma? I've killed my share or people so of course I would have a few pointers on how to do it and not get caught."

I should have been scared but I wasn't. Not anymore.

It's as we were talking that I realized that I had somehow placed the knife down. It wasn't clutched in a tight grip anymore.

"So what do you want from me? Seeing you're here, there has to be reason

He nods his head. "Yes. I want a chance to get to know my niece or nephew. I've gone so

long without a family. I want that again"

"You do realize you're a wanted criminal"

"Yes" he gives me a dazzling smile as if the fact that he was a criminal is a good thing. "I promise my business won't touch him or her, plus you and your kids will have my protection for life."

I watch him. Study him. He may be bat shit crazy, but I see the truth in his eyes. He wasn't lying. He was looking for a familial tie.

"On one condition" I tell him. "Tell Ethan the truth"

"Deal"

He gives me his hand. I tentatively give him mine and we shake on it. I was a bit scared, I mean, I just made a deal with a criminal, but for some reason this felt right. Maybe I was just as crazy as he was because none of what I was doing made any sense.