Enough For Him

“I don’t care what time it is, you call me okay” Mom said wrapping her arms around me. I smiled knowing that mom would more than likely be worrying about me forever now.

“I love you mom” I said placing a small kiss to her cheek.

I left with George as he agreed to drop me off at the house on his way home.

When we arrived at home, I noticed a few of the lights were on. George dropped me off before heading home as well.

I walked up to the door and pushed my key through. As soon as I walked inside, I was instantly met with the smell of cooking. It smelt like pasta and I would be lying if I said I want salivating right now.

Leon had a few recipe’s that he learnt from his family. I may have hated his father, but the man was a great cook. I still remember the time I met his parents for the first time.Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

His mother was lovely, but Leon’s dad obviously didn’t think I was good for his son and made that obvious from our first meeting.

Leon was a clever boy growing up, he had confidence, talent and he was destined for greatness and with that destiny I was not included according to his father. I was a distraction and wasn’t worth it. But Leon didn’t care, he showed his interest in me from the very beginning and even though it started as a friends thing it transformed into late night talks, hanging out and even spending nights together.

When Leon moved that really tested our relationship. Its sad to know that we went through all of that and then now is when things fall apart.

I walked into the house and found Leon in the kitchen sipping from a glass of wine, he normally did this when he was stressed that along with cooking. It was kind of his therapy.

“hi” I said standing by the door. The sound of my voice made him turn around, seeing him in sweats reminded me of a young Leon. One that hated wearing fancy suits and hated the mere sight of a tie.

He nodded over at me before turning back to the stove.

I would be lying if I said it didn’t hurt.

Deciding that he wasn’t in the mood to talk and carried myself upstairs to check on Jayson. It was only 8 so he wasn’t asleep yet, he was in his room playing with some toys. Jean who was our added help when jay was born was sitting quietly on her phone in the corner.

“no trouble I hope” I said coming over and kissing little Jayson on the cheek. Jean sat up noticing me.

I felt bad, I haven’t really spoken to her since everything happened.

“A breeze” she said smiling at Jayson who was playing with his toy cars whilst a movie played on the tv screen. Jean was a lovely Asian lady who previously was a nurse, now she helps out a lot with Jayson. Leon pays her so its obvious she would stay here with Leon.

We sat down for a while before she was hugging me.

“how are you honey” she asked me pulling away. I sighed, I honestly don’t know how I am. I actually feel empty and I haven’t felt like this is a long time.

When I was younger, I was a quiet girl and often found myself depressed. Leon’s interest In me helped a lot and he brought me into a space that built my confidence and brought me many friends.

“I feel lost “I told her simply.

She held onto my hand “that’s understandable honey, you’ve gone through a lot these past few weeks and nobody expects you to be completely strong and move past it. Just know you have me; your family and Leon and we all love and want you to be happy”

I glanced at her when she said Leon. “that man loves you Liz, you have to realise that. I know how hard it is to be betrayed like that, but he’s worked hard to gain your trust again” she tells me.

Jean was always a mother figure to me, and I respected her. I knew she wasn’t siding with anyone she was merely speaking from her heart.

“I just think about it all the time, wondering if I was never enough for him” I even let a tear go at those words. A man can make you feel so special but then he can make you feel worthless.

Jean wrapped me in her arms again. “now wipe those tears and go talk to him. You two aren’t in school anymore you need to talk it through and stop avoiding the obvious” she says as she goes to pick up Jayson as a yawn made its way through. Poor baby.

“the obvious being?” I asked her. She smiled facing me “you two love each other of course” she said it so simply.

Is that what people saw.

Jean offered to get Jayson ready for bed so after removing my shoes and coat I made my way downstairs. When I walked into the kitchen, I found Leon sat at the kitchen bar with a plate of pasta. He wasn’t eating though he was kind of just staring at his phone, mindlessly scrolling through.

I spotted a plate of pasta on the seat next to him. My heart started to pump rapidly in my chest. Mustering up the courage I decided to pull out the seat and eat with him.

I slightly brushed his shoulder as I got inside. I pushed his plate closer to him.” It’s getting cold” I said referring to his untouched food.

My heart beats fast when I saw the smile on his lips. That smile could melt any girl.

He slowly twirled the pasta and started to eat. There wasn’t any talking, but it was peaceful.

“I’ve missed this” he said after taking a sip off his wine. I stopped eating altogether. I didn’t have the courage to look at him because those eyes are my weakness. If he missed this why the hell did, he fuck it up in the first place.

“just don’t” I warned him.

Things were going so well.

“no, I will. I fucked up Liz I know that. I ruined everything and I will forever deal with that guilt, but I have missed this, and I won’t stop telling you how much I fucking miss you” now he completely abandoned his food and turned to face me.

So much for the peaceful night.

“what’s to say you won’t do it again, when you realise, I’m too boring, plain not like them” I wouldn’t normally refer to myself as boring, but this is what he does to me. he lifted my spirits up for many years only to knock me down in one go.

He’s ruined me. Where is my confidence.

“I never thought that Liz, do you know how fucking amazing you are. None of this was your fault it was all my doing and I’m an idiot for not showing you that” yes you’re a fucking idiot.

I can’t cry in front of him he will take my weakness and use it against me.

Now I had lost all my appetite.

“I can’t do this” I said finally making a move, I stood up from my seat moving around him. I wasn’t even surprised when he grabbed my arm and brought me close.

His eyes pierced into mine. “I’m not giving up on us Liz” he whispers gently in my ear. I took one look at regretted it. I knew that look in his eyes. He was determined and I knew that when he is determined he normally gets it. But this isn’t some business deal this is something more than that.

He knows that.

The next week i had more meetings with work and more work to get done. It was a blessing in disguise to have a responsibility that didn’t concern Leon or Jayson because every minute I spent at home. It was a constant reminder of what danger we were in.

There was way too much evidence that leaked the guys to the crime which made it easy for the suspects to be charged with the crime which was also an additional blessing and it made me feel slight better knowing that they were going to be locked away.

One week later, George found me a company that fitted security in my studio. The owner of this studio came to see me personally and increased all security in the area. The old man was lovely and made sure that I was okay.

Leon offered to help me out but with me trying my best by ignoring him and having George drop off Jayson. We barely had the chance to speak.