Ex-Husband's Regret

His Unbelievable words Ava

“W–what?” I stammer, looking at Rowan in complete shock

I couldn’t have heard him correctly. The Rowan I knew would have done anything for Emma Including sacrificing me.

My heart beats wildly as I stare at his blank face.

“You heard me, Ava” he repeats. No trace of lying in his voice. “If it had to come to it, I would have

gladly let her die if it meant saving you”

At first I thought that he’d lied so I wouldn’t feel bad. After all, who likes knowing that the man

she spent almost a decade with would gladly save another woman?

I thought he was saying that just to spare my feelings. Looking at his face though, I realize that he

was telling the truth. It was written on his face and in his eyes. Besides, when has Rowan ever

spared my feelings? He’s never shied away from telling how it is so why would he start lying now?

I release a deep breath and untangle my hands from his. It felt too intimate. I already had so much

thoughts dancing in my head. I didn’t need his warm hands confusing me more.

“You don’t mean that” I tell him after a while. “Emma is the woman you’ve loved since the first

time you realized what love is. You’ve been in love with her for so many years, how then can you

so casually say you would sacrifice her for my sake?”

His brows draw into a frown. He goes to speak, but I interrupt him.

“I’m the one that has meant nothing to you from the start. Remember? You hate me Rowan. You’ve

hated me for years, so what the hell is going on? How can you just decide one day that I’m more

important than your precious Emma? Something is just not adding up. You just can’t unhate me

all of a sudden” 2

I fall back on the pillow in exhaustion. I knew what I said was the damn truth. There is just no way all the hate, resentment and bitterness he has had for me for the past nine years disappeared

into thin air.

You just don’t wake up one day a brand new person. Intense feelings are hard to get rid of. Hard to bury. I should know that. Didn’t I struggle with trying to kill and bury the love I had for Rowan?

finally nd myself of it.

Ava

He goes to say something, but I am just done. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want him to make up pretty little lies. I don’t want any new changes. I just want to go back to how things were before

When they all hated and despised me. D

I know some might wonder why I would want such a thing, right? After all, isn’t this what I’ve

always wanted? For them to realize their mistake and crawl begging for forgiveness.

The truth is, I am just so used to their cruelty that I don’t know how to deal with this new versions of their persona. It’s confusing because a part of me wants to let it all go and forgive them. The

other part though, doesn’t trust their intentions. 3

Maybe it’s the trauma from being rejected over and over again, but I can’t trust their brand new feelings towards me. It feels like a game. A game of waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“No, Rowan” I cut him off. “I’m thankful that you saved me, but please leave. You should be by

Emma’s side. That’s where you’ve always wanted to be. Emma is here and you have waited years

to be with her. Please don’t screw things up. What we had meant nothing. It was a mistake from the beginning. We both spent those nine years in misery, it’s time each of us found our happiness

right? Yours has always been with Emma, and mine…well mine is now with my children”

He wants to argue. I see it in his eyes as the grey pools darken. Almost like there was a storm

raging inside. I still. Waiting for a fight, but it doesn’t come.

I’m surprised when he sags against his chair, before letting out a sigh.

“Alright, I leave you alone…for now” he says in a gruff voice before standing up.

I thought that would be it, but instead of leaving immediately, he bends and the kisses my

forehead gently. Before I can say or do anything. He leaves, closing the door gently behind him.

I’m left staring at his back. Wondering what the hell just happened. It’s not that I am not happy he

left. I am. It’s just Rowan is used to doing whatever the fuck he wants, yet he left when I asked

even though you could tell he didn’t want to.

As I slowly regain my energy, I think about what he told me. Of course it’s hard to believe him. I

mean this is Rowan we are talking about. The same Rowan that told me I could never measure up

to be like Emma or a woman he loves.

What the hell is going on with him? I question but don’t get any answers

Any other man I would have believed if he told me that he would give up Emms But not Howan Never Rowan

How does he expect me to believe him? For nine years he along with everyone else has told me that I am nothing. That I meant nothing to him. So how does he expect to flip things around out of nowhere and expect that I would believe him?

I had so many questions, but no answer. All those questions were doing my head in, so I push them aside instead. Whatever was going on in Rowan’s head wasn’t my damn business. Him and 1 were done. It wasn’t my place to try and figure him out.

Without meaning too, exhaustion takes over and I fall asleep. Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

When I wake up, it’s to find my parents in the room with me. They looked as exhausted as I felt Each of them was holding one of my hands and at that moment I’ve never felt more loved.

This is what I had craved from Rowan and the Sharps. The fact that I finally had it, brought so many emotions to the surface.

I must have made a sound, because they both look up.

“Ava” mom calls, her voice catching. “How are you feeling?”

My eyes fill. I blink to try and push them back, but it does nothing.

“I love you guys so much. Thank you for being everything I’ve always imagined” My voice was so full of emotions that it was hard to speak.

“Aww darling. You can’t imagine how I’ve been dying to hear you say that” mom says, her tears reflecting in the light.

“We love you too baby girl. More than you could ever imagine” dad adds.

I let the tears fall as I bask in their warm embrace. Surrounded by their love.

We separate as the door opens and a nurse walks in.

“Are you ready for discharge, Ava?” she asks smiling kindly at me.

I was so happy when they told me that my baby was doing fine. That the drugs I inhaled hadn’t

affected the baby in any way.

“Yes. I’m dying to see and hold my son* I tell her smiling back at her.

Rowan told me that he was with his parents I planned to pick him up on the way home. I don’t

plan to be a second away from him because I knew today would have gone differently. If it had. I

wouldn“: nave been alive to see him.

“Okay. Come to the reception once you’re done here” she instructs just before she leaves,

Mom had brought a change of clothes. She helps me change in the small bathroom while dad

waits for us. After I finish, we leave the room.

Mom and dad insist on taking care of the bills. They wanted me off my feet.

As I waited, I notice the Sharp’s, Gabe and Rowan. Taking in a deep breathe, as if I could breathe in

the courage to face them I walk towards them. I take my time, not sure what I was doing, but sure

I wanted to know how Emma was doing.

They all turn to me when I walk up to them. It felt like back in highschool. The scared nerdy kid

approaching the popular table.

“I just wanted to ask how Emma is” I announce, shifting from one foot to another.

At first no one says anything, but then Kate stands up and pulls me into her arms. I freeze. It was

so weird because she’s never hugged me before, so it felt strange.

My hands lay straight by my side. I don’t want to hug her back. Didn’t want to give her the wrong

idea.

“She’s okay. She just came out of surgery” Travis is the one that answers.

I just nod my head. What was there to say any way?

Kate releases me when she realizes that I am not hugging her back. She just looks at me with

tears in her eyes.

Holding out her hand, she goes to place it on my cheek, but I step back. Avoiding her touch.

“I’m glad you’re okay, Ava. So thankful that both my daughters are safe” her voice catches as she

speaks.

I want to tell her that I’m not her daughter. That she lost the right to call me that, but I don’t get

the chance.

“Darling?” her soft voice calls from behind. “It’s time to go home, my love”

1 see Kate flinch, but I don’t have it in me to care.

My gaze sweeps over all of them before finally landing on Rowan. I quickly avert my gaze from his.

“I’m glad she’s okay. I didn’t get to thank her, but tell her I’m grateful for what she did.” I don’t have anything else to add, so I turn around and walk to my parents.

Dad pulls me into his arms, and mom links her hand with mine. I feel eyes on me as we walk. I don’t have to be told who they belonged to.

I walk away, my mind in turmoil, but I refuse to turn around. I didn’t want to see the emotions in Rowan’s eyes. The ones that were burning for the brief second I looked at him. The very ones I refuse to acknowledge because I knew that I was probably mistaken.

There is just no way I saw something akin to love in his eyes as he stared at me, because Rowan only loves one woman and her name is Emma.