CHAPTER 59
Chapter 59
MATTEO
I’ve come to terms with the fact that some days might be good and some days bad, but right now, in this moment when my eyes flutter open to my wife’s face scrunched up in pleasure and her pussy suffocating my dick, I can bet everything I have that it’s going to be a splendid day
today.
How the fuck did I end up shoving my dick into my wife’s pussy whilst we were asleep?
Where the hell are the kids?
How the hell is my wife enjoying sex when she’s half awake?
My thrusts are halted, my brain running in circles as I desperately attempt to fully decipher the events of this morning that might have led to
this.
Mirabella mumbles. “Matteo,.. Don’t stop. Please, don’t stop.”
“El? Baby? Are you asleep?” I murmur, grunting almost immediately when she rotates her hips, pushing herself forward to take all of me with a whimper.
Her pussy tightens around my dick suffocatingly and I hiss, burrowing my head into the crook of her neck, moaning her name.
“Mirabella, please wake up. You might not like this when you’re fully awake.” I choke out. I’m torn between taking advantage of the moment and fucking my wife awake or just being a gentleman and waiting until she’s conscious enough to give her consent.
She groans, flipping us over so that she’s straddling me. “You touched me in my sleep, got me all hot and needy, shoved your dick into me and now you want to play gentleman?”
My only answer to her rant is a moan because my wife doesn’t even give me a chance to explain when she starts bouncing on me like a sex deprived woman who just got one shot at it.
“Shit! Mirabella! Slow the fuck down!” I whimper, tightening my grip on her waist in an attempt to control her pace
She smacks me e across the face, throwing her head back as she whimpers. “Fuck you, Matteo I’m not a shitty mother!”
dl grunt ecstatically. “No you’re not. I’m sorry I said that”
She smacks me across the face again and I grunt
“I was holding back for a reason, although now that I look at it, I shouldn’t have let that man off the hook after he threatened my child. Money can always be made but family can never be replaced.” She breathes, slowing down her pace.
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“Oh God, Matteo.” She chuckles, excitement dancing in her hooded eyes as she stares down at me. “I could fuck you so hard right now.”
“I believe you’re doing that already, tesoro.”
“Tell me what you did to Mark Lobster.” She demands as she begins rocking her hips against me, her middle finger pressed down on her clit and her head thrown back.
“I killed him.” I whimper, smacking one of her boobs, immediately kneading on it soothingly.
“Details, Matteo.” Mirabella moans.
12:26 Sat, 22 Jun
“I chopped his dick off.”
“Yes! Tell me more!” She screams, her muscles tightening, her finger massaging her clit faster. I smack her hand off her clit, replacing it with mine and she moans aloud at the contact.
“Chopped off his fingers.” I grunt, burying the back of my head into the pillow as my wife’s waist continues moving incredibly fast on me.
“Yes Matteol I’m so close!”
It’s official, my wife has gone crazy.
My muscles tighten and I hiss when her walls clenches around me. “Cazzol Mirabellal Per favorel” I grunt, bracing my feet on the bed, thrusting my waist upwards to meet her half way as we both chase the peak of our pleasure.
“I cut his stupid tongue off and beat him to shit before leaving him to the boys. I’m sure he’s dead by now.”
That does it.
We both moan,
scream and whimper as we cum so hard that we’re left completely out of breath. I go limp on the bed and my wife’s body goes limp on mine as we exhale harsh pants through parted lips.
“Grazie.” Mirabella breathes and I chuckle.
“La famiglia non dice grazie.”
She shuffles through the bedside drawer before taking out a flash drive and throwing it at me. I raise a questioning brow and her jaw ticks as she runs a hand through her disheveled hair.
“You wanted to get to know the kids, that is your starting point.” She mumbles begrudgingly.
My heart warms at her willingness even when she so obviously loathes the idea.
“Grazie.” I whisper in a hushed murmur and she let out a scoff.
“La famiglia non dice grazie.”
Like I said, today is going to be exceedingly splendid.
Breathe.
Breathe.
Breathe.
My legs slap against the floor, hands tight in my hair and intense guilt tugging relentlessly at my heart as I frantically run like a mad man. I don’t care about the maids watching, I don’t give a fuck about any body’s opinion of my behavior, all I care about right now is reaching my
wife.
I have no idea what to say to her but I just want to see her.
Breathe.
I’m sweating from my head down to my toes, my hair and body soaked and my eyes reddened from the tears I’ve cried.
Breathe.
I was wrong, today is in no way splendid. Today would in fact count as one of the worst days of my life.
I’ve spent hours in front of a computer, my eyes moving rapidly across the screen, tears streaming down my face as the videos of my wife’s sufferings played over and over again.
Breathe.
How could I ever breathe, knowing that my woman suffered all on her own because of me. She suffered just so she could bring my children.
into this world.
Breathe.
Matteo!
Breathe.
Matteo!
Breathe.
Don’t let them win.
“Shut the fuck up!” My fingers dig into my scalp painfully hard as I hyperventilate right in front of my wife’s room.
品
Should I knock?
Breathe.
Should I just barge in?
Breathe.
What would I say to her if I walked into her room?
Breathe.
Would I apologize?
Breathe.
What exactly would I be apologizing for?
Breathe.
I throw my head back, gritting. “Shut the fuck up,”
Control, Matteo.
Stay in control,
Breathe.
What am I supposed to say to her?
12:26 Sat, 22 Jun
+5
Am I supposed to apologize to her for the miscarriage she almost had because I hit her? Am I supposed to apologize to her for being a coward of a man? Am I supposed to apologize to her for all the times she screamed my name, yearning for my presence but I wasn’t there?
How many
y sorries do I have to say before I get my act right?
Can a simple sorry really fix this?
I have never felt this level of guilt in my life. I saw my wife for the first time after five years and instead of making an attempt at remedying our relationship, I began pushing that she let me into our children’s life.
I am so selfish.
I wanted the children without even realizing how much she had gone through for them to be here.
Her cries are still an echo in my head as I stare blankly at the door, my trembling fingers wrapped around the knob and my cowardice heart not letting me push it open.
A video has me condemning myself in every possible way. A video which had started off cute with my wife sleeping, grumbling, eating and being an overall moody and hormonal pregnant woman.
A video that soon morphed into tragedy. My eyes were bloodshot red as I watched the video of my wife as she bled out, screaming and crying
pain until she passed out. That was around the end of her first trimester.
My heart shattered as I watched how my wife suffered through the third and fourth month of her pregnancy. It was very difficult for me, holding in my emotions whilst I watched my unconscious wife as she laid still on the hospital bed, surviving through the help of machines.
By the time she was awake, every part of her was abnormally swollen, causing her even a greater d
r deal of pain.
Multiple tests were carried out until it was discovered that she suffered from pre–eclampsia. And to make matters worse, with twins and was also diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes.
Breathe.
she was pregnant
I can still hear her sniffles and her cries when the doctor suggested that her best options were to either evacuate both babies, evacuate one
y both of them. and pray that the other survived or die trying to carry!
Breathe.
er that everything was
I wasn’t there. I wasn’t there for my Mirabella when she needed me. Instead of me hugging, consoling and telling her going to be alright, it was her best friend Ares who stood in my place.
I knocked her up and another man took responsibility,
I was such a fool
I am such a fool.
Breathe.
Her pale skin, chapped lips, disheveled hair and swollen eyes is still fresh in my memory. My wife suffered but she refused to let go of either of the kids. She held on but to her own detriment.
Breathe.
I can still picture her pained face when labor was induced eight weeks earlier than her delivery date.
Her screams in that labor room still plagues my fucked up mind
The doctor’s lace when she passed out mid–labor due to lack of energy and low blood pressure still plagues my vision.
Breathe.
Ares’s p
sprayer chants when she was rushed in for emergency surgery
ery still resonates in my eardrums.
His screams, threats and arguments when the doctor asked him to choose between the kids or the mother still resonates deep in my bones.
Breathe.
The unhealthy pale skin of my kids, their big heads and almost skeletal figures has my chest tightening so hard that I’m unable to breathe.
Breathe.
Mariana’s first cry has tears spewing from my eyes.
Breathe.
The announcement of Mariano’s time of death has me trembling and choking.
Breathe.
His faint heartbeat that came seconds after he was pronounced dead has me releasing a pained scream.
Breathe.
I can still picture my kids stuffed in that incubating machine for months.
I can still picture m
my Mirabella as she cried every time she went to visit them.
I can still picture her suffering when she was in recovery.
I failed.
Breathe.
I failed.
Breathe.
I’m a failure.
Breathe.
by wife as she stands in the middle of the room, staring right at me as though expecting
I push the door open and my swollen eyes land on my
me
I realize now that the flash drive wasn’t an opportunity to get to know my kids, it was my punishment.
It is my punishment and I’ll accept it.
I take a step into the room, closing the door behind me. I take another step, once. Twice, Thrice. My legs give out on me and I crash knee first before my wife as tears stream down my face.
“I’m sorry.” I murmur. “I’m so sorry. Mirabella, I’m sorry.”
She hums. “What exactly are you sorry for?”
“Everything”
“Everything is nothing.” She hisses and I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat.
“I’m sorry for all the times I hurt you physically, emotionally and mentally. I’m sorry for being a coward, I’m sorry for being a stupid man, I’m sorry for being a fool, I’m sorry for failing you…I’m sorry for all you had to go through. I’m sorry for not being there for you.”
She looks down at me. “I already forgave you before you asked my forgiveness but I could never forget.” She whispers and my heart shatters into tiny pieces, a choked sob escaping the back of my throat. “You were angry and I get it, I too would be if I sensed betrayal from the person I loved. You sent me away but you never cared to look for me. Five years, Matteo, five years and you couldn’t find me. Did you even try? Did you even try to find me or were you okay with letting me go?”
A tear slides down her beautiful face.
“I looked,” I answer. “I looked. I never gave up, not once in five years. Believe me, Mirabella. I did look but you were either invisible or you were everywhere at the same time. Getting a hold of you was too difficult but I did try.” I plead like my life depends on it.
She nods. “Let’s say you did look, Matteo, but there’s this one place that you could have easily found me at, did you look there? Did you go
there even once?”
Breathe.
Control.
I can’t say it,
Breathe.
No.
Nol
No!
A tear slides down her face. And another. And another. “I thought as much.” She backs away from me…
No baby. Please let me explain.
Give me another chance.
I yell the words in my heart but my lips remain tightly shut
I stand, moving closer to her but she moves back, holding her hand up to stop me.
“Please leave, Matteo. We’re done. When my thoughts are straight, we can discuss your visitation with the children but for now, I need you to leave.” She spits, vile and rage leaking out of her words.
I shake my head frantically. “No. Per favore, Dammi un’altra possibilità.” I sob, throwing my arms around her. “Please baby. I’ll be better, ‘ become better, but don’t cast me away.”
“You’ve said that many times!” She screams her sob.
12:27 Sat, 22 Jun o
“I know, but it’s true this time. It’s really true. I’m a better man, I’m working on myself. I’ll go for therapy, I’ll attend anger managernent. classes but please don’t leave me. I want you and our kids, I want our family complete.”
our legs
has us both running out of the room. We run downstairs as fast as our
She opens her mouth to speak but a sound of something crashing ha can move as we wipe our faces clean.
We both halt, eyes widening as we stare down at the sight in front of us.
Our voices resonate. “What the fuck happened here?!”