Chapter 33
¬Abella
We met with the Gaze Reader the next day.
It took me almost a whole night to convince Cian that I didn’t want to use the Gaze Reader to separate the mate bond. I couldn’t just make a decision overnight, when I’ve barely spoke to Noah, and Cian has been nothing but frantic. But his desperation has lead me to remain sitting here, right in front of a Gaze Reader.
I demanded he leave the room, which thankfully, he complied to that much. But as I sit here, gripping the edge of my wooden seat, I wonder what I’m going to do next. I’ve never needed to be in front of a Gaze Reader before. They frighten me.
They are half Phantom like creatures, with the ability to look into anyone’s gaze and retract segments of their memory. From what they have seen, and what they might see in the future.
Right now, I don’t want someone sifting through my brain. But I don’t have much choice.
“You’re not here to have the mate bond separated, are you?” the Gaze Reader drawls, voice thick with an unintelligible accent. I swallow, but the lump in my throat goes nowhere. The Readers eyes are a foggy, purple colour, already feeling like they are drawing out my thoughts before the ritual has even started.
He’s right, I’m not. There’s no way I’m going to go through the process of separating a mate bond, which Cian tried to convince me wouldn’t be painful, but I hardly believe him. Not without knowing in my mind what I actually want. I haven’t given Noah a chance, so I’ve come here hoping this Gaze Reader will look into my eyes and tell me what I really want.
Cian doesn’t know this yet… I know he wouldn’t agree.
“I’m hoping you can tell me something that I don’t know about myself,” I say uneasily, shifting in my seat. This Gaze reader has a completely shaved head, incoherent patterns tattooed all across his skin. It’s only highlighted by the golden jewellery hanging from his lips, nose, eyebrows and ears.
“Is this about your mate outside?” he questions. He hasn’t yet started looking into my eyes yet, but he’s clearly reading my expression. Or maybe he watched my wariness around Cian. It’s not because he’s an immortal, I’m over that now, but because I’m still getting over the lie he’s kept from me the entire time I’ve known him.
I chew the edge of my lip. “I have two mates. And I need to know which one is better for me. I know you’re here to split the mate-bond, or at least start the process, but I can’t do that right now. Please just look into my head and tell me who I end up with.”
The Gaze Reader doesn’t reply right away, eyebrows furrowing. They cast their eyes toward the door, which Cian no doubt is standing behind, waiting for an answer.
“Your mate is paying me.”
“Cian is Greed, he has all the money in the world. He will pay you, if you do this for me. He’s not going to be mad at anyone but me,” I tell him, hoping that’s true. I honestly don’t know what Cian is capable of. “Please. I beg of you.”
The Gaze reader grabs the edge of my seat, dragging me with a sudden unknown strength closer to the point our knees were touching. There’s something so much more frightening about these people close up. The milky eyes, the stench of magic leaking from their skin. It is adds up, but they have no power outside their mind reading abilities.
“I’m doing this, because no immortal will control what I want to do. Including a Sin,” they say sternly, grabbing either side of my face with chillingly cold hands. Forcing my gaze into theirs, a wave of dizziness hits me, and my sight sinks into a pools of bright vivid colours.
Time passes at a strange frequency. I’m not sure how long it has been when I’m finally released from the Gaze Reader’s grasp, my head lolling back.
It takes me a good few moments for me to come back to.
“I’m not sure if you want to know the information that I found,” is all they say. I stare blankly at them, unsure of what any of this means for a second. It then dawns on me that he likely hold a a piece of my future in his hand, that one action from me could completely change. But he knows it, and I don’t, and that scares me.
Because now I’m not even sure I want to know.
“Tell me. Do you know who I’m going to choose?” I ask. Just saying those words make my tone shudder. Now I’m doubting whether I should be asking these questions. What if I hear a disappointing answer. Would either of the answers be disappointing? I haven’t let myself think about who I would prefer as my mate.
The Gaze Reader nods solemnly. “You have the choice to not know. This may change the future if you do, so consider it carefully.”
Glancing at the door, I let my mind wander. This decision doesn’t have to change anything, if I don’t want it to. Maybe I could deal with having two mates. Maybe they would get used to it, as unfair as it might seem.
“Just tell me. I’m not going to be able to leave this room without knowing who it is,” I decide. I’m not going to be able to keep both of my mates around with making a decision, so instead of losing both, I’m going to need to know who my best option is. Future me must have known something I didn’t, so hopefully this will make the process quicker.
As long as I don’t change my mind.
“You go with the safest option. The option that makes the most sense in keeping yourself safe. But most importantly, you feel an obligation to him, like you owe him the bond over anyone else, because it came first,” the Gaze Reader tells me, tone bored and drawn out.
I don’t even need to know who he is talking about to realise what he is meaning. “You’re saying I pick Cian over Noah?”
The Gaze Reader shrugs. “I think you’ll know when it comes to it. But remember, you can always change your mind. What I see isn’t a permanent future. It can be manipulated but, but I do warn you, I am a slave to Time, so I can’t tell you exactly what may happen. But I can warn you. This isn’t the only problem I see from your future. Prepare for a great amount of pain very soon, and I suggest trusting the person you might think is your biggest enemy.”
His admission shocks me, but he doesn’t give me enough time to respond, getting to his feet before letting Cian back in the room, leaving me to consider everything he just told me.
And honestly, it’s terrifying.
***
Cian left swiftly after.
It didn’t take much to explain to him why I didn’t want to separate the bond yet… main;y because he didn’t want to stay long enough to hear me. Maybe it’s jealousy, but he left before he could even consider getting angry at me. At least it’s given me time to go over what the Gaze Reader said to make sense of it. After being unable to come to a conclusion on what any of it means, I decide to go back to see Noah, hoping he will help me.
Evening has just fallen as I walk slowly up to his front door. Do I tell him why I was seeing a Gaze Reader in the first place? Do I tell him everything that the Gaze Reader said? No, that’s not important right now.Property belongs to Nôvel(D)r/ama.Org.
The moment I step through the front door, he appears at the top of the stairs. Concern is painted across his entire face, but it remains the centre of my attention for only a moment.
Pain strikes me right in the thigh, aggressive and hot.
Falling to the ground, I scream. The pain comes in waves, pulsing underneath my skin. Looking down, crimson blood spreads across my pants, right where I know the mark is. Tearing at the fabric, I look up at Noah desperately, who races down the stairs, meeting me at the bottom.
“It’s the mark,” I say restlessly through a breathless gasp. Clawing at my pants, I consider cutting the mark free, desperate for the pain to stop as it fogs all rational part of my brain. I want to claw my skin off, I want to scream and beg Noah to make it stop.
“It’s okay, we will get you help,” Noah tells me, holding my back. Despite the calm confidence in his voice, I know through my desperation that there is no way he knows how to help me.
The door closing behind me makes me jump, looking over my shoulder, the fear that consumes me is far greater than this pain will ever amount to.
Stace.
“I think I should take it from here,” he murmurs.