Cold Feet

Chapter 20

VIOLA

Amber is gone. She left me her uniforms as she promised and refused to take money for them since they were already used. I arrive home feeling disappointed and envious at the same time. I deposit the uniforms on my bed. I’ll have to get dressed in one soon for my first shift.

I’m disappointed that Amber’s gone but it’s selfish of me to wish that she would have stayed. I’m envious because I wish I was headed back to Los Angeles.

If you want to go back you better work for it and start contacting people, I tell myself. I have some friends but most of the work-related acquaintances are from the wedding industry like me. I’m not sure if they’d be interested to help me.

If you don’t try, you’ll never know, I tell myself. You’re right, I answer myself as I get in the shower. I vow to start contacting people tomorrow before my shift.

The evening shift passes quite uneventfully. It’s quiet for a Monday night and there are a few customers that pass through. I talk to a few, asking their names, how often they pass through the truck stop, what they haul in their trucks.

Most open up easily. They’re only too happy to talk about what they do. Maybe they’re just happy to have someone to talk to after driving those long distances with no company. None of them try to hit on me and I try to remember everyone’s names. I’m not sure I’ll remember them next time they come around but I sure won’t forget their faces. I never forget a face.

My approach seems to be a hit with the clients. It seems no-one’s ever shown as much interest in them as I do and I’m glad. When I go home, I’m confident that I’ve won some customers over and that they’ll be back next time they pass this way. I don’t know if I’ll still be here though. But I don’t let my thoughts get ahead of me and take it one day at a time.

The morning passes faster than I expected. I’ve made good progress with my search for work back in Los Angeles. I don’t really know what else I want to do besides being a wedding planner. I know it will be difficult to get back in the game but I’m hopeful anyway.

The friends I contact all say they don’t know of any jobs but will definitely refer me if they hear of anything. I hope for the best but can’t help wondering if my contacts are simply saying they’ll refer me if they hear of anything as a gentle letdown instead of telling me that I must be crazy thinking I can get back into the game.

My old assistant Jessica is glad to hear from me.

“Hey, where are you now?”

“Back in my hometown,” I reply.

“What are you doing there?”

“I had no idea where to go. At least there’s something of a home here.”

“My heavens girl. You’ll dry up and blow away there! You have to find something new back here.”

“I’m trying.”

Jessica pauses. I can tell she is thinking. “What about out of the industry?”

“I don’t know. What could I do? I don’t know if anyone will think I’m suitable for anything or not.”

“I’ll tell you what. Send me your resume. I know a recruitment consultant. He might be able to help. In fact, I’m sure he’ll be able to help.” Jessica says it like she knows something I don’t.

“How well do you know him?” I ask.

“Well enough to know he likes me,” Jessica replies.

“Oh, so you’re going to dangle the carrot over him?”

“Something like that.”

“Don’t go selling yourself for me girl,” I say.

Jessica laughs. “No. It’s nothing like that. I know he likes me and I kind of like him too but I don’t think he’s worked hard enough yet to get my attention.”

“Okay,” I smile. “Well I hope he helps me well enough to earn a date with you. Your standards have always been so high.”

Higher than my heels,” Jessica jokes. She’s referring to her incredibly high heels that she loves to wear. How she does it I don’t know. “But, it’s the job he gets you that’s going to determine if he gets a date with me or not.”

“Thank God I’m not dating you,” I say. “But thanks anyway.” We speak a bit longer before we end the call. I send Jessica my resume and leave for my shift.

Jessica’s friend calls me the next morning. I’m taken aback at how quickly he’s working. He must really want that date with Jessica. His name is Clark.

“What job are you looking for?” Clark asks. His voice is strong, masculine and I can’t help but wonder what he looks like. Jessica always gets the most handsome men. How she never holds on to the them I really don’t know. Or maybe they can’t hold on to her.

“Let me be honest Clark. You might have heard about a big wedding fiasco recently where the bride caught the groom in the bathroom with the maid of honor at their reception?”

“I recall something like that,” Clark replies.

“Okay. Well you might also remember that the wedding planner took the heat for everything that happened there because she used a wedding whisperer?”

“Oh. Yes. I remember that clearly. What’s that got to do with…”

“I was the wedding planner.”

“Okay,” he says slowly. I can hear the uncertainty creeping into his voice. I can practically hear him thinking, why can’t anything ever be easy?

“I wanted you to know that because anyone you talk to who realizes who I am is going to expect you to know it too.”

“Got it,” Clark replies. The tone of friendliness seems to have waned. Exclusive content © by Nô(v)el/Dr/ama.Org.

“Okay, so, I would love to get back into the industry. I can’t run my own business but I do have skills and I am damn good at it. So, I can be a good employee for any wedding planner looking for an assistant. I do recognize though that just maybe no-one wants to have anything to do with me so I will consider other jobs. Perhaps in event planning, interior decorating, or something secretarial. Just keep in mind that I am not in LA and if I need to come for an interview, I need time to get there. Two days’ notice will do just fine.”

“Okay. Got it,” Clark says. I don’t like that his answers have become very short.

“Have you got anything that you think might be a good fit for me right now?” I ask.

“There may be a few secretarial jobs around. I’ll check the database and send you a few. Let me know what you think is more up your alley.”

“I’ll appreciate it,” I say and then add, “Jessica said you’re great and I’m sure you’ll be able to find me the right job.” I want to remind him of Jessica and what’s in it for him just in case he’s forgotten because I’ve told him who I am.

We end the call and I say a silent prayer before sending Jessica a message to tell her that we’ve talked. I suggest she pushes Clark as well.

I don’t feel too confident after the call. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m just being sensitive. After all, I wasn’t that famous outside the wedding planning industry was I? What I had done was no crime. It was merely intended to help people get over their last minute jitters and go through with their wedding instead of calling it off and wasting thousands of dollars if they cancelled at the last minute. Who could blame me if they divorced later? It was up to the couple to make it work. The choices any couple makes after they’re married are all their own. Including the decision to divorce.

The thought of divorce reminds me of Rick. I recall how I cut him off and stopped returning his calls and answering his messages. I feel bad about it and scroll through my address book. I find his contact and think of contacting him. I decide against it. What’s the point? I’m hundreds of miles away. It’s not like I’m going to see him again. Besides, he’s probably moved on by now.

I’ve been a bitch, not answering his calls and messages. Why would he want to be in touch with me at all now? Besides, as good looking as he is, he’s not into long term relationships so what would the point be. If we ever got together I would simply be waiting for him to break my heart. I don’t need nor want that. I put my phone aside and get ready for work.