Ex-Husband's Regret

Uncharacteristic behavior I tap my feet nervously as I wait for my name to be called. I was currently sitting in the clinic’s waiting room waiting for my appointment.

To say I was nervous was an understatement because I was internally panicking.

This all felt like De ja vu. My second pregnancy and here I was going to my appointments alone. The only difference is that Ethan isn’t able to be present while with Rowan he just didn’t bother coming.

I tried so hard to ignore the fact that I was pregnant until a couple of days ago when I noticed that my waistline was increasing. My baby bump was starting to show and soon everyone will know that I’m pregnant.

I sigh tiredly and make a mental note to tell my parents. I haven’t had the heart to disclose that I

was expecting Ethan’s child. Mainly because he was still their son. It will be really weird for them

knowing that their biological daughter is pregnant by their adopted son.

The whole thing was messed up to say the least, but there’s nothing I can do about it. What’s done

is done. This baby was here whether I liked it or not. There was no going around that little fact.

“I can feel your nervousness all the way to my fucking bones, Ava” his deep voice brings me back

to the present.

I turn my head so quickly that I get a kink. I wince as I stare at him in shock. His grey eyes

piercing mine. He looked as handsome as ever with the only difference being that his face looked

relaxed.

“Rowan? What are you doing here?” I ask him, slowly blinking to make sure that I wasn’t

hallucinating his presence.

He shrugs his shoulder and smiles. I continue staring at him in shock. I think this is the first time

he has ever smiled when he was in my presence. This was probably the first smile that was

directed at me.

“I’m here to support you. I didn’t want you to be alone during your appointment” he simply says.

Something was definitely wrong with him. Why the hell did it feel like a damn scam?

I get close to him and feel if he has a fever. Maybe he was sick and that what was causing this

“What are you doing?” he asks frowning.

“I’m checking if you have a fever”

He looked okay and he didn’t have a fever so why the hell was here? What was going on in his

complicated head?

Before I can figure out what the hell had gotten into him, my name is called.

He grabs my hand and gently pull me to my feet. He then leads me towards the room where my

appointment was going to take place. The entire time we are walking I stare at his strong back. Completely astonished.

We get to the room and find Dr Raven waiting for us.

“Good to see you Ava, are you ready to see how you little munchkin is doing?” she asks and as

always she’s in a jovial mood.

I nod my head. Still in a daze.

“I’m assuming he’s the father?” she enquires throwing glances at Rowan.

“No! He’s just here to offer some support.” I rush quickly to say when I see Rowan start to open his mouth. He frowns at me and tightens his grip on my hand.

What in the world was wrong with this man? And why the hell did he look pissed off.

“Okay then” Dr. Raven drags the words. “You know the drill, get on the bed and pull your top up”

Rowan helps me up and I do what I was instructed. I shift uncomfortably as Rowan’s eyes locks on my exposed belly. It is so weird given that the last time he saw me naked was probably last year.

Before I can think more into, Dr. Raven squirts the cold liquid on my belly and begins to move the

wand around.

“Hmm” she murmurs, her face focused on the screen.

“Is something wrong?” Rowan beats me to the question.

“Everything is fine. The heartbeat is strong and the baby is growing as expected” she answers before turning towards me. “Do you want to know the gender?” she asks.

“No” I say just as Rowans says “Yes”

“Since you’re not the father, I will have to ignore your answer in favor of that of Ava, unless you

want to know the gender, Ava”

I shake my head. “No, I want it to be a surprise just like with Noah”

“My mouth is sealed then. I’m just going to print out the picture for you” she says as she switches

off the machine and stands up.

“Can you print a set of two?” I ask, remembering I had promised to send Ethan updates.

“Sure”

She hands me a tissue and I clean up the mess before pulling my top down. When I’m done, I look

up and Rowan is still staring at the blank screen.

“Rowan?” I call him.

He shifts his eyes to me before he stands up. We leave the room and pass by the secretary’s desk.

After getting everything I need and setting up my next appointment we leave the clinic.

“I want to take you out for lunch” Rowan surprises me once again.

I look at him suspiciously “Why?”

“I want us to talk”

I scan the roads. Checking if I could locate a taxi. Today I came by one because I wasn’t in the

mood to drive.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. We really have nothing to talk about” I focus my eyes back on him.

He runs his hands through his black hair. Seeming a bit frustrated.

“Rowan…” I was about to let him know I was leaving, but he cuts me off. His face turning stone

cold.

“I won’t take no for an answer. It’s either you get in by yourself or I carry you in” he says motioning

to his car.

“You wouldn’t dare”

“Fucking try me, Ava”

1

He starts advancing on me and I just know that he was about to enact his threat. With a humph, I

turn around and stomp towards his car.

He unlocks the car and I get in. I glare at him when he gets in and starts the car.

I keep quiet, not in the mood to talk. I was angry and confused with his sudden change in

behavior. I wanted the old Rowan back. The one I was used to. This version of him was new to me

and completely unpredictable. I didn’t like that.

We get to a restaurant I’ve never been to. He leads me inside where he gives his name and we’re

immediately shown to our table.

“What’s going on with you Rowan?” I ask him the moment we are alone. “Your behavior of late is

really confusing. I mean for heaven’s sake. You showed up to my doctor’s appointment for a baby that isn’t even yours when you never came to any of my appointments when I was pregnant with

Noah”

He doesn’t say anything. Just continues staring at me stonily. Reminding me of the

used to. Cold, indifferent and detached.

ersion I was

“You never wanted me anywhere around you before and now all of a sudden you’re everywhere. Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful you pulled me back during my darkest time, but can we just go

back to how things were? Can you please go back to treating me like I don’t exist?” I plead with

him.

I don’t want any more changes in my life. More importantly I don’t want trouble with Emma. They didn’t want me in their lives before and then all of a sudden everyone wants to be part of it?

I want a life away from them. Away from anything or anyone that reminds of my pain and

suffering. I just wanted to be left alone. I want to heal and I can’t do that while I’m still around the

people who caused that pain in the first place.

You can’t heal in the same place you got hurt.

“I’m sorry” he says after a while. It was so low that I thought I had imagined it. “I was so angry at you. I didn’t want to acknowledge the part I played that night. I fucking let you take the blame and then continued to punish you for something that wasn’t entirely your fucking fault”

He managed to shock me once again. He was just full of surprises today, wasn’t he? Rowan wasn’t the kind of man to apologize so the fact that he was is a miracle.

The more he spoke the more he got angry. I just wasn’t sure who his anger was directed at.

“I treated so horribly when you were just trying to make the best of a shitty situation. You were eighteen and scared, yet I let you go to all those doctor’s appointment alone. You’ll never know how much I’ll regret that.” He takes a deep breath

“Why now? Why are you apologizing now when everything has already been said and done? You’ve got to know that this won’t change a thing. The damage has already been done. The best we can do is be civil towards each other” I whisper.

What has gotten into everyone? When I wanted all of them to be apologize, none was willing to. Now when I’m ready to put them in my past where they all belong is when everyone is all of a sudden apologizing for hurting me.

“I’m so fucking sorry for the role I played in hurting and destroying you. I’m not a man who ever makes mistakes, but I admit that I made the biggest fucking one in how I treated you” (4)

I hear what he was saying, but it just wasn’t registering. How was I supposed to forgive him? How was I supposed to forget everything he put me through?” 3

I keep quiet as I stare at the table. I didn’t have anything else to say because I just didn’t know if I could ever forgive him.