Brothers of Paradise Series

She sighs. “You were my first kiss, you know?”

My heart stops for what feels like an eternity. She has never brought that up before.

That kiss had been the scariest decision of my life, and it had hardly even been a decision at all. It had been instinct. She’d been sitting across from me outside the beach house, eating freshly picked blueberries, and I’d just leaned over and pressed my lips to hers. It was years ago.

There had been absolutely no finesse to it.

It had also been a mistake, arguably, for the way she’d reacted. My brave, brave girl, and she’d been shell-shocked. I’d been terrified that I’d screwed everything up after that.

“Hayden?” Her voice is quiet. “Maybe you don’t remember. It’s fine, I was just thinking out loud.”

Fucking hell.

I wish I could look her in the eyes. I need to see what she’s thinking in this moment. Is she just reminiscing with an old friend?

Or is this… an opening?

“I remember,” I say. “You freaked out.”

“Did not.”

“Did too.”

I can hear the smile in her voice when she continues. “Okay, maybe I did, a little. I just didn’t know what to do.”

“You’re cute.”

“That’s not what you’re supposed to say, Hayden. You’re supposed to tell me that I was a perfect kisser and a veritable vixen.”

Hell, I can’t hide the smile on my face. “Lils, not even you were a seductress at age thirteen.”

“How rude.”

“Lily.”

“No, I’m honestly offended. Wounded, even.”

I reach over and grip her thigh right above the knee, like all of her brothers used to do to one another. Only, I don’t grip her as tight as they ever had. She laughs and yelps, pushing against my hand. “Fine, I’m not offended.”

I let go. “Good.”

“So, was I yours?”

“What?”

“Was I your first kiss?”

Did her voice sound hopeful? I turn up on Ocean Drive and consider my response. More likely than not, I’m a desperate man, begging for her scraps of affection. And how I wish I could answer yes to that question, too.

But I’d never lied to Lily.

“No.”

She snorts. “A playboy by fourteen. I’m not surprised.”

“It was before Paradise Shores.” I park on the driveway, right next to Rhys’s expensive Mustang. A statement car, he called it. I called it pretentious. “And it didn’t mean anything.”

Lily chuckles. “Of course not. You were a kid.”

I grab her sports bag from the back. “Right. Exactly.”

Maybe I should get that into my head too, one of these days.

Childhood kisses don’t count.

A few months later, at the ripe old age of thirteen, Atlas had to be put to sleep. Eloise Marchand had tried everything she could, but the dog was too sick. Vet’s orders. The dog had been sweet, and it was a shame, but I didn’t take it as hard as the Marchand kids.

Henry pretended like he didn’t care-it was getting hard to tell if it was even a pretense anymore. Parker was a mess.

Rhys and I, we brought out the big guns. We pulled out the sofa-bed in his room and brought up the old Nintendo. It had been years since that last got played. After my first arrival here, the boys had upgraded to newer and newer consoles. Now we regularly played the latest releases.

“Here,” Rhys says. “I found a six-pack in the basement.”

I grab one of the beers he tosses my way. “You sure?”

He shrugs. “Dad won’t care.”

Henry accepts one too. “I suppose it’s as good a day for underage drinking as any other.”

“To Atlas,” Parker says and raises his can. We all toast.

Rhys turns on the flat-screen TV in his room. The garish symbols and the cheery music of the old game flicker back to life.

I have to give it to him, there’s something nostalgic about the whole thing. It fits the mood. Maybe that’s what he wanted to do-to bring the brothers together one last time.

Henry is only here for the weekend, back from New York, and Rhys has to go back to college soon. Parker and I already have one foot out the door with graduation approaching.

Henry reaches for one of the controls. “Has someone checked on Lily?”Belongs to (N)ôvel/Drama.Org.

Rhys nods. “She wants to be left alone.”

“All right.”

I take another sip of my beer and watch as the colorful Italian brothers race across a pixelated landscape of mushrooms and plants.

Lily has never known life without that dog. She’s kind, and she could take things hard sometimes. I’d seen it happen before-with dropped plates or mean girls at school.

It doesn’t feel right that she’s in her bedroom alone. I feel it in my bones, but out of all of us boys in Rhys’s bedroom, I have the least reason to feel protective. I’m not Lily’s brother, thank God.