Because Of Love

Talia’s heart beat wildly at what she assumed he was saying without actually saying it. The man had a habit of not answering to the obvious. Actually no, he did. He stared, like he was at the moment.

You are jumping to conclusion Talia. Pump the brakes, take a breath and try and clear it out before you have a heart attack.

“Is this going to be the car again? Just because you live in my apartment I would never ask you to split the rent. Sure, pay for a few things here and there but-”

“You know what I mean,” he said, cutting her off.

Talia clenched her jaw hard. No, she didn’t want to know what he meant!

“Just because in three months the house will be officially mine doesn’t mean I’ll move in immediately,” she went on with her rumble. She pressed her hand to her forehead as an anxious tremor came over her with a chill. “You’ll probably have figured everything out by then-”

“Talia, smetti.”

She immediately stopped talking. Though he said it in a soft way, the command was there.

“Prendi un respire.”

She did as instructed and took a deep breath but it didn’t work. She was going to need a lot more than a single breath, a single oxygen wouldn’t be enough! What was he doing to her?

All she wanted was to share the moment she became an official home owner not actually share the house.

Wait, he couldn’t possibly have thought… Please black Elvis let this be it!

“Rafe, I brought you with me because I wanted you to see the house that I’m buying, not pay for it. Nor even suggest cohabiting. We aren’t exactly-”

She stopped with a groan, her fingers clasping the napes of her neck, pressing down hard. Don’t go there! Don’t bring that up for crying out loud!

Why again did she bring him with her?

She needed to leave. Yes, that was it. Retreat. Regroup. Ignore the subject ever came up.

She turned on her heel to do just that but Rafe caught her by the upper arm and spun her back to him. His other hand went around her other arm, holding her in place, foiling her escape.

He leaned down to look her in the eye and said, “Stop pretending you can’t understand me.”

Tiny hairs on the back of her neck stood straight up and goosebumps rose on her skin. Yes, she was pretending to misunderstand him. Yes she knew what he was insinuating. Yes she knew what the next words out of his mouth would be but she wasn’t ready, especially not today.

Today was meant to be simple, familiar, known, on track with her life, before Rafe crashed into it day. She was buying a house today! One big life changing decision was all she was prepared to make and this thing between them wasn’t it. It wasn’t on the schedule.

This wasn’t it! She moaned inwardly, swallowing the lump in her throat.

Rafe looked at her expectantly but Talia just stared back, willing him to drop the subject.

“I know I said you weren’t ready for this conversation but-”

No, no no no no! Her mind screamed. Immediately, her body stiffened with the desire to run, and she answered the impulse, turning away but he turned her back.

“I’m serious about us,” he said, a sense of urgency filling his voice as it rose. “I made myself at home with you.”

She snorted. That was an understatement if she’d ever heard one. And the problem.

“Yes, I know. The mug rings on my coffee table can testify to that,” she mumbled with a pinched smile, trying to ease the tension with humor.

This man just moved in with her, decided he was going to live with her, made her a part of his journey back to sanity then bought her a car, put money in her account which she told herself was for his expenses and now, now he wants to buy a home. For them. Together.

Santo dios! Why won’t he just let things be! They already had enough on their plate.

“I said with you, not in your apartment.”

“Rafe…” Talia moaned, raising her hands and pressing her eyes to the heel of them.

“What exactly are your reservations?” he asked, sounding so reasonable.All text © NôvelD(r)a'ma.Org.

Reservations? Ha! Unless he was talking about restaurant reservations, her reservations were a lot more complicated than that.

She looked up at him, brows pulled together suddenly feeling irked. Why was he pretending like he didn’t know what ‘her reservations’ were?

“You know very well why I don’t think getting a house together is a good idea.”

“What? That I’m using you? That I’m mentally unstable?”

“Rafe,” she groaned, irritated as she yanked at her arms to break his hold. “This has nothing to do with your mental health. I never once said you were mentally unstable,” she snapped feeling offended. “I don’t think you are ready for a relationship.”

“Talia-”

“Quite frankly, I’m not willing to risk it,” she added, cutting him off.

“Talia, listen to me.”

No, she didn’t want to listen to impossibilities any longer. Mustering all her strength, she brought her hands up and dropped them with her heave, finally breaking his hold on her and yelled, “You’re running Rafe and I’m just a stopover!”

They stood silently, staring at each other. Him, still and stoic. Her, emotionally strained and suddenly exhausted. She looked away, rolling her lower lip into her mouth and pressing a trembling hand to her forehead. This wasn’t how this day was meant to go.

“That’s where you’re wrong,” he declared, his voice hard with conviction.

A slow lithe heat of hope wound through her body, chasing away the chill of doubt that had settled in her bones. Oh how she wished she was as sure as he was. The flow of what ifs melted, softened and evaporated the deep icy hooks of fear that had dug into her bones, that was anchoring her to the surety of a heartbreak.

As if sensing her perplexity as the scales began to sway, shifting away from impossibilities to favor possibilities, the creak of the heavy door that caged her heart as it was pushed ajar allowing just a crack of light through, Rafe’s gaze softened and a ghost of a smile flittered over his lips.